Episode Summary

Jenna shares methods to move from indecision to action.

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Show Notes

Do you feel like you don’t know what you're doing? That you're not original enough? Maybe you find yourself waffling over options when you need to make a decision. Falling into periods of indecision is normal, but detrimental if left unchecked.

This week, I share methods for working through your indecision, how to get clear about your business, and the process of clarifying. I explain why your business will have its own unique needs and creative problem-solving that only you are able to discern.

Discover how to find your Uncommon Way and the importance of it for your business's success. Learn 4 paths for overcoming indecision, when to ask for help, and a simple nudge toward reclaiming your power and action.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• How to identify your business’s needs.

• Why getting clear is different for everyone.

• When a coach is necessary.

• 4 actions to overcome indecision.

Listen to the Full Episode:

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• Ep #2: The Decision Tree

Full Episode Transcript:

Do you sometimes feel like maybe you don't really know what you're doing in your business? And that maybe other women are better business women or they have better info or more original things to say? That you must be focusing on the wrong things or people or just not doing it right, because otherwise business would be much easier and you'd be much further along right now? Today, we are going to shift your thinking around this and create much different results because of it. Ready? Let’s go.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach, and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, friends, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I guess I should welcome myself back. We are back from our month in Palma now, where we've been looking for our international base. For years, we really thought we would want to split time between the U.S. and somewhere in the Mediterranean.

Each year we'd been scouting out a different location, and now I think we found it. Majorca really checks all the boxes for us, having a cosmopolitan city, and just 20 minutes away you can be in beautiful nature. There are tons of international schools. There's a bustling airport that will help us get home quickly, and to just travel quickly. It was fun.

When I was there, I was rebranding, and my photographer said she leaves every month on a discount flight somewhere in Europe, just to get a different breath of fresh air, inspiration, the whole thing, and then come back and resume or shooting. So, on the one hand, it is a happily ever after story. But on the other, I want to be real about the fact that it was a very hard a month.

These months are always challenging because of the full time childcare. My son really functions best with a lot of routine. So, travel is challenging. Each year it is getting so much better. But at five, it's still emotionally draining on all of us, him included, of course. So, for those of you who are parents, think about your child's crankiest times. When they are hungry and tired, they haven't exercised, they've been pent up, and when they're very disappointed over something.

Think about how they are, okay? And now, imagine that lasting for a month. And to really exacerbate the situation, let's just crank it up a little, right? There was a heat dome over southern Europe when we were there, so it was over 100⁰. It was so hot; we just couldn't leave the house except in the mornings or the late afternoons. And so, we were all on top of each other. We were in a pressure cooker, literally.

Now, of course it was punctuated by some great moments. They often coincided with saying yes to candy or pizza or an iPad. Or maybe right when my son had woken up from a nap and he was so cuddly and sweet. But overall, he was quite annoyed about everything.

He's very articulate for a five-year-old, and he does not hold back when it comes to telling you exactly why he is dissatisfied; what you're doing wrong and how it should be done so much better. And that just wears on you day after day, or it was wearing on me I should say, day after day.

In the midst of it all, he decided that he didn't like my mom anymore, and he was being quite mean about it. She eventually started getting upset and sad, and so now I'm busy thinking about how I can help her feel better while I'm trying to mitigate my son's mood, and trying to show my husband the best of Spain and keep spirits up because, of course, I want us to choose Spain.

I finally just lost it. I had this huge cry fest. I just started bawling. I went outside into our little courtyard and I just sat there and sobbed and felt so much better afterwards. I realized a couple things were going on. I had been trying to manage everyone's emotions. Funny how your life coach training can go right out the window in times of stress, right? I forgot that I can't control everyone's emotions.

And then two, I had really snapped back into the kind of hypervigilance and anxiety that you have, or at least I had, when you have a newborn. So, it was very much like all of your attention’s going to, have they eaten? Have they eaten well? Is it time to eat again? If he hasn't had enough sleep, when do we fit in the nap? How do we get him to take the nap? He's going stir crazy. He needs exercise.

Trying to be emotionally supportive of him while he was obviously having a difficult time, and even while he's hurling insults at me. It just became exhausting. To let you know, the last part of the trip got much better. We had planned in advance to spend part of the time in the country and part in the city. And once we moved to Palma, the heat dome dissipated. So yay, we could get out throughout the day, and there was tons to do.

There was a park with a playground right across the street. By then we were over the jetlag, we'd figured out how things worked around there, and it was a much better experience. So much so, that Dylan and Ben both say that they want to live there now. So, stay tuned for that next summer.

The reason I'm telling you all of this is not to elicit your sympathy, but it's for a few reasons. One, is that I hope you've been following me on Instagram. I still have more content from Spain that I want to get out to you all, but everything you see on Instagram is not the truth.

I know you know this, we're all sophisticated consumers at this point. I just find it helpful myself, when anyone I see on Instagram tells me this isn't the whole story. And so, I'm just telling you all, it's not the whole story. I'm going to be saying that on Instagram too, but you're hearing it first.

Another thing that's so helpful to hear, and that I want to continue to say as well, is that when we're building our businesses, we do tend to think that when we get to some certain magical level… and it's different for all of us, we have this number in our head… and when we get there, everything's going to be better. Life is just going to be so much easier. When truthfully, what happens is we exchanged problems for different problems.

We still have human brains that create negative experiences for ourselves. Obviously, money is life changing at a certain level, but most of the people in my audience already have a fair amount of financial security, more than we all want to admit. And so, we're just going to continue having human experiences.

That is why we should just learn to love the exact stage and the exact place we're at, because you’re skill building, and you're bringing that into the future so that you can enjoy the totality of your life more no matter what is happening.

The other reason that I want to tell you this is because, just because it's hard, doesn't mean it's not worth it. Every year, when we go overseas… and for those of you who have been here for a while, yes, we've been looking for the place that we’re going to live in Europe.

But also, even before we were really thinking on that level, I was committed to having Dylan growing up where he couldn't even remember when he first started traveling, and couldn't remember when he first started being a part of other cultures and seeing how other cultures lived. It has gotten easier each year.

But those are tough months for us when we do that. But just because it's hard doesn't mean it's not worth it. Every single client of mine has a moment when they ask, is it really worth it? Is this whole building a business thing really worth it? I still think those thoughts, too. We all think those thoughts. And usually, the assumption is because it's so hard. But so what if it's hard? Embrace the hard if it's moving you towards what you want.

Because when you do, there will be a moment when you look up and you realize that your family has just enjoyed this amazing dinner with fresh fish caught that day, and the dinner was filled with laughter and love. And now you all are strolling along through the beautiful paseo, the beautiful boardwalk by the sea, and the moon is shining on this beautiful ocean.

All the families, the Spanish families, are out and about; their children, their grandparents. Everyone's greeting each other and saying hi. The temperature is just perfect.

And you feel your heart swell, knowing that you're living in this exact moment. One of those moments that you will remember for the rest of your life. Your son just happens to be the perfect age, and because he's the little rebel that he is, he has snuck into a playground they're still building and had cordoned off, but he's managed to find his way in there. He's swinging gleefully, laughing and throwing his head back, and swinging as high as he can.

People are stopping to just smile and shake their heads, and you're living it. I'm tearing up. You're loving it, in that moment. And so, you've probably already felt that in business, as well. You felt the moment when the client is so thankful. You've felt the moment where you've reached a financial goal, you've signed your first client, you have successfully launched your program, you've received some sort of accolade or award. Whatever it is, those moments sneak up on us.

They shouldn't be discounted. They should be grasped with both hands, and squeezed for every ounce of life and magic as it's available, because they're so worth it. Alright, I had an epiphany while I was there, another one, and I wanted to share it with you, because I think it really relates to what so many of you and my clients are going through.

It was when I felt myself sink into indecision. For those of you who've been with me for a while, my husband is retiring from the military next year, and we have been considering where we were going to move. And we were thinking we would have a house in the U.S. and a house in Europe. Then over time, as we spent more and more time in Europe, we'd maybe be able to transition to full time life there.

But I have been longing to live in Europe again for about a decade, and that was coming out more and more when we were actually there. Of course, right then, I'm just oh, loving so many aspects of that lifestyle. Ben and I started wondering, do we even want to move to Durham like we had been planning or do we want to just go straight to Spain?

That is when I felt myself sink into indecision, weighing all the pros and cons, trying to do all of the analysis that we've been taught to do. And for those of you that have not heard my early podcast episode called “The Decision Tree,” you might want to go back and listen to that.

Because weighing the pros and cons is not how I recommend we make the majority of our very important decisions. I believe that most often, deep down, clarity already exists for us. It's already within us, and we have to be the ones to take that leadership position in our brains, remind ourselves that we do know, so that we can transition into decisive action, and stop doing all the spinning and the staying up late or waking up in the middle of the night, or the exhausting back and forth, and the anxiety spirals.

And so, I'll tell you now what my epiphany was and how it relates to business. I realized that the most urgent shift that I needed to make in the moment, and the most urgent shifts that I know so many of you need to make, is the shift from ‘I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what to do,’ to ‘I know what I need to do.’

Think about all of the focus and momentum and traction you'll gain once you're in that place. I know what I need to do. Now, let's talk about how to get there.

Sometimes the shift is just like a snap of your fingers. It's like an optical illusion that needs to happen, where you focus your eyes in a different way. You kind of cross your eyes, and then you're able to see a different picture. But what if you weren't clear? If you were just taking your best guess, what would it be? What would the answer be? I can't tell you the brilliance that comes out of my clients’ mouths. Sometimes when I ask this, often what ultimately reveals itself is, I do know what to do. I'm just not doing it.

Maybe you don't want to do that, it's not that you didn't know. Not knowing was a convenient way to keep yourself from examining the fact that you could do it but didn't want to. Maybe you're afraid to do it. Or you don't want to be wrong or miss out or whatever.

But once you identify that, at least you now know what to work on. I know what I need to do. I need to work on that… I need to work on that fear. Once we know, we can actually make a plan and do things. You can't accomplish anything in life without some direction and focus.

It's like the GPS analogy. You know you want to go to a certain town but you don't have your GPS turned on. And so, you have two options. You either ride around aimlessly, or you just sit there. But it never pays for you to stay stuck.

Now, those of you who have been with me for a minute know that I am not just a ‘randomly throw out different actions and see what works. Just start heading out in any direction, and maybe you'll end up in New York.’ No, but you can use all of the information at your disposal to at least make your best educated hypothesis about the direction New York likely is.

But sometimes it's not just a matter of shifting your mind. For instance, you really don't know how to grow your business. Or like for us, we really don't know some things about moving to Spain. We really don't know about tax implications and visa restrictions and whether we’ll like the schools and many other things.

So, sometimes you just don't know what you don't know. And in that case, you work with someone who can help you get clear. Notice that I didn't say tell you what to do. I said, “To help you get clear.” Because, yeah, you may need additional info so you can see the full picture. But get clear on your truth, the way you want to build your uncommon business.

Everyone's business is different and built differently. There are no two people that have taken the exact same path building their business, because every one of us are different. So, we are hiring some legal, tax, and relocation people. We're not turning our life over to them to make our decisions for us, but they're going to help us clarify our choices.

When you look for a cookie-cutter template, even if you've tried to implement it perfectly, it just won't turn out the same as the thing that you were starting from, as the original model, because that template wasn't created for you and your audience and your offer.

It's like my very a wise travel loving photographer said to me. Before I got there, she asked me to browse Pinterest to get an idea for what kind of poses I'd like and what kind of shot angles I would like. But once I had them, she was basically like, “Throw it all away. It was just a clarity exercise.” My words, not hers. I'm paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it.

She said, so often people spend so much energy trying to recreate something they've seen, like the perfect Instagram pose that others have done, but it never really looks the same. Instead, they could have been putting that same energy into creating, rather than recreating. To create something new and original and unique and beautiful.

That is what Anna and I did together, my photographer. We created some beautiful art and visuals; I'm beyond excited. I can't wait for you to see them. Your business is your own work of art. Even though right now it might not feel that way. It might feel like a hot mess. It might feel like a stagnant plateau. It might feel like this runaway beast that you have no control over; depending on what stage you're at.

But by the way, the first shots Anna and I did together, they were so clunky it reminded me of a Will Ferrell movie. My husband loves comedy of any kind, and there's this movie called Talladega Nights where Will Ferrell, he gets instantly famous as a racecar driver. As he's being interviewed, he keeps doing these really awkward things with his arms and his hands.

You see him as if you're watching on a newscast, and you have this closeup of his face, but his hands keep floating up. Finally, he goes, “I'm sorry, I don't know what to do with my hands.” And, it was just like that. It was like, “I don't know what to do with my hands.”

But even that stage, that clunky stage, was me getting into me. It was finding out what I do want to do with my hands. What I do know feels like me. What does feel like something I’d do and what doesn't. That is the precursor, and the good stuff doesn't happen without it. If I had spent the whole time recreating the other poses, I wouldn't have found my way to me.

If Anna had been directing me the whole time, I wouldn't have found my way. She and I are very similar, we believe in our clients. We believe in their brilliance. Now, I never hold back giving my clients all the info, so they can decide. In fact, I'm often really broadening their minds with things they've never even thought of.

But I do not make their decisions for them. I always trust their intuition. But when I look around at the entrepreneurial space in general, I unfortunately see too many people becoming carbon copies of someone else. Maybe you're recreating the website or the way of talking or the business model, and then you cry because you don't stand out. Why aren't I standing out? Why aren't clients coming to me?

People are price shopping between you and others, and you aren't known for anything specific and you haven't stepped into your thought leadership. Or maybe you're upset that you aren't highly respected, and you know you're a good coach. But of course, you really never did the work of finding you, of finding your uncommon way.

Your business needs to become the creation you're here to create, with the ideas and opinions you're here to share, and the process and products that you're here to work with. You need to find your uncommon way or it will end up being an awkward copy of something else rather than something truly yours.

Find a group of women who can support you to be more you, rather than wanting you to conform to some kind of group think. Find a mentor who can help you clarify your path, rather than feeling insecure that you don't do it her way or his way; maybe that means that they don't know what they're doing.

Find the flashes of clarity and belief that you can lean into, that can help you shift your mind away from the very toxic and unproductive thought, “I don't know what I'm doing.” That is a position that way too many women have been conditioned to believe about themselves for far too long.

Shift into, “I know what I need to do,” at least in your next step. “I know I need to try putting my hands this way next, so I can feel into whether this is right.”

And if you need help learning to feel your intuition, learning to tap into your brilliance, and unearth your clarity, then you must join the Clarity Accelerator because it is the only program of its kind. We not only build amazing and interesting and successful businesses, but we use business as a training vehicle for our growth.

That is why my clients all experience such profound transformations. “I'm like a new person,” I hear that often, almost every day. “I'm like a new person; decisive, calm, knowing, strong, capable, powerful.” Those are the words that my clients use to describe their before and after. You can hear, if you listen, you can hear that frequency transmitting through their voices on this very podcast.

People have remarked on it to me. They're like, “Your clients are amazing. How do you find them?” And yes, they are forces of nature. And their clients are too, because they're vibrating at such a high level that it's magnetic. That confidence and that certainty, it attracts.

So, what are your next steps? Is it to hire the expert? Is it to work through the real fears holding you back so you can finally spring forward? Is it to just do the thing you've been avoiding? Or declare the thing you've been holding back from declaring” Or start moving and feeling into your intuition?

Do it. Whatever it is, do that now. Don't waste another precious moment spinning in circles. It serves no one. It certainly doesn't serve your future clients, and it doesn't serve you. Whenever we play small, on some level, we know it. And then we end up beating ourselves up about it.

So, get clear, get focused, and get into decisive, calm action, and weed out all of the extraneous crap that you don't need. Focus on the simple essentials that matter until you master them, so that you can create what you're here to create and do what you're here to do.

I think maybe I've just spoken The Uncommon Way manifesto. Dare to dream big, and dare to live your own uncommon way, in business and in life. Take responsibility for working through all the bits in your circumstances, and in your own mind, that are keeping you from walking that walk.

My friends, I wish you a week filled with insights and epiphanies, and very exciting surprises. Remember, even if it's clunky, you are heading in the right direction. You know who you are, and each day you're stepping further into what you're here to create.

Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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