If it were that simple, we’d all be driving Ferraris

Are you sick of people telling you that if you just believed harder, everything would turn out? Or that all you need to do is repeat affirmations or change the way you think?

If so, you might have felt (rightly) defensive a couple of weeks ago when I said that the thing you’re waiting for is waiting for you (to change and make change).

Sometimes, the problems people have are way beyond their control.

That’s why it’s so important to loop back and clarify that this argument I’ve been making is NOT about victim blaming. There’s too much of that going around as it is.

I've noticed that once people adopt the point of view that the mind itself is capable of initiating a radical transformation of circumstances, there’s a tendency for some of those converts to be rather unforgiving towards their brothers and sisters in less fortunate circumstances.

"If they just believed / had faith / did their inner work rather than complaining so much…." 

Sometimes, external circumstances don’t change despite best efforts. Structural inequalities exist, really shitty luck exists, and a host of other impairments exist.

If everything were as simple as a mind trick, we’d all be driving Ferraris.

So where does that leave us?

Hopefully, it’s a gentle reminder to be more empathetic, not less empathetic, when we see someone struggling. Most of us can draw on the experience of having felt absolutely powerless at some point in our life. 

It also leaves us full circle, back to the tips that I offered up last week for making massive change.

Because regardless of the external circumstances impeding your life, the kind of change we’re looking for – the kind that is life-transforming rather than a one-off fluke – ultimately does begin within.

Before any oppressed person has claimed equal rights, they first had to believe that they were worthy of those rights, they had to believe that the very system that oppressed them could change, and they had to believe that they had a role in that change.

Unless you change – change how you think, act, and believe, or even just change up the energy in order to allow a fresh perspective – then your unfavorable circumstances don’t have much chance of ever disappearing from your life. (And if they do, they’ll likely find their way back to you sooner rather than later.)

The change you seek might not happen as soon as you like, but you can still live differently, beginning today.

Remember that even the smallest of your efforts count: Lots of people say they wish things would change, but not everybody takes steps to see it happen.

You have the power to design your life and thoughts to the best of your ability within your circumstances, and those changes should never ever be downplayed or undervalued.

So here’s to you, exactly where you are.

Jenna

When sh*t doesn’t feel right

Sometimes you just know something’s not right.

Or do you?

Listening to your intuition is a hot topic for everybody from artists to CEOs, but since it’s really hard to define it can leave even the most emotionally connected people feeling uncertain.

Like most of the abstract terms we routinely throw around, it becomes a little shy when you try to pinpoint it:

Is this love … or is this person mirroring some deep psychological need?

Is this the end of love … or is this just me creating psychological distance?

Is this guiding intuition … or is the situation just satisfying a subconscious longing?

Is this protective intuition … or is it fear?

If only we had a crystal ball.

Welcome to transition

As I write this I’m knee-deep in disarray. After over a month in hotels and a 1,700 mile road trip, we’re finally moving into our new home in Colorado.

We couldn’t wait to get into this house! We searched for it, chose it among all others, negotiated for it and even pleaded just a little. We waited not-so-patiently. And now it’s ours…

But when we actually moved in, things just didn’t feel right.

We couldn’t get comfortable. If it made sense to sit facing one direction, our furniture would only allow us to face the opposite.

Every room seemed awkward, and it wasn’t just frustrating … it felt awful. Just like when the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and tell you to slowly back away.

Had we made a huge mistake?

And then the shift happened

But we kept at it. We kept unpacking boxes, trying different arrangements, and making sure we got lots of sleep.

And pretty soon, things began to shift. A flash of inspiration here, the mundane removal of a rug there, and before we knew it, it started to feel … good. The feng shui realigned and the house started becoming our home.

I’m sure you’ve experienced energy shifts like that in your life, too. The question is, what causes the shift? Luck, perseverance, mindset? Maybe all of the above?

In my opinion, the most important variable is time.

When you’re transitioning, time is what allows the more reactionary parts of your brain to chill out. Time is how you naturally reconcile the way things used to be or how things should be with how they really are … and eventually realize that despite feelings of fear or resistance, you’re ok.

Mindset work, affirmations, and looking on the sunny side are all extremely powerful, but none of them have the special properties of time.

Let’s break it down

When we moved into the new house, we were facing two mental incongruities:

• Our old house, our “home,” felt and looked different. This wasn’t that, so it wasn’t home and therefore possibly would never be home.

• When we looked at pictures of the new house and walked through its empty rooms, we projected a rosy vision of our future that contrasted sharply with the reality of moving-box-overwhelm and funky furniture proportions.

Neuroscientists have a name for the brain activity that occurs during this disconnect between expectations and reality: “prediction error.” (You can read more about it in an earlier post, The Brain Science of Being Uncommon.)    

It’s inherently uncomfortable – more so for some than for others – and in simplest terms its functions are to keep us safe and help us learn quickly.

When we experience this kind of discomfort, but then eventually see that our worst fears never came to pass (no tiger jumped out of the bushes to pounce on us), we relax out of the stress response. We’re able to take in more information and open ourselves to new possibilities.

What we thought was a pair of tiger eyes is actually just a funny looking leaf, and before long we’re passing by that bush on the daily and even sampling its juicy, sweet berries.

Why time is so magical

Time is more effective (but also frustratingly slower) than many other interventions because the fear mechanism is located in a part of your brain that can’t process language or logic. It responds only to direct experience.

That’s precisely why so many of the most effective relaxation techniques involve sensory experience (such as breath work, meditation and mindfulness, and somatic experiencing).

However, when your brain is screaming, “This is wrong!! Run!!” it can be really difficult to fully enter into a state of relaxation, no matter how hard you try. (Think about it. When you’re faced with an existential threat it would be counterproductive, to say the least, if your brain were able to switch off the fear response like a light switch.)

But what we CAN do is … wait. (In stress-response language, we can “freeze.”) We might not shake the creepy crawly feeling right away, but we can force ourselves not to run.

And by waiting, we can confirm or deny our suspicions. 

If it’s not meant to be – if you’re not meant to be in that house or continue with that business or if you’re not meant to gorge on berries because there’s a freakin’ tiger in the bush – your intuition will be confirmed.

And if it’s actually ok, that too will come to light.

So the next time you’re at a transition crossroads and it feels off (or awful), before you throw everything away remember this: All will be revealed in due time. And by then, you'll feel much more certain about your decision.

Here’s to a measured response to your intuitive hits,

Jenna

Getting in your own way? Maybe it’s because…

We all have hopes and dreams, but only a few of us ever take the necessary steps to turn them into reality. Why?

My favorite answer comes from the crystal merchant in Paolo Coelho’s must-read fable, The Alchemist.

The main character, Santiago, a Spanish shepherd in search of a treasure, meets the crystal merchant in Morocco when he’s down and out. The merchant gives him food, a job, and a place to stay, and as they get to know each other better, he reveals his own dream: to travel to Mecca.

(He doesn’t have the time or money to travel to Mecca right now, but someday….)

Soon, an interesting thing happens.

As Santiago works in the merchant’s store, sales start to take off. Before long, the merchant has all the money he needs for his Mecca trip, and could safely leave store operations in the hands of Santiago.

But he doesn’t go.

When Santiago finally asks why, the merchant answers:

"Because it's the thought of Mecca that keeps me alive. That's what helps me face these days that are all the same, these mute crystals on the shelves, and lunch and dinner at that same horrible café. I'm afraid that if my dream is realized, I'll have no reason to go on living." 

In other words, it never really had anything to do with money. And it wasn’t about time.

By keeping his dreams as dreams, he could hold on to the status quo rather than risking the unknown.

The trade-off? He lives an unsatisfactory life that never measures up to his dreams.

Using the lottery ticket example from last week, the crystal merchant’s story is like buying a lottery ticket in the hopes that it will enable you to live an entirely different life, and actually winning(!!!) … but then doing nothing.

So now a question for you: If you’re not currently pursuing your dreams, what do you think is the deeper reason?

(I’d love to hear the answer, and would be so honored if you’d share it with me in the comments below or in our group, The Uncommon Way Community.  No matter how big it seems, voicing it in the open will start undercutting its power.)

The bottom line is this: Defining what you want is the critical first step, but it isn’t enough.

To actually get what you want, you’ve got to decide that you’re really going to go after it. (And that’s what most people never fully do.)

Here’s to allowing yourself to ask for something more,

Jenna

How to be truly uncommon

There’s something that I spend a good amount of time wondering.

When are we being different because it truly jives with our inner self, and when are we doing things in a contrary way just to prove that we’re different?

Put another way, when do our choices stem from something intrinsic to us, and when are they prescribed by what’s around us?

I think of this when I see counterculture groups spring up. Punk, goth, biker, hipster … you can spot the members quickly because they all look so similar.

In not subscribing to the mainstream, they look really, really conformist!

I also think of it each time I’m tempted to buy a pair of skinny jeans….

But who cares how people look, right? That’s something we can play around with on the daily. What matters is who we are.

On that topic, my husband and I have spent our road trip trying to decide on a name for our son. It’s a big deal. After all, a name ends up forming part of a person’s identity.

I came up with one that I loved (Logan) … and then something made me check its popularity: #6. 

Number six? I don’t know anybody with that name, or anybody that has given their son that name. How can it be number six?

Before I knew it, I was seeing Logans everywhere, including in movie titles and superhero names. It quickly became much, much less appealing.*

But so what if we share things in common with other people, and if we’re not perfectly unique? So much of that is beyond our control. There’s nature, there’s nurture, there’s circumstance …. We are who we are.

Which makes me think that the only thing that really defines us is what we do.

And that brings us back to the original question about the choices we make.

We all want to give ourselves the freedom to walk an uncommon path, but we’ve got to make sure that we’re doing more than just reacting to what’s around us (even when it comes to naming a child). 

At some point, it becomes less about turning left when others turn right, and more about taking the time to understand ourselves, our preferences, and what matters to us ... and then following that guidance regardless of what others are doing – even if they’re doing exactly the same thing we are (and that drives us up the wall)!

To be truly uncommon – or to truly walk our own path and live life on our own terms – we’ve got to constantly question ourselves and our motivations.



And we’ve got to do it despite the fact that it’s impossible to ever know everything that drives us, because the search for our own, uncommon way isn't just a reflection of who we are … it’s what we choose to do.

Here’s to making your choices count,

Jenna

And now I’d really love to know what’s important to you. Where do you do things differently than those around you? What do you wish you did differently? When does it not matter to you either way?

*A little background here. My full name is Jennifer. On the day I was born, there were 8 other Jennifers on my hospital floor. Throughout school, my name always included my last initial because there were so many other Jennifers. Never has there been a phenomenon like Jennifer: described as “an epidemic,” it was the most popular name in America for fourteen straight years!

So I’m a little biased against common names.

5 steps for staying on track when life gets overwhelming

Does it feel like your project or business – the one you began with so much enthusiasm – is starting to take a back seat to the rest of your life? Do you hear those statistics about new businesses failing and wonder if you might be headed in that direction?

The question of why some businesses fail is a good one. You could blame undercapitalization, faulty market research or a downturn in the economy. But I think the primary culprit is overwhelm.

Last week I made my case for why, when life gets crazy, you should scale back your projects rather than putting them on hold.

This week, I want to share what’s been working for me as I attempt to do exactly that!

Follow these tips, and you’ll be able to keep your projects moving forward even when you’re short on time and bandwidth, regardless of whether your ‘project’ is a business or major life change, and regardless of whether you’re just beginning or farther into the process:

1. Be realistic:

Remember (from last week), the aim here is to keep things going but avoid burnout.

Be realistic about how much time you can commit, and then reduce that by a half to a third. (That also happens to be my favorite travel tip for packing lightly!)

You can always add more into your schedule if you find additional time.

Under-scheduling is much better than overcommitting, because productivity skyrockets when you maintain a positive-feedback loop. (Read more about this and the Harvard Business Review’s supporting study by downloading our free Idea to I Did It ebook, here.)

Personally, I spent about six hours on my business for two of the last three weeks, and only about two hours now that I’m on my road trip to my new home.

The open road… somewhere in Kansas (maybe).

2. Prioritize:

One of the most important things you can do in business AND life is to figure out your priorities. Clarity makes everything better.

For more on this, check out No, No, No (Assuming Risk) – my very first post on this site! (That should tell you how seriously I take this topic.)

It’s about the power of saying no to those things that aren’t worth prioritizing, and why U.S. military leaders coined the term “assuming risk” to describe a tactic that keeps them focused and productive even when the stakes are so high.

Right now, producing content is really important in my business, so I committed to maintaining my weekly publication schedule. I’m also preparing to launch a podcast in a few months, so even though it isn’t urgent at the moment, it’s extremely important and worth prioritizing.

So what’s my big “No” (where I assume risk)? Income, for one. I made sure that I didn’t have any long-term coaching clients during this time, restricting myself to shorter introductory packages so that I’d have more control over the timing.

Social media is also taking a back seat, along with any kind of promotion or professional development (All those articles filled with great content from mentors and thought leaders? I guess I’ll get to them later if I’m meant to see them.)

3. Strategize

Once you’ve figured out your priorities, how can you make the related tasks as streamlined and time-efficient as possible? What can be outsourced? What’s ahead on the calendar that will help or hinder you?

You want to map out everything so that you don’t get caught by surprise and drop the ball. 

Weeks before the movers were at my house, it was already easy to imagine how difficult it would be to produce a new blog post, so I lined up a guest post (the fabulous 1 Simple Strategy for Creating Success). Don’t be afraid to tap into your network to get you through the lean times!

4. Get Accountable

It’s natural to need a little extra accountability during this time.

Be honest about how much you need, and put something in place. Some people do fine with simple calendar notifications or public declarations. Others need an accountability group or to hire a private coach. 

My go-to is a mastermind group, and I’ve made space for it during these busy weeks. Of course I value the advice and friendship of my fellow business owners, but I also know myself and recognize that our weekly check-ins help me keep reaching for new levels in my business.

Just this week they encouraged me to push past resistance and reach out to a dream podcast guest for an interview (despite the fact that I haven’t launched so have no audience). Guess what? We’ll be recording later this month!

5. Less attachment, more c’est la vie

Give yourself permission to take things a little less seriously, and cut yourself some slack if something unexpected gets in the way of your plans.

This is especially important for recovering perfectionists (like me)!

…Maybe the world won’t fall apart if your post comes out a few hours late (I’m testing that right now).

…Maybe your future clients will be willing to wait a few weeks to book with you. 

…Maybe people will still find value in your work even if you’re not the social media queen.

There’s a sweet spot that lies somewhere between your high standards and completely blowing everything off, and that’s exactly where both business and life thrive. (Hint: That spot isn’t static. It shifts over time.)

Look back over this list whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed, and I guarantee you’ll see that you’ve veered off track on at least one of the points. If you can incorporate all five, you’ll be fine.

Here’s to maintaining your sanity AND your goals,

Jenna

The brain science of being uncommon

Do suburban tract homes make your skin crawl?

Does it annoy you that so many people tend to do the exact same things, buy the same cars, dress the same way?

Are you a fish swimming against the current?

Deep within us there’s a strong impulse to conform, but it affects some people more than others.

On a good day, it allows us to bond and form tight groups so we can stay safe and content while curbing selfish impulses.

But there’s also a dark side, ranging from extreme examples of conforming to violent or self-destructive groups, to more benign experiences like staying within the lines even when you know you want something different.  

If you’re somebody that prefers to avoid trends rather than follow them, you’re left scratching your head about why others seem so comfortable with conformity and why you’re so different.

Or at least that’s how I felt … and why I’m so fascinated with this topic and the constant tug-of-war between pilot and autopilot that happens within each of us.

Until recently, not much was known about how this all plays out in the brain, but two studies from the past decade have finally shed some light.

Our nonconformity can be observed

In 2009, Dr Vasily Klucharev of the FC Donders Centre for Cognitive Neuroimaging in the Netherlands used fMRI brain scans to show increased activity in specific centers of the brain (the rostral cingulate zone and the ventral striatum) when test subjects decided to conform, and less when they did not.

The subjects were asked to rate the attractiveness of faces seen in photographs, and then they were deliberately encouraged to change their minds based on what the majority of the group thought. 

The researchers expected to see a “prediction error” signal in the brain – which has been witnessed in studies of reinforcement learning and happens when there’s a difference between the outcome you expect and the outcome you witness – and that’s exactly what they saw.

Those that conformed the most had the strongest conflict-related signals. They expected their opinions to be similar to everyone else, and quickly altered their answers (and possibly their opinions) to realign to their expectations.

Our nonconformity can be manipulated 

In 2011, our crusading neuroscientist Dr. Klucharev was back and leading a group from the Radboud University Nijmegen in the Netherlands.

This time, they showed that you can actually manipulate the tendency towards conformity by using Transcranial Electromagnetic Stimulation (TMS) in the posterior medial frontal cortex, an area of the brain associated with reward processing.

Test subjects exposed to the magnetic pulses were less likely to conform when presented with a “face attractiveness” conflict like the kind created in the 2009 study.

The researchers think that by inhibiting this part of the brain, subjects felt less affected by the conflict, allowing them to think and behave differently.

What this means for us

To sum up, Dr. Klucharev is quoted as saying, “Individuals differ in the strength of the error signal – which is why some people are more conformist than others.”

He believes that we can now focus on uncovering “behavioral techniques that modulate activity … without any physical intervention. Hopefully, with help of these, techniques someone would be able to partly immune themselves to ‘group pressure'.”

Figuring out those techniques and using them to fully develop our 'uncommonness' is a huge part of what we're doing here at The Uncommon Way. 

Here's to an inhibited error signal,

Jenna

P.S. What are your favorite techniques for lessening the effects of group pressure? Leave a comment so we all can benefit and discuss!

Why curiosity beats waiting for intuition, inspiration, or complete information

*Do you feel like if you could only figure out what you want to do next in business or life, you’d finally be able to close that gulf between where you are now and where you actually want to be?

Last week I suggested that your best tool for making that happen – even if you have absolutely no idea what you want to do – has been sitting right under your nose.

It’s your curiosity.

This tool is simple and effective! It worked for me and so many others, including Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love. Right when things seemed darkest in her life she decided to sign up for an Italian class, and that one decision eventually led to her writing the bestseller that would change her life forever.

Let me show you why it works:

Both intuition and inspiration are tricky

If life were a Hollywood movie, you’d wait until you had an intuitive hit that told you exactly what you should be doing. It would happen when you were staring out over the ocean, or while reading a passage in a book.

In real life that doesn’t happen very often, especially if what you’re considering is something that feels risky.

Many times what we think is our intuition (telling us to cool our jets) is actually fear (telling us to play it safe).

Sometimes people wait to feel inspired in order to write that great novel or take the next step in their business … but that waiting can go on for decades.

In a crazy twist, the best way to activate your inner motivation and tap into your creativity is to show up regularly for yourself and your dreams.

Just think back to school and how many times you dragged your feet over writing a paper, only to find the words flow once you actually sat down and started writing.

That’s probably why a woman who has inspired thousands of people to launch and grow businesses loves to remind people:

“Clarity comes from engagement, not thought.” – Marie Forleo

What if there were no wrong decisions?

One of the biggest mistakes we make is taking our options too seriously.

We do that because we’re worried about making the wrong decision, and then being locked into that wrong decision forever.

But what if the majority of our decisions weren’t completely right or wrong, they were just different? And each one would teach us what we needed to get us to our final destination faster than if we’d done nothing at all … like two roads that meet at the same intersection.

If that’s true, then 50 years from now you’re going to wish you had lightened up and enjoyed the ride.

Think about it this way: 

You will never have completely perfect information.

And even if you could make the absolutely most “right” decision – if there were such a thing – eventually you’d change course anyway. Whatever it was you had or were doing just wouldn’t completely fit anymore. 

Because that’s what people like us do. We evolve.

You’re missing the bigger picture

Wasting too much time on just one decision is short sighted.

I’m a huge advocate of inner game work and introspection … up to a point. But eventually you need to get into action.

Because if you look at the big picture, you’ll see it’s not about whether you’re a person who lives here or there, or does this or that, or wants widgets or wodgets.

It’s not about the specific life change you make. It could be as dramatic as running off to a Buddhist monastery or as benign as planting a garden.

What matters is that you’re a person that evolves, or takes risks, or won’t settle, or whatever else resonates with you. And your next step helps you learn, gain momentum, remain limber, and walk the walk.

It all comes down to who you are, and your transitory choices are mere reflections of that identity.

When thinking about your business, remember that it’s not about the specific step or even the specific business.

It’s about you being an entrepreneur. And the next step helps you acquire skills, and understand both your customers and your own preferences more fully. It helps you walk the walk.

So when you’re not sure what to do, think less about your choices, and more about what making a choice says about you.

Live in integrity with how you want to be in the world, and you’ll probably end up surpassing your original destination.    

And your curiosity – because it’s almost always instantly available, because it’s lighthearted, and because it’s a reflection of who you are - is the best place to start.

Here’s to walking the walk,

Jenna

P.S. Extra credit: Watch Ruth Chang’s TED talk, and ask yourself if there really are right decisions.

P.P.S. I'd love to know what YOU are feeling curious about! Are there times when you've waited too long to take action? Let's talk about it in the comments.

What to do when you have absolutely no idea what to do

Right now you’re here in life, and what you really want is to be there.

So you plug your destination into GoogleGoals and it spits out a plan. If you speed a little, you can even arrive before scheduled. Simple, right?

If only! 

In reality, we often only have vague outlines of how we’d like our life to be, and absolutely no idea how to get there.

The problem when people tell you to get started now

The problem with reading posts like Why You Need Clarity Now is that they can make you feel worse about yourself.

They tell you why you need to Seize the Day! and Get into Action! … but how are you supposed to do that if you can’t figure out what direction to take?

If you knew what to do, you’d be doing it.

Can you tell me what I’m supposed to do?

I’ve written before about the West Village fortune teller who broke my heart when she wouldn’t tell me what I should be doing with my life. (It was one of those end-of-the-rope moments. Don’t judge.)

She said that I, unfortunately, was the only one that could decide. 

She was right, of course. But it wasn’t what I needed to hear. It left me more confused than before and didn’t move me even one step in the right direction.

Here’s what I wish she had said:

It’s time to follow your curiosity.

This is how it works. 

I call it the Curiosity Concept.

If you’ve done your brainstorming, your journaling, your reflection, your research, and your meditation, and yet you’re still exactly where you started…

It’s time to get moving.

And in the absence of clear direction, the best way to find clarity is to follow your curiosity.

Here’s how the Curiosity Concept works in business: 

If you have no idea what kind of business you should launch, but you’ve been feeling curious about whether there would be demand for that thing that comes so easily to you…

If you’re struggling to decide which social media platform to focus on, but there’s one that seems more interesting…

If you’re undecided about which provider to use, but you’re intrigued by a package offered by one of them…

…then follow your curiosity.

Ask yourself, “What would I be interested in learning about, writing about, and speaking about for the next six months or a year? What would I be curious to work on or with?”

Here’s how it works for life in general:

If you don’t know what to do with your life, but you’re feeling curious about a course at the local college…

If you know something needs to change in your life (but don’t know what), and you’re feeling curious about Toastmasters…

If you want to meet the partner of your dreams, and you’re feeling curious about rock climbing…

…it just might be the stepping stone you need. 

Ask yourself, “What would I like to spend time doing? What’s something that has always seemed interesting, and keeps turning up in one way or another? What’s something I’d like to know more about, talk more about, and experience more?”

That’s way too easy!

Sound too good to be true? It’s not. Next week I’ll show you why this works.

You don’t have to quit your job, invest in an MBA, then move across the ocean in order to make your dreams happen. You just need to take one tiny step forward.

Don’t do what I did. Don't waste over a decade waiting to “know.”

During that time, I talked myself out of literally hundreds of business opportunities. (And tens of potential life partners, too.)

In the end, it took a combination of thinking AND moving for things to begin to gel.  

Here’s to the power of your curiosity,

Jenna

P.S. If you'd like to speak to someone personally about your specific fork-in-the-road, let’s hop on a call and see if it makes sense for us to work together.

4 reasons it’s so tough to find your calling if you’re an abstract thinker

I can remember it clear as day: A sunny, warm afternoon in NYC, flowers in bloom…

…and me stuffed in a dark subterranean basement in the Village begging a $10 palm reader to tell me what I was meant to do with my life.

I was that desperate!

I even felt my eyes prick with tears when she said she couldn’t tell me.

By my late twenties I felt like everyone else had it all figured out, while I was more confused than ever and becoming increasingly self-flagellating about the whole thing.  

I liked lots of things, but nothing was “it.”

(Or if it was it, it was only it for a few months or maybe a year until I either grew bored or got distracted by a different it.)

Luckily, I've learned a thing or two since then.

Why it’s different for abstract thinkers

Last week I talked a bit about what an abstract thinker is, how abstract thinking is different than concrete thinking, and that while we all use both types of thought we tend to gravitate to one dominant style.

It may seem obvious now that abstract thinkers would have it tougher than concrete thinkers when it comes to choosing one specific course of action. But let’s take a moment to highlight four of the top reasons:

4 things that make it difficult for abstract thinkers to choose

1. FOMO – Abstract thinkers live in the realm of possibility, so they’re super susceptible to FOMO (fear of missing out). If you can imagine the grass being greener, then it’s entirely possible that it truly is greener. It’s also possible that your skills might be better suited elsewhere, that you could make a bigger contribution, be more appreciated, or have a better quality of life. The list goes on and on…

2. Curiosity – Similar to #1, abstract thinkers are highly curious because they gravitate to patterns and associations (as well as what doesn’t fit within a pattern). One seemingly benign new piece of information can have their mind making connections with something completely different that they learned long ago, or a new hypothesis that just occurred to them … and of course then they’ve got to find out more. Their curiosity inevitably leads them to discover potential careers that their more concrete-thinking colleagues might never consider.

3. Is it enough? – Abstract thinkers spend a lot of time thinking about meaning and the bigger picture, which leads them to second-guess their jobs. It might not be “enough” to be good at something or enjoy something, unlike many concrete thinkers that are focused on the here and now. Abstract thinkers have to talk themselves into believing that their chosen vocation has meaning.

4. Details seem incomplete – Since abstract thinkers naturally gravitate to the big picture, anything too detailed or concrete seems incongruous to their nature. It’s as if something is missing. For instance, they may love to travel and people might suggest that they become a travel agent or flight attendant or travel blogger. But somehow, none of those feels right. Each is only one tiny facet of the greater travel experience.

So if you’re a big-picture, abstract thinker who has struggled with narrowing down your vocational interests … don’t do what I did. Don’t take it out on yourself.

Recognize that your situation is an understandable consequence of the way your brain works, period. That doesn’t mean your situation is hopeless. It doesn’t mean you’re doomed to be a drifter, squandering your education and potential. It simply means that you have to go about your search in a different way.

And that’s what we’ll talk about next week.

Here’s to recognizing the advantages of your uncommon way of thinking,

Jenna

5 great things your indecision says about you

We’re surrounded by advice to start before we’re ready, push through the fear, and act on ideas quickly. So if you’re feeling uncertain and struggling to make up your mind about what to do next, it’s easy to feel deficient.

(Cue the negative self-talk…)

But when reasonable advice becomes so prolific that you feel surrounded, chances are high that groupthink has come into play. So let’s take a second look.

Maybe your indecision isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe, it’ll serve you really, really well in the long run….

Can’t decide what to do with your life … or even what to do next? Here are 5 ways that it can help you in the long run:

1) At least you recognize that you want change

Sometimes, realization is the most elusive step. But you’re already there. In the words of philosopher Eric Hoffer, “It is the awareness of unfulfilled desires which gives a nation the feeling that it has a mission and a destiny.” The same can be said of individuals. Unlike too many people that you probably know, you have the self-awareness to recognize that something’s not right and the desire to overcome that dissonance.

2) It shows that you’re open to possibilities

If you refrain from choosing an option because you tend to come up with new ideas or your ideas evolve with changing circumstances, you likely have a high level of creativity and openness. And those are two traits absolutely essential to companies that are struggling to innovate and remain relevant. Scientific American describes openness as “the drive for cognitive exploration of inner and outer experience,” and says it is the “personality trait most consistently associated with creativity.”

Besides, your first ideas are usually the most conventional, says Wharton professor Adam Grant in his book Originals: How Nonconformists Move the World. There’s nothing wrong – and a lot right – with stopping to consider the big world of possibilities out there rather than following along with what seems reasonable. Like the discoverers who said, “There might be something there beyond that ocean” despite prevailing wisdom, openness to possibilities is a trait of visionaries.

3) You’re thinking strategically

Even if your hesitancy is due to analysis rather than a constant influx of new ideas, it points to a useful skill: strategic thinking. “If this happens, then that would happen, and then either this or that, and if so then.…” It’s an important survival skill that just happens to be important in business, too.

While the chessboard analogy feels outdated in today’s business environment, strategy and anticipating the future will never go out of style. In the words of hockey star Wayne Gretzky, “A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.” In business (and life), the best players stay ahead of the competition.

4) You want to make informed decisions

There’s an important psychological term called “planning fallacy” which describes is a delusional optimism leading to poor decision making rather than a rational weighing of gains, losses and probabilities. You don’t want that. Information-gathering aids in the decision-making process, period. (Yes, too much information can lead to analysis paralysis, but that doesn’t mean we should throw the baby out with the bathwater.)

When the U.S. military tries to bridge the gap between a complex, ever-changing environment and actionable tactics for moving forward in that environment, they use a process called “operational design.” The key first step in that process? Develop a thorough understanding of all aspects of the surrounding environment.

5) Reflection and introspection are attributes of the gods

Too dramatic? Maybe. Let’s put it this way: experience teaches, but so does “the intentional attempt to synthesize, abstract and articulate the key lessons taught by experience.” (Otherwise known as reflection.) Reflecting on the world around us helps us process and retain information better, leading to better decisions.

Even when people are introspective, turning their gaze inward and reflecting upon their own tendencies, feelings and behaviors, it correlates to better consistency in planning and decision-making and increased business performance.

To tie this up, I’ll explain how this all relates to what I’ve been saying over the last month:

A few weeks ago I shared an impassioned story, imploring you not to wait another minute before acting on your dreams. In the following weeks, I talked about the biggest mindset shift necessary to take that leap. Then this week I thought, “But what about people that don’t quite know what they want to do?”

I deeply and wholeheartedly relate to your pain.

For years I struggled with a burning desire to DO … but little direction. It was heartbreaking. I felt like my life and potential were being wasted, and I hated myself for not being more decisive or having more self-understanding.

Today, my job is to help people in similar circumstances get into action … which is why many act surprised when I point out what’s so great about their indecision.

But hindsight and decades of education are beautiful things, and I’m simply telling you what I wish someone had told me:

The inclination towards indecision is grounded in wonderful traits that can serve you well in the future, so hold your head high.

Now I would really love to hear: What kinds of decisions are you struggling with? Which of the points to you most identify with? Let me know in the comments below.

Here’s to taking just the right amount of time to act,

Jenna

P.S. While it’s fantastic to recognize the positive traits that restrain impulsive decision-making, it goes without saying that your eventual success will require action. If you’re at the point where you’ve spent enough time on analysis and want to move forward, or simply need someone to hash through your ideas with, let’s hop on a call to see if it makes sense for us to work together.