2 steps to master your to-do list

To list, or not to list? 

Last week I pointed out that to-do lists can actually make us less productive. If you’re a compulsive list-maker like me, that’s pretty deflating.

On the one hand, you need some way to get the thousand ideas, projects and tasks floating around in your head into some sort of organizable format. A girl needs her clear mental feng shui, after all.

But on the other, you don’t want to feed a habit that makes you feel worse about yourself and reduces your performance, regardless of the dopamine goodness you get in the short-term.

Luckily, there’s a way to have it all. And it only involves two simple steps, both of which will make you happier in life and less overwhelmed if you just stick with them.

A quick caveat

These steps are deceptively simple. In reality, this might be one of the hardest things you’ll do. In fact, it’s what most of my clients struggle the most to implement.

Why? Because you have to reward yourself for the things that you do each day,even when you’re not sure you did enough.

And focusing on the positive doesn’t come naturally to us, as I also pointed out last week.

The good news is that this works. It gets you out of the future tense and into the actionable present in a manageable way.

Remember those days of coming across old lists with projects that still haven’t been accomplished? No longer your problem.

Making friends with your list

Ok, ready for the steps? Here they are:

1. Prioritize (aka whittle it waaay down):

So you’ve got 20 items on your list and you just know that today’s the day you’re going to knock them all out? I love the enthusiasm, but it’s a) probably unrealistic and b) certainly unsustainable.

Instead, prioritize your top 1 to 3 tasks. Do it at the end of the workday or the end of the workweek, so that when you start the day you can look and see exactly what’s ahead without getting consumed by everything else you coulda-woulda-shoulda been doing.

(You’ll probably still think of other to-dos. That’s ok. Quickly add them to your master list and forget about them. You can check out your master list at the end of the day – or week, if you have a more advanced practice – when you re-prioritize.

And if you find that some items linger on your list and never really become a priority? Say adiós. This is about slowing down and returning to the fundamentals, not accumulating mental clutter that weighs you down.)

2. Celebrate

Once you’ve completed your 1 – 3 tasks, reward yourself. You’ve accomplished what you set out to do and are proving you can count on yourself. If you keep this up, imagine the real progress you’ll have made in a year….

Curl up with a new book, meet a friend for a martini, splurge on a sitter for the kids or a dog walker for the furbaby … it doesn’t really matter how you choose to reward yourself. I like to set up small celebrations on the daily followed by something extra special at the end of the week.

You’re developing a positive feedback loop, and that will help you way more in the long run than whatever extra 3 or 5 or 10 things you might’ve done today.

This might happen…

In the beginning, don’t be surprised if you conveniently “forget” to celebrate, or if every bone in your body is lamenting the stupidity of the exercise given that you’ve ONLY done 3 things and there’s so much else you should be doing!!!

Don’t give up. It can take weeks to form a habit, and you need to get to the point where you’re on autopilot. After that you’re free to customize at will … maybe you’ll find that 5 tasks is your magic number, or 2.

What you’re looking for is consistency, the discipline to celebrate your progress, and the power (someday soon) to shake off overwhelm.

Here’s to becoming happier and freer on your journey,

Jenna

What neuroscience says about your to-do list

I’ve got to confess: Even though I know better now, if I stop paying attention I slip right back into my old ways.

I’m a hoarder ... a hoarder of to-do lists.

They turn up everywhere – upstairs, downstairs, in drawers, tucked in journals, falling out of pockets, divided among countless sticky notes….

But how can I stop?! I get such a rush when things get out of my head and onto paper. It’s like feng shui for the mind.

And don’t even get me started on the joy of actually crossing something off….

But even though it’s a short-term high, the latest research tells us that to-do lists tend to make us less productive by negatively affecting performance in the medium and long run.

(Noooo!!!)

It turns out that we love to-do lists because we get a rush of dopamine every time we cross something off. Those dopamine hits are très addictive - like warm chocolate croissants from Starbucks.

Unfortunately, we tend to put way more onto those to-do lists than we can reasonably accomplish.

And the effect of NOT crossing things off our lists – or worse! watching our lists continually grow longer, rather than shorter – makes us feel even worse than we did before we made the list.

What ends up happening is that a negative feedback loop forms:

• We feel loss over the lack of dopamine

• We focus on what we DIDN’T do, rather than what we DID accomplish, and feel overwhelmed by everything there is to do

• We decide there’s something wrong with us (we’re lazy, we lack discipline, we’re too scattered)

• Subconsciously, we’re less inclined to tackle future projects because we know we end up feeling bad about ourselves. It’s so much easier to get a quick hit of dopamine from social media or some other source!

(All of this is completely human and completely logical. We’re wired to pay more attention to the negative situations in our lifex (after all, they’re more life-threatening than positive situations) and then avoid them at all costs!)

If this even remotely rings a bell, then hang tight. I’ve got a solution for you coming next week that will show you how to have your lists but keep crossing things off like a badass, too.

Here’s to getting your projects off of paper and out into the world,

Jenna

THIS basketball tip can help you beat overwhelm

Even as the buzzer sounded with a 92-73 upset, there were still a few fans left waving their country’s flags forlornly in the stands.

It was as if they were hoping for a last-minute miracle and their bodies had gone into shock rather than accept the truth:

The tiny island of Puerto Rico had just beaten the United States in basketball at the 2004 Olympics in Athens.

Prior to this moment, the United States had won 109 of their 111 Olympic games. Since 1992, when pro players were first allowed on the team, they had been completely undefeated.

Nobody had expected this.

So What Happened?

The analysis began before the game even ended, with opinions flying back and forth faster than the balls themselves. When the dust settled, one thing was clear:the Puerto Rico team had a better grasp of the fundamentals.

Puerto Rico played like a team, careful and steady, rather than a bunch of individual superstars. They took their time, they passed, they guarded, and they scored. Mentally, they were resilient and positive despite what seemed like overwhelming odds.

The United States team hadn’t spent much time practicing together. They slumped and pouted. They argued with referees, they failed to pass the ball during important plays and they rushed to the basket for a slice of limelight … only to miss the shots over and over.

Returning to the Fundamentals

Lots of factors contributed to the difference between players, but the one worth pointing out here is the decreasing time that U.S. players were spending at amateur levels before moving into professional careers.

It turns out that all those boring drills and practice games and mental maturation and sacrificing for the team … actually made people better players in the long run. Go figure.

What’s This Got to Do With Us?

It’s natural to be seduced by ‘shiny objects,’ whether that’s…

… a seemingly direct path to the basketball hoop

… a new business practice guaranteed to make you mega-money mega-quickly

… or any of a hundred to-dos that promise to make you a better human, partner, parent, gardener, chef, athlete, etc.

Usually we try to take on too many of those new tactics, often before we’re ready, and they don’t lead us to the Promised Land.

Instead, they just lead to overwhelm. Before you know it, your path to the hoop is blocked by three towering opponents, you frantically try to pass, but the ball gets intercepted.

Try This Instead

Slow down.

Do one thing at a time.

Master your current set of skills before upping your game with something new.

There’s a really distinct energy when you approach things this way.

When you’re overwhelmed, trying anything and everything, you feel frazzled. Maybe you don’t feel like you’re good enough, or maybe you feel like you’re better than those around you. Either way, there’s a sense of lack – and maybe even frustration or anger – that’s driving your actions.

When you take time to master the fundamentals, you make sure you’ve covered the basics first. Then, because you know your boundaries and priorities so well, you feel like you've accomplished what you set out to do at the end of the day. There’s a sense of fulfillment.

And Then a Funny Thing Happens

Out of that sense of contentment comes a tiny little nudge … of curiosity, of change, of excitement. Like a college MVP moving onto the pros, it’s time for the next phase.

Chances are, there are parts of your life that can be put on auto-pilot because they’ve become absolutely fundamental to who you are and how you do. If not, maybe they no longer serve you and you’ll want to retire them.

Either way, it frees up space, and into that space flows our basic human impulse to grow, strive, and expand.

And that’s the place where true superstars are born.

Here’s to getting back to what really counts,

Jenna

THIS is your practice now

Have you stopped to think about how much time you spend on routines?

We brush our teeth, walk the dog, check email, and watch our favorite shows. We meet up with friends, head to the gym or go for a run, and maybe even meditate.

Yet so often, we don’t find time for our deepest work. (When I say ‘work,’ I’m referring to the thing that you’re driven to contribute in the world.)

Your Practice

In yoga, there’s lots of reference to “your practice.” Sometimes people think it refers only to the physical poses you do during yoga class, but it’s more than that.

ANYTHING can be your practice. (In fact, everything can be your practice.)

Just getting yourself onto your yoga mat can be the practice! Brushing your teeth can be a practice (it demonstrates your commitment to personal hygiene). Watering your geraniums can be a practice (it reflects your dedication to nurturing or creating a pleasing home).

All that matters is that you show up and do it.

It’s a psychological and even spiritual transformation of the mundane and tedious. Whatever you commit to – whether daily or weekly – should have a reason, and it should make you proud.

Your Practice, Take 2

Today I’d like to send a loving reminder that your work is your practice now.

Those “urgent” things that you tell yourself to finish before you begin your work? Not your practice. Doing things for others, when you know your own work is neglected? Not your practice. Keeping up to the minute on your social media feeds? Not your practice.

If you feel short on time, there are so many things you can let slide. Even if you used to commit to them diligently, they have served their purpose and can be retired.

Once you feel the call to tap into your creativity and contribution, you have found your practice.

It doesn’t matter if the way doesn’t seem clear. It doesn’t matter if there’s a hurdle you’d rather avoid. It doesn’t matter if you’re scared. And it doesn’t even matter how much you do on a given day. 

All that matters is that you show up and practice, today.

This is your time,

Jenna

Are you willing to pay rent for what you want?

Once there was a man who decided to live life by the motto that “It’s better to be fooled than be suspicious.”

If someone took advantage of his trust, he brushed it off and reasoned that his loss was simply ‘rent.’

Rent on what?

On his ideals, on his faith in human nature. He figured it would cost him more to live life as a suspicious person, cutting himself off from opportunity, than to live openheartedly and pay the occasional cost, i.e. rent, to maintain his convictions.  

Ever since I first encountered him (he’s a character in the E.M. Forster novel Howard’s End, by the way), I’ve been fascinated by his story.

While I’m a big fan of setting boundaries, I’m an even bigger fan of taking risks.

What about you?

… Is there something you’ve been holding back on, because you fear the consequences?

What, exactly, have you got to lose? Will it be as devastating as you might be imagining, or is it merely a rent payment? Maybe what you’re doing is far more costly than a little rent payment now and then.

…Or did you try something in the past, only to get burned?

Maybe you need to stop being so hard on yourself, brush it off as a simple rent payment, and get back to living your life.

As we head into fall, often one of the most productive times of the year, it’s worth thinking about your choices. 

Will you go for it, or hold yourself back?

Here’s to calculated risks,

Jenna

Feeling unmotivated? You might be fiu.

The sun is shining and the summer waves are calling, but you’re stuck inside staring at a computer. All of that thrilling excitement and enthusiasm you had when you began this work seems to have vanished.

You’re so over it.

You shut your laptop and scribble a note for your door:

“Temporarily closed because I’m feeling bored and burned out. Be back someday.”

But if you were in Tahiti you could have saved some ink:

“Closed for fiu.”

What’s fiu?

Fiu (pronounced "few") is a word used in French Polynesia (the Pacific island chain encompassing Tahiti, Bora Bora, and about 119 others) to describe the feeling of being bored, fed up, burned out or tired. At the same time, there’s this underlying wish to just relax and get away from it all.

Wait, Jenna. You’re seriously telling me that people in Tahiti just want to get away from it all?! Where in the world do they get away to?

It’s real, people. 

I’ve seen it with my own eyes.

• Shops closed in the middle of the day in high tourist season

• road construction sites sitting empty with lonely looking machinery

• breakfast cafes that finally open at noon

Turns out, dwindling motivation is universal and affects us all at some point. The only real difference is that some cultures acknowledge (even celebrate!) it, and others … not so much.

But I’m already behind! I don’t have time for fiu!

There are two ways to move beyond your fiu. The first is definitely more fun, but sometimes the second is more necessary.

1. Go outside – Disconnect, get out in nature, get your body moving … do whatever it is that feeds your soul (filling your days crossing tasks off of your at-home to-do list doesn’t count). It’s crying out for a refresher, and the inspiration you long for will be so much more accessible if you just. take. a. break.

2. Go inside - Tap into the bigger picture of why you’re doing it and how it fuels you, and remember that – just like other practices whose best effects are felt over time (yoga, running, meditation, cooking) – this is your practice now. Double down and “breathe” through some more work … some mindset work! Ask yourself if there’s something else that’s really going on.

How do you know which to choose?

Here’s a tip for what to do if you’re feeling unmotivated:

Look back on what preceded your mental fatigue, and do the opposite.

 If you’ve been working overtime, either with single focus or too many balls in the air, you probably need that refresher. Don’t guilt-out over it. Revel in it like a polynésien.

If you can’t quite manage to get started OR this is a part of a pattern OR you just returned from a fiu-break and still don’t feel energized, it’s time to start asking yourself the big questions.

(What do I really want? How am I willing to grow to achieve it? Is this my intuition telling me to take another path, or a lens revealing my own resistance to happiness and success?)

I sincerely hope this post helps you get back to your happy place a little more quickly and shed some self-doubt. When it creeps in, remember that the ebbs and flows of motivation are part of the human experience. 

And now if you’ll excuse me, the sun is shining, and my puppy and I are going for a hike.

Here’s to late summer fiu,

Jenna

5 steps for staying on track when life gets overwhelming

Does it feel like your project or business – the one you began with so much enthusiasm – is starting to take a back seat to the rest of your life? Do you hear those statistics about new businesses failing and wonder if you might be headed in that direction?

The question of why some businesses fail is a good one. You could blame undercapitalization, faulty market research or a downturn in the economy. But I think the primary culprit is overwhelm.

Last week I made my case for why, when life gets crazy, you should scale back your projects rather than putting them on hold.

This week, I want to share what’s been working for me as I attempt to do exactly that!

Follow these tips, and you’ll be able to keep your projects moving forward even when you’re short on time and bandwidth, regardless of whether your ‘project’ is a business or major life change, and regardless of whether you’re just beginning or farther into the process:

1. Be realistic:

Remember (from last week), the aim here is to keep things going but avoid burnout.

Be realistic about how much time you can commit, and then reduce that by a half to a third. (That also happens to be my favorite travel tip for packing lightly!)

You can always add more into your schedule if you find additional time.

Under-scheduling is much better than overcommitting, because productivity skyrockets when you maintain a positive-feedback loop. (Read more about this and the Harvard Business Review’s supporting study by downloading our free Idea to I Did It ebook, here.)

Personally, I spent about six hours on my business for two of the last three weeks, and only about two hours now that I’m on my road trip to my new home.

The open road… somewhere in Kansas (maybe).

2. Prioritize:

One of the most important things you can do in business AND life is to figure out your priorities. Clarity makes everything better.

For more on this, check out No, No, No (Assuming Risk) – my very first post on this site! (That should tell you how seriously I take this topic.)

It’s about the power of saying no to those things that aren’t worth prioritizing, and why U.S. military leaders coined the term “assuming risk” to describe a tactic that keeps them focused and productive even when the stakes are so high.

Right now, producing content is really important in my business, so I committed to maintaining my weekly publication schedule. I’m also preparing to launch a podcast in a few months, so even though it isn’t urgent at the moment, it’s extremely important and worth prioritizing.

So what’s my big “No” (where I assume risk)? Income, for one. I made sure that I didn’t have any long-term coaching clients during this time, restricting myself to shorter introductory packages so that I’d have more control over the timing.

Social media is also taking a back seat, along with any kind of promotion or professional development (All those articles filled with great content from mentors and thought leaders? I guess I’ll get to them later if I’m meant to see them.)

3. Strategize

Once you’ve figured out your priorities, how can you make the related tasks as streamlined and time-efficient as possible? What can be outsourced? What’s ahead on the calendar that will help or hinder you?

You want to map out everything so that you don’t get caught by surprise and drop the ball. 

Weeks before the movers were at my house, it was already easy to imagine how difficult it would be to produce a new blog post, so I lined up a guest post (the fabulous 1 Simple Strategy for Creating Success). Don’t be afraid to tap into your network to get you through the lean times!

4. Get Accountable

It’s natural to need a little extra accountability during this time.

Be honest about how much you need, and put something in place. Some people do fine with simple calendar notifications or public declarations. Others need an accountability group or to hire a private coach. 

My go-to is a mastermind group, and I’ve made space for it during these busy weeks. Of course I value the advice and friendship of my fellow business owners, but I also know myself and recognize that our weekly check-ins help me keep reaching for new levels in my business.

Just this week they encouraged me to push past resistance and reach out to a dream podcast guest for an interview (despite the fact that I haven’t launched so have no audience). Guess what? We’ll be recording later this month!

5. Less attachment, more c’est la vie

Give yourself permission to take things a little less seriously, and cut yourself some slack if something unexpected gets in the way of your plans.

This is especially important for recovering perfectionists (like me)!

…Maybe the world won’t fall apart if your post comes out a few hours late (I’m testing that right now).

…Maybe your future clients will be willing to wait a few weeks to book with you. 

…Maybe people will still find value in your work even if you’re not the social media queen.

There’s a sweet spot that lies somewhere between your high standards and completely blowing everything off, and that’s exactly where both business and life thrive. (Hint: That spot isn’t static. It shifts over time.)

Look back over this list whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed, and I guarantee you’ll see that you’ve veered off track on at least one of the points. If you can incorporate all five, you’ll be fine.

Here’s to maintaining your sanity AND your goals,

Jenna

Keep up with projects when you’re just too busy (Or, ‘How to maintain your business when you’re buying and selling a house while moving cross-country and six months pregnant’)

Does it ever feel like you’re just too busy to work? Or move forward with that dream project? Or spend time with your family or partner? Or exercise…?

Life happens. I get it.

I’ve been having one of those months myself:

We had houseguests. We packed up all of our worldly possessions and headed out on a cross-country move after a vacation week on the gorgeous, sunny coast of Maine.

Overlooking a schooner race in Portland, Maine

We worked on buying one house and selling another (in that order). I juggled restless nights with an ever-increasing belly. And perhaps the most upheaval of all: we air-freighted our fur-baby Skye off to Grandma’s so that she wouldn’t have to endure the road trip and dislocation. (She survived just fine and now is being pampered beyond belief.)

It’s been the kind of season where you’re so busy focusing on the urgent that it’s almost impossible to spend time on the important.

Deadlines get delayed, projects get scaled back, things get put on hold. It happens to the best of us, right? No shame.

So what’s the problem?

The problem arises when people try to burn the candle at both ends for too long and then burn out – or worse – they feel so upset over the difference between what they expect they should be doing and what they’re actually doing that they decide to stop completely.

You know, "I’ll just take a little hiatus until things settle down…"

But once you lose momentum, it can be really hard to resume.

Months go by. Sometimes, years.

And there’s not a lot of incentive to start up again, because last time it wasn’t sustainable. Why invest the time and then deal with feelings of inadequacy and disappointment?

What to do instead 

Here’s what to do instead: Do NOT put your projects on hold.

Instead, scale back.

Your ideas and goals are important. (If you don’t believe that, who will?)

And anything that’s important is worth your commitment and continuity.

Lots of us take an all-or-nothing approach. Don’t be that person. Be the person who makes it to the finish line even if it means slow, steady and persistent.

Next week I’ll share how you can do exactly that, even if you’re up to your eyeballs with a million competing priorities.

Here’s to keeping the ball moving no matter what,

Jenna

Skye, playing hide and seek with Grandma

Why curiosity beats waiting for intuition, inspiration, or complete information

*Do you feel like if you could only figure out what you want to do next in business or life, you’d finally be able to close that gulf between where you are now and where you actually want to be?

Last week I suggested that your best tool for making that happen – even if you have absolutely no idea what you want to do – has been sitting right under your nose.

It’s your curiosity.

This tool is simple and effective! It worked for me and so many others, including Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love. Right when things seemed darkest in her life she decided to sign up for an Italian class, and that one decision eventually led to her writing the bestseller that would change her life forever.

Let me show you why it works:

Both intuition and inspiration are tricky

If life were a Hollywood movie, you’d wait until you had an intuitive hit that told you exactly what you should be doing. It would happen when you were staring out over the ocean, or while reading a passage in a book.

In real life that doesn’t happen very often, especially if what you’re considering is something that feels risky.

Many times what we think is our intuition (telling us to cool our jets) is actually fear (telling us to play it safe).

Sometimes people wait to feel inspired in order to write that great novel or take the next step in their business … but that waiting can go on for decades.

In a crazy twist, the best way to activate your inner motivation and tap into your creativity is to show up regularly for yourself and your dreams.

Just think back to school and how many times you dragged your feet over writing a paper, only to find the words flow once you actually sat down and started writing.

That’s probably why a woman who has inspired thousands of people to launch and grow businesses loves to remind people:

“Clarity comes from engagement, not thought.” – Marie Forleo

What if there were no wrong decisions?

One of the biggest mistakes we make is taking our options too seriously.

We do that because we’re worried about making the wrong decision, and then being locked into that wrong decision forever.

But what if the majority of our decisions weren’t completely right or wrong, they were just different? And each one would teach us what we needed to get us to our final destination faster than if we’d done nothing at all … like two roads that meet at the same intersection.

If that’s true, then 50 years from now you’re going to wish you had lightened up and enjoyed the ride.

Think about it this way: 

You will never have completely perfect information.

And even if you could make the absolutely most “right” decision – if there were such a thing – eventually you’d change course anyway. Whatever it was you had or were doing just wouldn’t completely fit anymore. 

Because that’s what people like us do. We evolve.

You’re missing the bigger picture

Wasting too much time on just one decision is short sighted.

I’m a huge advocate of inner game work and introspection … up to a point. But eventually you need to get into action.

Because if you look at the big picture, you’ll see it’s not about whether you’re a person who lives here or there, or does this or that, or wants widgets or wodgets.

It’s not about the specific life change you make. It could be as dramatic as running off to a Buddhist monastery or as benign as planting a garden.

What matters is that you’re a person that evolves, or takes risks, or won’t settle, or whatever else resonates with you. And your next step helps you learn, gain momentum, remain limber, and walk the walk.

It all comes down to who you are, and your transitory choices are mere reflections of that identity.

When thinking about your business, remember that it’s not about the specific step or even the specific business.

It’s about you being an entrepreneur. And the next step helps you acquire skills, and understand both your customers and your own preferences more fully. It helps you walk the walk.

So when you’re not sure what to do, think less about your choices, and more about what making a choice says about you.

Live in integrity with how you want to be in the world, and you’ll probably end up surpassing your original destination.    

And your curiosity – because it’s almost always instantly available, because it’s lighthearted, and because it’s a reflection of who you are - is the best place to start.

Here’s to walking the walk,

Jenna

P.S. Extra credit: Watch Ruth Chang’s TED talk, and ask yourself if there really are right decisions.

P.P.S. I'd love to know what YOU are feeling curious about! Are there times when you've waited too long to take action? Let's talk about it in the comments.

I do my best work in bed

It turns out there's a really simple key to success:
Figure out the conditions that enable your best work, and then show up to do it again and again and again.

My happy place is somewhere that I’ve never heard anybody – and I mean anybody – credit as their ideal work environment. But that’s ok, because it works for me.

Before going to sleep, I quickly review my top three priorities for the next day. Then I make sure to get a good, long sleep. During the night, something magical happens.

As soon as I wake up, my brain is firing. (Don’t confuse me with an early morning person ... I'm anything but.)

So I grab my journal off the bedside table and start writing. I get my best ideas down on paper, and then the rest of the day is simple execution and refinement.

There are no limits to where you can do your best work….

My husband does his best thinking while running.

My good friend needs the background hum of her local coffee shop (and the caffeine jolt doesn’t hurt, either).

Some people need to put on a power suit and head over to the shared workspace they’ve rented.

It all comes down to finding what works for you and then carving out that time for yourself repeatedly.

>>Despite the voice in your head telling you that you don’t have time.

>>Despite the fact that you might look weird.

>>Despite the feeling that you’re just not motivated today, and so probably won’t find inspiration.

Just go there. Every day. One day at a time.

(Sometimes that's the very hardest thing to do for creative thinkers that love variety. But do it anyway.)

So I’m dying to know! Where do you find your best ideas? What tends to get in the way of your consistency?

We’re talking about all of this and more with fellow uncommon thinkers in The Uncommon Way Community. Come join us!

Here's to showing up for yourself and your dreams,
Jenna