Ep #60: An Uncommon Guide to Maximizing Your Results in Any Coaching Program

Episode Summary

Jenna the key components you need to maximize your results within any coaching program.

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Show Notes

Have you ever wondered why some people get great results from a program and others in that very same program don't? Would you like to know how you can be the person who's getting the great results rather than the mediocre kind? This week’s episode will show you how.

We can be really hard on ourselves when it comes to our results, but the more we believe in our vision, the more likely we are to transform within any coaching program we are part of. This week, I share some of the highlights I’ve learned and discovered along the way regarding results and show you how to amplify your own.

Learn the key components you need to maximize your results within any coaching program. Discover how to support your coaching by taking responsibility, forming a community, and leveraging time, and how to open yourself to think bigger, grow more, and expand to your greatest entrepreneurial expression yet.

 

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

  • How to get amazing results from any coaching program.

  • Why you need to take personal responsibility and how to do so.

  • How to decide whether private coaching or group coaching is more appropriate for your needs.

  • Why continuing what works is so important. 

  • Why it takes time to assimilate new ideas.

  • Why my clients get such amazing results and how the same is possible for you.

 

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Full Episode Transcript:

Have you ever wondered why some people get great results from a program and others in that very same program don't? And would you like to know how you can be the person who's getting the great results rather than the “I mean, I think it helped me,” kind of results? We are going to get you there today.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach, and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Welcome back to The Uncommon Way, everyone. We are currently enjoying beautiful weather here in central Pennsylvania. I hope that you are not stuck in a heat dome at the moment. Of course, we were just watching, with dismay and amazement, so many of the weather patterns that are happening around us, and we certainly experienced it when we were in Spain.

Right here, we seem to be in a little bubble. We have this inverse effect going on where normally our August are just the hot and muggy and bug ridden, and now we're having weather in the 70s. It feels pretty ideal, and I am loving it.

My son Dylan has started kindergarten. My team and I are getting back into the workflow after the slightly chaotic and travel heavy summer that I've had. Specifically, we've got a retreat focus going on; just shoring up those final details for the Clarity Collective retreat that's happening in Mexico in October.

Along those lines, we were having a conversation in our Clarity Collective call the other day, where I asked everyone if they had an intention for the next quarter coming up, the next three months of fall. The first woman who spoke said that she was just looking forward to routine. She just was looking forward to this steady routine to really continue with the work.

I said that's really how I'm feeling, and someone else in the collective said, “That's exactly what I'm looking forward to. I just really am looking for this maintenance and this maintaining. It's going to feel amazing.” I found this so interesting, because I very clearly remember a time in my life where fall was very much about that hyper productive energy.

I would just feel so energized this time of year when the weather started to turn cooler. After the times in summer, where maybe I’d been kicking back more and just feeling the heat and the lethargy. September would roll around, and I would just wake up again. I'd have so many great plans, all these things I wanted to do.

I don't know if this is just a sign of the times, that we are all very overloaded and just generally trying to do way too much and cram way too much in, and that's why we're feeling this way. You'll have to let me know your take on this.

But if you are feeling like a lot of us, and maybe you are looking at your business and thinking about what is next, and what is the right container to support the place that I want to be, the place that I want to go with my business. Where you really are kind of looking at just buckling down, and perhaps working with a coach or joining a coaching program in order to create your results better and easier.

I know for a lot of you when you start thinking that way, then the next set of thoughts is: How do I choose the right one? Will I really get the results that I'm hoping for, or will I beat myself up about it later? This episode is directly, specifically, for you, my friends. Because you have seen how some people in programs do get great results, but others not so much.

If you think about it, it's sort of like when you are in college, or high school, whatever. Some people in that class will get A's and others will get D's or F's. Yet, there's the same teacher or the same professor teaching all of them. So, what accounts for all that? Well, I am the person that my coaches usually invite on to their podcasts or feature on their testimonials page because of the results I get in their program.

Today, I want to peel back the curtain on all of that and let you know what has created that for me, because it definitely wasn't always the case. So, I'm going to share some of the highlights of what I've learned and discovered along the way, so that you can amplify your own results this year.

Because the entire world benefits when women get better results; their families benefit, their communities, their clients. It is such a virtuous cycle, and I want you to understand more fully why my clients get such amazing results. How they are so quickly able to transform and then step into such decisive, grounded, focused, calm leadership in their minds first, and then in their companies.

It's because they learn this skill set of creating great results when they're getting coached. It's just like a muscle you build. I'll be breaking down some of those key components, so that you can apply it for yourself. If you are, maybe, on the fence, wondering about whether you should go with private coaching versus group coaching, I'm going to be addressing that too.

This is a very meaty episode today, it's a one of the longer ones. So, strap in. You'll probably want to listen to it two or three times, because there are going to be some very new concepts in here for some of you. And so, in order for that to sink in, you'll probably need some repetition. Just speed up the playback to 1 ½, or whatever you're comfortable with, to shorten the time, put it on, and enjoy.

All right, first of all, you have got to choose a style or a philosophy that feels aligned. Alignment is the assignment, after all. But also, we want to make things as easy as possible for our brains when we can. So, this is a concept that I'm going to refer to several times throughout this episode. We'll just give it a name right now, so that we can get back to it quickly.

Let's call it “brain honey.” Because I'm thinking of that saying, “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,” and that's the same concept. When we have the opportunity to make something much easier for ourselves, then do it, lean into it. As you learn more and more about how the brain actually works, you can use this to your advantage over and over again in different ways.

You can find out how to get the brain working for you. Like, when you know a child will resist bath time because of course, the child is having fun playing Legos, he doesn't want to take a bath… Ask me how I know. So, you say something like, “Are you going to take a bath or a shower now?” Because when the shower is what feels best, and it feels like it's their idea and something they can get on board with, the transition is so much easier.

In business, it's the same. You're creating change in your brain every time you sign up for coaching or any kind of business development program. That is hard enough. There will already be resistance in your brain on some level, so the last thing you want is more resistance.

The truth is that every business building method can work if you work at it. You’ve just got to get in there and do the work, on yourself, on your skill set, on your clarity about your offer, your people's wants and needs, your secret sauce, and your zone of genius. So, do that in a place where you're leaning in as much as possible.

There's a tendency, and it's very natural, to say, “Well, I'm weak in this area, so I need to go get slapped around, basically.” Or, “I need to really work with a different kind of coach that complements me,” meaning, they’re way different than me.

I was there myself. The first coach that I ever worked with was someone that I perceived to be super analytical. Very quantitatively oriented, where we were just going to dig into all the little micro adjustments we could make; into a Facebook funnel to look at all the email open rate percentages and all of the link click percentages. We were just going to dial all of these numbers in.

I moved towards that because I thought I was a very big picture thinker and I needed somebody that could help me with my huge perceived weakness. But what I found out is that I flourish, and my business flourishes, so much more when I'm with coaches where I can also lean into the somatic, the body based, practices and the spiritual aspects of my business too.

Am I tuning into my nervous system so that I'm actually tapping into my highest creativity? Or am I falling back into hustle mentality, becoming less productive and missing clues left and right, and ignoring and dismissing my intuition?

I do much, much better when I'm taking a holistic approach to business building. And my clients are exactly the same. Now, it's very rare to find somebody that is coaching in that style and addressing all of those different needs, but it is what I look for now that I know.

So, you might be a person who only wants the quantitative. Or you only want somebody that is talking about your thoughts and your mindset. Or someone who's only talking about the energetics and the “woo.” So, a holistic approach wouldn't really work for you. It would have you going in thought loops because it really doesn't apply to you.

Yeah, maybe that person hit a huge financial goal because they tapped into their intuition, but maybe it's really just because they write really good copy, dammit. All of those thoughts will be slowing you down. Not that you'll never have those thoughts, but you want minimize them. It's the equivalent of yelling at your child, “Put down the Legos and get into this bath, now!” It just won't be the favorable experience that you're envisioning.

Now, small caveat here, there is a time and place for stretching into your growth edge. But when you do that, you want to be in the energy of ‘I really want to see what this is all about. Maybe there's something to it.’ Versus, ‘This other shit hasn't worked, so I guess I need to try this. But it better get me my results.’

All right, the second thing you want to think about is to take personal responsibility for your results, not to outsource them to your coach, and to really focus on the long game. So, back to that professor analogy. It's highly likely that the students getting the best grades are the ones that are taking advantage of office hours and doing extra credit reading, or have built a skill set for themselves of being able to study very quickly and productively, and to retain information.

When you make only yourself responsible for your results, you will see such a dramatic increase in what you're able to accomplish. On my intake form, when people are inquiring about working with me, I say right up front, “The right candidates are resourceful, and they want to learn to figure things out for themselves, with coaching support. Why is this attractive to you?”

This is the same way of thinking behind why I encourage my clients early on, to think of coaching as an operating expense rather than an investment. You invest in infrastructure, right? You're building a bridge, you hire the contractor to build it, the bridge is done.

If you come into coaching thinking you're outsourcing the building of your company to someone else, you're never going to see the results you want. Because nobody but you can build the bridge, my friend. A coach can help you figure out what you want the bridge to look like, your best practices for sourcing materials, etc., etc., but you need to build it.

If anyone tells you they'll build your business for you, you might want to ask them why they're not as rich as Elon Musk, because they've obviously uncovered the best business in the world. They're printing money for other people, and then those people can just sit back and continue to rely on it for the rest of their lives. It just doesn't exist.

But when you think of your support as an operating expense; a smart, ongoing expenditure that is not indulgent, not something shameful that you shouldn't have to pay for if you were smart enough to figure it out on your own…

When you shift away from that toxic thinking, and instead decide that you will always be prioritizing the growth of your mind and the shoring up of your mind because it is your most valuable resource… When you believe in the future success of what you're building so much that you're willing to play that long game, you step into a new sense of power and of seriousness about what you're doing?

You start thinking differently, acting differently, showing up differently, because how you see yourself is different. Then, what gets reflected out is different, and the results you see coming back to you are different. This is key to the success for many, many very successful entrepreneurs, CEOs, athletes, my coaches, me.

This is what I believe has allowed me to build this business, is that I never stopped getting support. I never said, “Oh, this is good enough, I don't need support now.” I was always interested in continuing to grow, and continuing to collapse my timeline for my growth.

When you think of your support as an operating expense, you also avoid pitfalls that you might otherwise encounter that really set you back. So, instead of falling back, you're falling forward. Let's say you're thinking of it as an investment, you get the immediate result that you were hoping for, and then you think, “I'm good, right? Why do I need to continue?”

So, you stop working with a coach. Or maybe you context switch into another program with a mentor who doesn't know you as well now. Then something happens in your business, and the business owner isn't prepared to handle that thing yet, and so it actually sets them back.

I have a client who's an acupuncturist. She said, part of the problem is retention for her, because she does help people get results and then they think, “Okay, I'm good,” and they go off. Maybe later they come back and they have to redo so much of the work that they'd been doing in order to get them back; get their body back into its aligned state again.

It's funny, because another Clarity Collective member piped up and she said, “Oh, my gosh, you're calling me out. Because I was going to acupuncture and I stopped going, and I've been having problems.” I realized that when things are going well that's the sign to continue with what got you there, rather than stopping.

To put this in other business terms, I have a client who really got amazing results with me the first time we worked together. She just couldn't really imagine what was next, why we would continue working together, why she would continue with that operating expense. But she decided to go forward with it, and what ended up happening was that she got to a place where all of a sudden, her main client, the higher-ups, weren't even sure they were even going to continue with that line in their business anymore.

She might have lost everything. She had a couple of tough conversations that she needed to have with people much higher up than the one she had been working with. She was feeling very, very nervous about it. We're talking about hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars on the line here. Just imagine if she had not had the support, and had really been kind of spinning into worst case scenario as she was showing up with those calls.

What we actually identified was that this was an opportunity for her to create even better clients of those same people she'd been working with. To get even the higher-ups to really back this project, and really lend support to it and understand their own roles and responsibilities in its success; a lot like coaching.

And so, in standing her ground and calling on her clients to actually rise up to even a higher level of investment and engagement, she had the opportunity to earn even more money and to have a much more favorable experience working with these clients. Or even to separate now rather than later, before she's months in and realizes that these people were never going to be committed to their results.

These are the kinds of things that you can't even foresee that will come up in your business, and you want to have support when they do. So again, taking personal responsibility for your results, and taking that long-term approach.

I actually have an episode on this, it's Episode 43, called “How to Win at the Game of Entrepreneurship.” If you want more about thinking long term as an entrepreneur, and how to actually do that.

Okay, I'd like to move on to number three. But before we do, if you're noticing a difference in my voice, which you may or may not, I have to tell you the funniest thing.

I actually paused the recording right before this, and then an entire day has transpired during which my son was coming down with a cold, and then woke up in the middle of the night with this cough that sounded like a seal. Apparently, it's called croup, and it has to do with a constriction of the airways. Which would be unsettling for anybody of course, but definitely for a five-year-old. So, we were up for a large portion of the night.

I'm telling you this just because I think it's keeping it real, right? It's so important for us all to remind each other we're all real women, living real lives with ups and downs, and making real moves in our business. So, that said, when you're looking to maximize your results, you need to decide to be the best coachee that you can be.

That doesn't mean that you lose all autonomy and you stop thinking for yourself. But are you keeping an open mind? Are you hungry to get out of your way? Do you actually want to have different ways of seeing your own mind and your own habits and your own ways of doing things? I pointed that out to you so that you can decide if there's room for change, and so that you can gain visibility on something you might not have seen before.

Are you willing to try on new thoughts and new ways of doing things that may not feel perfectly comfortable at first? Are you willing to sit with that long enough to see if maybe it's something you want to grow into? Do you really listen to coaching calls? The brain is amazing at how it will only let in the information that it's ready to receive in that moment. That's why it's important to re-listen to coaching calls.

I have a client now; she is so good about this. She will go back to podcast episodes from six months ago and every time she does, she says, “Oh my gosh, I am just now really absorbing this in such a completely different way.” I'll have clients do the same thing with coaching calls.

I only figured this out, by the way, because once, I was going to a mastermind retreat, and I was reviewing my notes for the year in preparation for meeting up with my coach. I saw that the last conversation that we had just had was pretty much repeated in my notes from almost a year ago.

There's no shame in this, it really is just that our brains need to open themselves, to assimilate, and to then take on new ideas; be reminded of new ideas, integrate new ideas. You can facilitate that. You can accelerate your timeline when you repeat new things to yourself again and again.

One of my greatest personal accelerators is to treat the world as my classroom. So, when I invest with a coach, that is my way of signaling to myself, and my universe, what I want to change or accomplish or transform. But I don't expect it all to come from that container. I know that once I've opened that portal, if I open my eyes and listen, I'm going to receive lessons and learnings all around me.

I'm going to come across that podcast episode that really speaks to me, or explains something in a different way. And that podcast episode might come from a completely different teacher. Or maybe I'll have a conversation with a friend. Or maybe I'll have some event in my life that has nothing to do with business, but absolutely drives home the lesson that I need to learn in my business too.

And so, when you can keep yourself open like that, and be looking for your lessons all around, just think about how much you'll be able to accelerate results. Because you're not just getting it from one place, on a call once a week, or every time you hop into that Facebook group, you are 24/7… it’s going to sound intense to some people. But if you’re a transformation junkie like me, maybe it'll sound great, right? But you, 24/7, are open to whatever needs to happen.

It doesn't mean that you're constantly in a state of needing to be somewhere you're not. It just means that you're talking, listening, and you're looking for it. There is a podcast that I did with my client, Lindy Schmidt, where we were talking about this, because she's very much like me.

She was going to all different resources, and every time we'd get back on a call, she'd be like, “I had this epiphany! Oh, my gosh, I had this thing… This happened to me… I got this download.” I'm the exact same way when I talk with my coaches. It's like, “Oh, what happened? What we were talking about last week? That's so last week, this is where I am now.”

That is really when you start, not just taking responsibility for your actions and your change, but you start sourcing the transformation and the change from everywhere, right? You can't help but become the kind of person that stands out for their results in a group.

Another thing I recommend is to set high goals for yourself. Yes, set high goals for yourself. Except in certain circumstances, but we're not going to go into those right now. But tend to set high goals for yourself, and then don't just push those goals aside and not think about them, but relentlessly evaluate:

Why did this work? Why am I moving towards that? Why am I not moving towards that as quickly as I thought? So that you can learn and grow. We all tend to want to avoid the discomfort of failure, and so we refrain from making goals. Or once when we make the goal, then we really put it aside and we don't think about it anymore, in case we fail, right?

We don't think about it until we've reached that number, for instance, and then we get to celebrate it. But if not, we weren't really thinking about it anyway. But what if you could decide to 5x your investment every time you invest? This is what I tell my clients to set their sights on.

Because the only thing standing between you and setting your sights on high goals are the feelings that you're going to have about yourself, the thoughts you're going to have about yourself, and the way your nervous system is going to react. And so, if you can use those goals as a training ground for all of those things, then you may be able to reach and accomplish goals that are much more exciting than you ever even dreamed.

Now, if you're evaluating carefully, then you'll start to notice when your results are not matching up with your projected goals, and that is the time when you really want to ask your coach whatever you don't understand, whatever isn't clicking for you, and let them know where you're getting stuck.

Again, this is kind of going back to that professor analogy. Are you going to be the person that kind of hides away or disappears? Or are you going to be the client that shows up for it? I want my clients to help me work hard. I love finding out what could I explain even better, right? What could I transmit to them even more clearly, and succinctly? They give me an opportunity whenever they come to me with a question.

At the same time, are you answering your own questions first? So, when you say, “I don't think I'm really getting this,” you're saying, “Here's what I'm hearing… Here's what I'm interpreting… Is it maybe that you mean X…” and then let your coach respond from there. Or, “I'd like to do X in my business now. I'm thinking this will be the way to create that, for X-Y-Z reasons. Do you see anything that I'm missing?”

This is a critical skill. It's something that most of my clients don't come in with immediately. It's something that I help them ease into, because I know that it will benefit them so greatly to really start doing the thinking for themselves. Because figuring things out for yourself is how you learn to grow your entrepreneurial chops.

If you go to your coach saying ‘what's the answer?’ with no forethought, your coach's brain gets stronger at solving entrepreneurial problems, but yours doesn’t, right? You want your brain to grow. When you do this consistently, you can shift into the space of not needing a coach. Not needing a coat.

I want all of my clients to not need a coach, but to want a coach, right? You want a coach because it accelerates your results, and because it stretches you beyond your glass ceiling. But you don't want to have to be dependent on a coach.

So, all of my clients, after one round of the Accelerator, have the fundamentals they need in business, in mind management, in understanding how to accomplish the goals they set and the results they want in life to be successful on their own.

And then, if they choose to continue working with me, it's so that they can accelerate results, avoid pitfalls, and detours; all the things, right? Continue to stretch. Those really are the kinds of programs you want to look for, that are going to facilitate your long-term growth.

You want a place where your coach has high expectations of you and everyone else. Where you're believed to be fully capable, resourceful, smart, intuitively guided, so that you can rise to that occasion, and then surround yourself with others who are also moving through the world in that way.

Speaking of which, let's talk about the fourth thing. Surrounding yourself with like-minded peers is crucial. This is true for whether you're doing private coaching or whether you're doing group coaching. One of the biggest mistakes that I see people make is they decide private coaching must be best because of their own beliefs about how more time equals better results, or things that cost more have to bring better results.

And so, they go into private coaching, but they don't bother to also develop a strong peer network. What they don't realize is that the brain is a tricky thing. Because when your coach goes, “You’re amazing! You could totally do this,” the old negativity bias kicks in. This is something we all have. It's wired into our brains thanks to how we've evolved.

And you end up thinking, “Oh, she's just saying that.” Kind of like when your mom tells you, “You're definitely the smartest girl,” you dismiss it. Of course, she's saying that, she's my mom, or she's my best friend or she's my coach. Right?

When you're stretching yourself into new territory and you're creating new beliefs, you need a preponderance of evidence. You need to be hearing it from your coach and as many others as possible. Your coach is saying, “Yes, you can make $100,000. You can make $1 million.” And your peers are saying, “Yes, you can make $100,000. You can make $1 million.” And every podcast you listen to is saying, “Yes, you can make $100,000. You can make $1 million.”

And then, slowly, your brain will start to relax its disbelief. You'll notice yourself thinking, “Well, maybe it's possible for me.” And then, “I see how it could be possible for me. It is possible.” And eventually, you'll move on to, “Hold on, it's very probable. If I keep going, it's definitely going to happen. I mean, my friends are all doing it. So, I will get there.”

I remember I had a private client who had a goal of making $10,000 in a day. And so, I would suggest that she go out and make $10,000. But what I noticed over time, is that when we would meet back up, week after week, she either had kind of put that goal aside, or we would be talking through her disbelief on reaching that goal.

She was a person who was not choosing to attend to the Clarity Collective calls. I knew that if she were in that group, sourcing evidence from that group, not only would it have been evidence from her peers that it was possible, but it would also have been brainstorming ideas.

It would have been helping her see what she wasn't seeing about the value she was bringing, and how absolutely that would be a no-brainer offer for so many people.” Not at the 10k price point necessarily, but in ways that she had to create that money if she wanted to.

That is what I do not want for you. I want you to definitely rely on a group, even if you are in a private coaching situation. So that you can take advantage of, again, its brain honey, right? So, you can take advantage of the way your brain works. Get your brain working for you rather than against you. Because otherwise it is a drag on your results, every time. So, don't isolate yourself.

This is why both of my programs offer a group component. My programs, they're actually very similar. It's not that one is better in an absolute sense. It's only, which is better for you? Both offer a hybrid of group and private coaching. Because I've been doing this for seven years now, I've seen what really does create results for clients; groups are critical.

Both of my programs are the same length of time. The group, the people you get to interact with, are the same. It's not like if you enter at this lower price point, you're interacting with these people. But if you come into my higher price point, you get to interact with these people. That's not how we do it at The Uncommon Way.

That is a very, very unusual thing in the business coaching space. There are lots of things that are unusual about my programs. But that's me being true to The Uncommon Way ethos. Because I believe on creating really unique offers that make sense to you and make sense for your clients.

What is important to me, is that I keep the group very high level, filled with like-minded women, because that is how you truly mastermind. It’s that meeting of minds, that the group being better than the individual, the coming together, and the amplification. I don't love the name “mastermind;” we call our group the Collective. But it gets to be whatever you call it.

It has to be a place where you can be encouraged and supported and challenged, too. Again, it's one thing if your coach has high expectations for you. It's another if all of your peers do, too. We were on a call the other day and there was one person who was voicing some insecurities.

This is obviously, definitely, the place where you can really show up and allow yourself to be vulnerable. But to the tee, every single other person in the group was surprised by that. They were able to reflect back to her what they see in her. They were able to challenge her to step up into seeing herself that way, and to projecting herself that way.

That is a beautiful thing, my friends. All humans, but especially women, are wired for community. Our ancestors gathered together, they raised children together, they sang and danced and laughed and prayed together. Humans are pack animals. Fulfillment, and even longevity, skyrockets when people have strong personal networks; more than financial wealth or any other marker.

This is why reviews and social proof drives so much of our economy. Because our belief is so much higher when somebody “like” us is experiencing something; and that's positive or negative.

We also benefit from having something repeated over and over. So, whether that's just how people talk, and you're around it and you're hearing it over and over. Or if it's different voices, describing it in different ways, telling it with their own spin on their own story, or how it actually applied to them, how it worked in real life.

Or if you're watching someone get coached on something that maybe you've already even been coached on. But you gain so much by being in an objective space and being able to look at it from afar, that is sinking in for you, as well. It's as if you're getting coached because your brain is in a more receptive, open place when you're just watching someone else get coached.

That is reinforcing those new neural pathways for you. You don't even have to lift a finger; you're just sitting there and watching. But obviously, if you want to amplify your results even more, you should lift a finger. And here's what you can do, you can teach it. It's one thing to hear it, it is another entirely to teach it.

That's one of the big reasons that I have different women in this group; with all different types of businesses, all different levels of business, and all different life experiences. Because as they're learning and growing, they're teaching others that haven't yet integrated that belief. And in so doing, they are reinforcing it for themselves.

There are so many ways that you can take advantage of the groups; you can meet up for coffee chats one to one, you can do peer brainstorming, you can go to ‘in-person retreats’ to develop those bonds. Yes, it's fantastic to have a two or three or five or ten brains, working on your behalf, working on that specific issue in your business, but also developing the friendship and the emotional bonds.

We'll do all that background work for you, of seeing yourself as one of these people. These women who build successful businesses, who build successful six-figure or seven- figure businesses and make a lot of money… but money isn't everything… who do business differently.

They aren't afraid to walk their own path and create new things. Women who are creating more honest, conscious, and healthy ways of being in their business. Who do have full and interesting lives outside of business. Who have businesses that are highly purpose driven. Where it's okay to tune into your intuition, but also have the highest level of mind management and practical, proven, business tactics that all allow you to show up so competently, so resiliently, and to make bold moves.

You become one of those people who does those things, and then it's easy to act like one of those people. At least, those are the Clarity Collective values, right? Every group is different. But bottom line, when you establish those social bonds, it's much easier. It's almost automatic to become like the group.

We had another member in one of our hot seats the other day on a Collective call. She was talking about how she's been offered a job to be a CEO of another company. It’s very tempting for her, it would give her a lot of the accolades. She's under 30, and she'd be the CEO of a company. There would be money involved, there would be options, there would be… There are all of these great things, on paper, that would lead her to do that.

Yet, she is actually feeling pulled to build her own business, to stay with what she's building here, even though on paper it doesn't look as successful as the other opportunity. Again, everyone in the group was helping her build her belief in why that is the choice for her.

They were giving her so many other ways to think of it, that actually made it seem like it would make total sense for her to choose that option. I just love it. I love that you can have people together and develop kind of a culture and a way of thinking, where in any other group, she may be getting completely different feedback. Yet, in this one, the values are so aligned that everybody is like, “Yes, do you! Do that.”

Once you are a Clarity Collective member, you're always one. In the sense that once you have understood and really integrated our philosophy, then you can't unsee it. It makes me want to have alumni parties or something, because I'm still so connected. So many of us are connected to past members of the group.

I know, certainly in my own masterminds, I still have strong bonds with certain members of my groups. These are just the gifts that keep on giving. Also, when I'm meeting with new clients, that helps me screen for ‘What will amplify this group? What will add to this group?’ Because I am very mama tiger about the energy flowing through that.

It is for people who are very committed, and leaning in to creating this new way of being, and creating their business in their way. And so, I only make offers to people that are down with that vision. And also, of course, that I believe will get great results.

So again, this is an opportunity to use this brain honey concept to your advantage, right? We know that, for better or for worse, unfortunately, the brain really wants to become part of a bigger group, right? That's actually what so much of the divide in society and around the world is, right now. It's this exact propensity for us to take on and absorb the thoughts of others around us.

Knowing that, choose consciously. Choose who you want to surround yourself with. I want to surround myself with these kinds of people. I want to help my brain more easily create this kind of self-concept and this identity. I want to be around people who have high expectations of me. I want to be around the women who will rise to my high expectations of them, and rise to that occasion.

I want to be with people who aren't judging my capability based on what is currently happening in my life, or what I've done in the past, but from my potential. What are you capable of? We see your brilliance. We see what's possible for you. You can't hide from us. True friends will tell you some hard truths, and call you out when you're playing small.

And in order to really juice that for all it's worth, you need to create some level of safety, on purpose, about being there and receiving. That can come from your participation in the calls, it can come from the one-on-one calls that you set up with your group members, and it’s definitely amplified with in-person retreats.

I remember, I was having a conversation with a client who was unsure about going to the retreats. She was trying to ask me what exactly are we going to be working on while we were there. Like, “How is this going to move my business forward?” I was like, “Oh, no, that is going to blow you away.” But this is not just about that. Right?

During those days, you get to get out of your day-to-day environment. You get your creative juices flowing. You get to relax your nervous system in this wellness resort, eat that hyper fresh cuisine from those Michelin starred chefs, get your massages, do breathwork rituals and cacao ceremonies, and all the good things.

But this is so much about what's happening behind the scenes. It's about you developing true friendships so that all of this can be working for you. And, who are you when you allow it for yourself? When you're the woman who goes on business retreats and travels like this, accepts regenerative time is important, believes that this stimulates creativity and enhances of her work in the world?

I can so clearly see how the shifts in my business correspond to the groups I chose to make myself a part of. In my first mastermind, I remember seeing people getting amazing results. I realized that prior to that, I really thought that things would just take time. And seeing the evidence of things not taking time blew me away.

I remember the first time I went on a business retreat. I traveled to a business retreat, and it felt so serious. It felt like, “Okay, I am seriously doing the damn thing now, you all. Because I'm flying to New York on a plane, staying in a hotel, and walking to a conference space. Hell yes.”

I remember the first time I went on a retreat that was to a wonderful destination, and had kind of a relaxation component to it. That was a trip to Morocco that we took. It was also a time where I not only allowed that, but I gave my work in the world equal importance with motherhood. They became both forms of my work and my self-expression. I'm not a mom who just fits in some business activities on the side, right?

I had paid lip service to this in the past, that I wasn't just one thing, but I had never fully integrated it. That was evidenced by how I was acting in the decisions I was making. Which is, of course, very normal that we go through this; we've been conditioned. We're probably carrying some ancestral patterning around it.

But when you notice yourself in kind of a black-and-white thinking, where ‘I'm either a mom first, I'm either a good mom, or I'm this cold, hard business person,’ and you open yourself to ‘why can't I be both, a mom and a business person? A wealthy entrepreneur and a good person?’ That’s another dichotomy that we see frequently.

That's when you start to reflect on how the way you've been thinking about yourself has really been driving decisions that don't serve you; A, and don't even necessarily serve the people around you. It all happens very subtly and often subconsciously.

But breaking out of that often requires you to see it being modeled for you. Seeing women who are amazing moms, who are also making moves in their businesses, and growing to six or seven figures, or whatever their interest is.

Again, I remember other masterminds where women were making much more money than I had been used to in the groups that I was in, and that was really helpful for me and my self-concept. I remember masterminds and retreats where it was safer for me to be “woo,” and lean into intuition and be able to say, “This is the direction I'm going with my business,” for no, zero logic, on paper, reason but because this is the next expression moving through me.

So many shifts are directly related to the decisions I made about putting myself into specific rooms.

Another very important way to get results, and this is something that we find out a little bit later for most of us but it's, choose to be a leader. Again, you'll need a network for this. By the way, a network doesn't have to be a paid group, although that can be a smart way to do it because someone else has put in the time, the energy, the marketing budget, to curating a group of great women that you can connect with.

But you can also do it for yourself. You can find people who are as committed as you with aligned values, and then invite them to all meet together regularly. But once you are in there, choose to show up as a leader.

Offer to help people. Start discussions if there's a Facebook group, or if there's a Slack channel. Initiate get togethers. Show up. Lend support. Be vulnerable, sharing your own losses and wins to help others feel safe to do the same. All of this benefits you and it benefits the rest of the group.

You're developing your character, right? Because true leadership isn't something you really turn on and off. It is how you are, it's how you move through the world, and you are going to need the leadership in every aspect of your business; creating safety to buy and a way forward for your clients, your thought leadership, leading your team to carry out your vision. So, what better place to develop that leadership than in a group that offers that kind of safety?

It's like your own laboratory, where you can practice being seen. You can practice taking up space, sharing ideas, coming up with new ideas, and just growing your leadership chops.

Too many of us become so inward focus that we think, “What's in it for me? Unless I'm in a room where everyone's more advanced than me, then I don't want to participate. Oh, if it's not convenient for my schedule, then I don't want to participate if it causes me any discomfort. If I'm shy and I struggle with self-worth or financial discomfort… If I'm going to have to get up early, etc., then I don't want to participate.”

But think about the irony here. You're growing a business that will add something to the world, for the world. And yet, in the growing of your business you're so focused on yourself. How about closing that divide? And to clarify, I am not suggesting that you should devote half of your working hours to group participation.

In fact, some of you do that just to hide out from growing your business. You spend all day in the Facebook group or having coffee chats to avoid having to do the things that feel scary, and feel the feelings that you're resisting. That's not going to get you the results you want, either.

But you can create valuable impact in your world, in your group and your network, without having to be there all day. With getting that one download while you're walking your dog, and then just immediately sharing it with them, rather than holding it back.

And by the way, ask me how I know about both of these; about completely peacing out of the group, or spending all your time in the group to avoid other things. I have absolutely been there.

Again, I just want to help you with everything I've learned because now I'm in a place where I would never join a program that didn't have a group component. I'm always looking to amplify my results, and I've seen the power of a group to decondition my limiting beliefs and help me become more of the CEO I want to become; and it just feels better, dammit.

I'm so grateful for the amazing women I know, and how often I've turned to them, leaned on them, how they’ve supported me, how I've learned from them, and how they've given me their best practices that they've learned with other coaches.

Whenever you are teaching somebody or helping somebody else, giving them a leg up, I mentioned before, that you get to teach them. That you get to integrate that for yourself more fully. But also, you get to see how far you've come and where you aren't anymore.

That is truly important, for us to recognize our own progress. Because we don't naturally do it. We don't tend to do it. The brain will always focus on what we haven't done yet, and where we should have been by now. It's such a gift and an opportunity to be able to say, “I was there, too. Here's how I then started thinking about it, and what changed for me. Here's how I got out of that situation. Here's how I handled my Facebook ads account getting shut down. Here's what I suggest...”

You get to reflect, “Damn, they figured that out. The ‘old’ me would have thought of it that way. The ‘new’ me thinks of it this way.” I could go on and on about the benefits of groups, but this is already running long.

So, I'm going to move on to the final point, which is understand what true results are. True results are growth and transformation that leave you better prepared and more likely to continue creating the life you want in the future.

Now, that's very different than… How many of you think of results? For a lot of you, even though you say money's not everything in your life, money is everything. How much has my business brought in? What is my monetary ROI on this investment? Now, not to shame anyone, because my own brain offers me up those old thoughts and I have to redirect it.

I mean, we have been conditioned to believe that money is directly tied to our security, that it’s our only security, really. And even though very few of you are actually at a subsistence level, that patterning runs deep. You might even be carrying ancestral trauma, who knows?

So, survival is a primary need, and biology is driving you to bring in more and more. But luckily, we have an advanced reasoning part of our brain that can help us see that right now we don't have the same survival insecurity that our ancestors did, and actually, money isn't everything for us.

Balancing our lifestyle, creating strong bonds, taking care of our bodies, relaxing our nervous systems, finding fulfillment, doing work that truly matters to us, there are so many more results to create in your business growth containers than money.

Of course, many of us also carry guilt over almost any business expenditure. We're so afraid of making a “bad” financial decision that you can only live with yourself if there's an immediate monetary ROI. And if your business is profitable from day one, even though really that is an exception in the business world, not the rule, most successful businesses leverage debt strategically.

Now, I'm not saying all of this because I don't help my clients get financial results. Great financial results often go hand in hand with holistic business results. I've helped clients that spent years trying to get to $10k months, finally get to $10k months after just a couple of months. I've helped people create greater levels of profitability than ever before. I've helped people create their first $100k business, their first seven-figure business.

But what I'm saying is that you need to expand your ideas about results, because there is so much more in life and in your business. So many skills that you'll need to build, and so much resilience, aka mental toughness, also known as mental cha-chas, if you're in my world. So much of that to build, so much unpatterning and unraveling of beliefs and mindset that keep you from your greatest potential.

When you make decisions about your next growth edge based solely on the quickest financial return, you're short changing yourself. Let's say I came to you and said, “I'm going to build you a Facebook funnel that will bring in $10,000 months,” or $30,000 months; whatever you want. And then I do it, I start selling water to people in the desert and they buy, but you still need to deliver on those results.

Can you handle all those clients? Can you manage the team and the back end? What about when you realize those clients are actually a total pain in the ass? Can you pivot your messaging to draw in a different type of person? Or you decide you're just sick of helping people with that service, and you feel so unmotivated that you start distracting yourself with the dust bunnies under your sofa?

What about when the market changes? Which it will. People move away from Meta and they go to TikTok or to some new platform. Or people decide that water is passé and they want something else. Do you have the skills to pivot? Do you understand how to dig deep within to find what really moves you long term, and create an offer that people will bang down your door for? And get to understand your people so well that you can articulate the value of your offer with ease?

Can you weather the storm during recessions, or a team member who suddenly leaves? Or if you get a sudden influx of business and cash, can your nervous system handle it? Or will you spin out and self-sabotage?

It is a beautiful thing that building a business requires so much growth, because it's the greatest personal development, and maybe even spiritual journey, if you let yourself go there, that you'll ever experience. So, in that spirit, give yourself credit for the results that you are creating in so many different realms of your business and your psyche.

Open yourself to what you're achieving every day. Because what this generation of women is accomplishing is truly extraordinary. It is groundbreaking. It is glass ceiling shattering. If you're trying to wrap your brain around what I'm talking about here, I really recommend that you check out Episode 55.

We just released it as a ‘most valuable episode’ because my clients and audience have said that it was so valuable. But it's called “Setting Uncommon Goals and Taking Uncommon Actions. I'll give you one snippet from there that you can walk away with today, which is, if you look back on this point in your business journey, what was this time all about for you, really? What do you want it to be about?

Is this when you finally broke with hustle culture? Or is it that you learned to become comfortable with sales? Or become the woman who actually accomplishes the to-dos that she says she's going to accomplish? Just think about how those skills, and so many others, will benefit you over the lifetime of your business.

How it will ripple out into other areas of your life, and what will that mean for your revenue in the long term. Now, if what really is calling to you, is to set a goal that says ‘this is the time in my life when I really leaned in and reached that revenue goal,’ that one that seemed elusive, then more power to you. I love me some financial goals. I love supporting my clients who want to achieve them, as long as they aren't discounting or railroading over all of their other grows.

Okay, my friends, that is it for today. If you are looking for your right group to join, and you want to take your business to the next level, and are committed to doing so, then it's worth it for us to talk about whether the Clarity Accelerator is right for you.

We have our retreat coming up in October; it is going to be amazing. So, there is no better time to join us then right now. And I mean, now. You need to get on my books for this week, if it would be possible for us to enroll you and get you the information for attendance in time.

I have a very limited amount... I think I have one or two openings in the week after this is due to be released. Those might have filled out by the time you listen to this. If so, shoot me an email, and I'll see if I can work you in.

Regardless of where you go next in your business, I wish you so much success. Remember, you know who you are, and every day you're stepping further into what you're here to create.

Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #59: Behind the Scenes of Our Upcoming Retreat (Dos and Don'ts of Retreat Planning)