Ep 135: How Lisa Boosted Revenue & Work Life Balance Simultaneously, w/ Lisa Stryker
Episode Summary
What if working less and stressing less could actually make you more money?
Many women entrepreneurs and corporate leaders believe that success comes from grinding harder. In this episode, Lisa shares key strategic tweaks that took her from overwhelmed and overworking to more revenue and ease—without overhauling her entire business.
In this episode, you will…
Discover how minor tweaks can completely transform your business outcomes without requiring a massive overhaul.
Find out how shifting your focus from doing more to doing what matters can unlock your thought leadership and attract opportunities you never expected
Find out why overthinking is actually under-feeling: Learn how shifting away from intellectualizing your emotions unlocks a new level of success.
Break free from the cycle of guilt and shame: Hear how a simple mindset shift helps you show up unapologetically and increase performance.
Hit play now to hear Lisa’s transformation and the mindset shifts that changed everything.
Get in touch with Lisa Stryker here:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisastryker/
Schedule a call with Jenna about joining the Clarity Accelerator--the same mastermind that we talk about in this episode--to dial in signature offers and strategies and a first-rate mindset.
https://www.theuncommonway.com/schedule
Sign up here to get on the waitlist for Power & Potency, the new mastermind for highly accomplished women entrepreneurs, and hear all new information as it's released:
https://www.theuncommonway.com/waitlist
Find Jenna on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theuncommonway/
The Uncommon Way is led by business coach Jenna Harrison, who helps women entrepreneurs feel confident, find their ideal clients effortlessly and avoid overwork so they can manifest money and abundance in their business and life.
This podcast empowers female entrepreneurs to overcome imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and limiting beliefs through somatics, mindset, and spirituality, create 7-figure offers, and build an online service business with clarity and alignment.
Full Episode Transcript:
Jenna Harrison: [00:00:00] There are some mind blowing truths about what it really takes to increase your revenue while working less and actually enjoying your life. And the sooner you learn them, the better.
You're listening to the Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast. The podcast that helps women entrepreneurs get clear on signature offers and strategies that sell themselves so you can lean back and stop the hustle. You will learn to maximize your mindset, messaging, and strategy. And step into the uncommonly successful business and life you are creating.
Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed over analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Welcome, welcome back to the uncommon way. I have got an episode for you today with one of my clients who has managed to create [00:01:00] more revenue while doing less and stressing less, and it is packed with jewels. Lisa Stryker is a leadership coach who has transformed herself and up leveled her business in six months and is graciously joining me to have a conversation about how she did it so that you can do the same for yourself.
In this episode, you will discover how minor tweaks can completely transform your business outcomes without requiring a massive overhaul. And, find out how shifting your focus from doing more to doing what matters can unlock your thought leadership and attract opportunities that you never expected.
You'll find out why overthinking is actually underfeeling. Those are Lisa's words, so good. And you'll learn how shifting away from intellectualizing your emotions unlocks a new level of success. And I'm going to give you a fourth takeaway to look forward to, just because there are so many gems in this [00:02:00] episode.
You'll break free from the cycle of guilt and shame. By hearing about how a simple mindset shift can really help you show up unapologetically and increase performance. So, let's get into it. So Lisa, thanks so much for coming on. Oh, thank you for having me. I'm really happy to be here. So, I think today we just want to help people who are really in it, right, in it in terms of the work, in it in terms of the stress, and we just want to show them how it's possible that by changing that you actually improve your results, which sounds so crazy when you're in it, and yet you're living proof of it.
So yeah. In this month alone, you told me you'll make more than you did in the first quarter one of last year, right? Yeah, that's absolutely right. I don't think I would have believed it was possible back then, so that's what we'll talk about today. Yeah, so let's talk about back [00:03:00] then. I think it's so interesting to always see like what you were coming for, what you really thought was important.
And then we'll talk about what you ended up working on and how that changed everything. But what was going on with you when we first started talking? Well, you know, I come from a corporate background and I was always a really good student. And so to me, I could felt like I could just hard work my way through anything.
So when I started this was this, I thought. I know how to do this. I know how to do hard work. I know how to figure things out. What I hadn't counted on was that when you start your own business, there's not a structure the way there is in school or in corporate, like there's no rubric for this. And what I can see in hindsight is where I was, is I had so much fear of making mistakes, fear of failure when things in my mind stopped working, which I think about that differently now.
But back then I thought, Oh, it's not working anymore. I'm going to fail and it stoked [00:04:00] all this fear that I had made a mistake going into this business. I had been so proud of myself for leaving a good job that I loved to follow my passion. And when things slowed down, I took it as a sign that it was not working.
And I put so much pressure on myself to just make it work and make money. And I was holding on so tightly because I could not tolerate the idea that I wasn't figuring it out fast enough for me. And to me, that sparked so much shame, the idea that I had made a mistake, that I was failing at so much shame, so much frustration.
I made it so much in your business. Yes. Invested a lot. Yeah. I really had had. Back then and I do now so much faith that it was going to work But what I've realized looking back is I was totally It was so much more challenging than I expected. And I [00:05:00] made that mean I wasn't up to the challenge. Oh, that's deep.
And it felt really bad, really bad. And I didn't always know what to do with that. So, yeah, I think I said this to you. I was, I recognize that I was totally in my own way, but I really had a hard time figuring out. how to get out of that place. You know, what exactly was in my way? And what did I need to change to elevate myself and expand?
Because when you're in it, it's hard to see that maybe your expectations were just out of line, or you couldn't have known what you didn't know. It really feels like there's some tactic I'm missing, or there is something that's, right, that must be going wrong, that needs to be fixed immediately, because this isn't how things should be.
Yeah, and I can't stay here. This is terrible. This feels terrible. I need to figure it out right now. In fact, I even remember thinking, because I had been [00:06:00] in a mastermind for quite a while, and I remember thinking, There's something that they know that they're not telling me. I mean, it seems silly now, but I know I had that thought.
Like, they're looking at me, and they're seeing what I'm doing wrong, and they just don't want to tell me. Yeah, it's really interesting because we all kind of have these thoughts, and we usually just shove them aside. We don't even really know full out necessarily that we're having those thoughts, but we are, and they're really messing with our game in terms of growing our business.
Oh, heck yeah. Messed with your game big time. And I know, I'm convinced that this is, well, first of all, I feel like coaching is what has kept me from quitting because what I've been through, this feeling and these thoughts and this sense of, I should have figured it out by now and I, I can't figure it out, which is a thought I've had is what leads a lot of people to [00:07:00] give up.
Yeah, and it's really all about perspective, because I'm noticing, I'm thinking about as we're talking in this interview, anybody listening to you right now, they don't know what level of income you're at in your business. And I really want everyone to know that. It doesn't matter because I've talked to women that have zero clients that are saying what Lisa's saying, obviously, Lisa, you're in the middle.
I've talked to people that are approaching seven figures and they're having the same thought. I can't get to seven figures. It's never going to work. I'm doing it wrong. There's something they know I can't do it. So it really isn't about everyone tends to think when I get to X number. Then I'll feel better.
Then I'll know I've made it, but it's not about the number. It's about the brain pattern. It's about the way of thinking. I can see that now, Jenna, but I wouldn't have believed you back then. I would, I remember thinking if I could just get to this [00:08:00] goal, then I'll know it's working. But I've been around enough people who are making far more money than I am and having the same struggles to know that what you're saying is true.
Yeah, sad but true. Yeah. Yeah. And it doesn't have to be that way. I hope that that's the message that comes out of this interview is I'm seeing the light now. It doesn't have to be just. One long river of misery. It really doesn't. Right, right. And in fact, as long as you keep it, one long river of misery, it prolongs the damn river.
Yeah, I've heard this, the more you're in a rush, the longer it will take, you know, that whole kind of maxim. I get it now. I get it now. But when you don't get it, then you think the solution? Is to keep your nose to the grindstone and work harder. Oh, absolutely. Yes. Yes. I mean, that's been my MO my whole life.
If something [00:09:00] quote, isn't working, I just work harder. Just do more. You can't just keep doing the same thing harder. At a certain point, you just hit a wall. And I think that's what people call getting stuck is. I know a lot of really hard workers, high achievers, people who really value having a strong work ethic and getting things done.
And I thought I could hard work my way through anything. What I didn't get was that the kind of work I was thinking of doing was not the work that I needed to do. And that the work you were doing, for instance, I'm thinking about if your messaging isn't on point, then you can keep putting out, you can work harder, quote unquote, and put out a post every day or two posts a day.
But if you're not really connecting with your clients and you don't really believe that you could attract those clients. Yada, yada, yada, then the posts don't do anything for you. They just waste time. Oh, [00:10:00] and that just feels like such a hamster wheel because I remember thinking, Oh, I just need to put out more content.
I need to be on more platforms. That whole cliche of do more, do more, do more without stopping to really think about how can I be more effective here? And also, I think. It's really insightful for, it's helpful for me to see that I also, when things stopped working the way I thought they should, or the way they had been, I felt like I had to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
It's like, well, this isn't working. So now I need to change everything. And it was just that running away from those negative feelings, those feelings of failure and shame and fear of looking stupid that put me in this place of trying to outrun. It really is. It's like you're trying to outwork or outrun those feelings instead of looking at them face on and [00:11:00] figuring out what they really mean to you and how to work through them.
Yes. So let's definitely talk about feelings because I know it's a big part of your story and your journey in a second. But I also, since we were just talking about messaging, you're right. You did not have to throw out the baby with the bathwater. You're still coaching women in corporate careers and you are still an amazing coach and everyone still knows you for doing the same type of work, but you made some really important tweaks.
Yes. And so, I know that if I were thinking high level about the tweaks you made, I would think about how you went deeper, first of all, into your own place of alignment, but then you also got really, really strategic about understanding exactly how your people talk about the problems that you know they want help with.
So, that's my assessment, but of course, people aren't tuning in to hear my [00:12:00] assessment. They want to hear from you. Yeah, yeah. How would you describe the tweaks you made? So, yes. When you say tweak, I just want to sit on that word for a second because that has been a really big change in my own perception of how to do this work.
And in other words, building a business as a solopreneur and finding my own voice. Is when things are not moving in the direction I want them to, it could be just simple tweaks. I mean, for me, I can't overemphasize the importance of that because we have a tendency, or at least I have a tendency to think I have to overhaul the whole thing.
And so to answer your question, the tweaks involved me spending much more time thinking about who I want to work with, the people I love working with. And how they talk about what their struggles are, what their hopes [00:13:00] are, what they want to achieve. And, you know, honestly, letting go of my own judgment. And getting out of my coach brain and allowing it to be what it is.
This is the way they're thinking right now and having so much compassion for that. And there's a certain amount of ego that comes into it. I think sometimes we're no, no, no, that's not what's happening. You think it's this, but it's really that. And. I mean, why am I, who am I arguing with, right? So I would say that the biggest shift for me was spending a lot more time going back through client notes, watching client session videos, doing market research and testing, testing the messaging and then recognizing what's catching and then where.
I'm saying the same thing, but in a way that is much more recognizable and resonant to my potential clients. [00:14:00] In a way that's landing, and you know it's landing, like you can see it, you can hear it, you're like, oh my gosh, and they repeated my words right back to me. Yes. Everything that I said, that's how they're describing themselves.
That is the best. Yes, then you know, and you know, it just creates such a beautiful feeling of connection. That I didn't even really expect that part of it. I always think of it as marketing, you know, it's part of my business, but really what it does is it deepens your connection with the people you work with because they feel so seen.
Yeah. And you feel, I mean, at least I feel a sense of safety when I know that the person I'm talking to is in fact my type of person, the person that I know I've called in. Right. It instantly creates a connection there because it's like they're saying, Oh, you're my person. And I'm saying, Oh, you're my person right then, you know?
Yeah. It's like what they say about listening to understand, you know, I'm in leadership [00:15:00] development and that's such a mantra, you know, active listening, listening and. Listen to understand listen before you speak and I kind of want to knock myself over against the side of my head because I was not doing that I was saying things the way I thought they should be said and not listening.
So listening to people and really spending more time getting in their heads and getting out of my head. But let's also talk about how much you resisted that and why, because it was so hard for you to take CEO time for yourself and work on these, like, deeper is my word, but these more strategic parts of your business.
Because you were in the doing, doing, doing. Oh, that's big too. Yes, you're absolutely right. I call it super thinking time and I actually really enjoy it. The time when I can just open up space in my calendar to really be strategic and refine my messaging [00:16:00] and review things. I mean, if you look in my hallway right now, my foyer, there's giant post it notes all on the walls.
Oh, so nice. I have taken the time to do that. Yeah. It's so fun. And my husband came home from work and he thought, Oh, and he said to me later that day, he said, I see what you've been up to. Um, and it's gives me so much joy, but it's been a long road to be able to give myself the permission to take that time.
Because I thought. If I can't take time away from creating clients, that was the way I thought about it. I need to be out there. I need to be visible. I need to be talking to people, posting content. And it goes back to what I said earlier about not listening. I have to listen to myself too. And I have to synthesize that information.
And really, that's the work that takes you from good to great. It does. Yeah, and you've just, your thought leadership has increased so much now that you've given yourself that space, and it just [00:17:00] is flowing forth, you know, and from what you tell me, there were aspects of it that were always there, but then you would stop it and overthink it.
And I've heard that from my clients too. So talk about that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Overthinking has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. And I think what happens is I want things to work instantly if they don't in whatever I decide is it's working, right? Yeah. Yeah. And it was just, it has been in the past a rush.
It was intolerable to let something float out there and feel like, oh, people don't get it. They're not understanding or I'm not saying it right. And I wouldn't give it enough time to actually figure out whether that was true or not and allow myself that space to experiment. Let's face it. That's what entrepreneurship is.
It's one long experiment and being curious and observant instead of judging [00:18:00] myself and telling myself, Oh, just more evidence that I'll never figure it out. That inner judge has been really strong through this whole journey. We have to talk about that for sure, because I think that's one area specifically where I've seen you just like much faster than many clients I've worked with, where you've been able to turn the table on that inner dialogue.
So we'll talk about that for sure. Along with emotions and how that has been. Strange, and yet freeing. That sounds right, strange and freeing. Yeah, yeah, you captured it right there. And didn't you also think with your thought leadership, maybe that's been said before, or you'd compare it to other thought leaders, and then it felt like you couldn't say it yourself?
Talk about that because you're not the first person. Yeah, that came up a lot. And I still notice it coming up where I tell myself, well, [00:19:00] this is nothing new. I'm not a social scientist. I'm not discovering new things. And I would feel like I'm just regurgitating someone else's information. And I would make that mean that it just wasn't valuable.
And so you wouldn't even put it out. Yeah. So I thought a lot of times I would think, why bother? You know, this has been said before so many times. I need to figure out something new. And at this point I have to interject. Yeah. I have to tell everyone that you are famous for your Lisa isms.
Every time you're in the group, you will say something in such a way where I'm like, Oh, I'm going to use that. Oh, that's a really good one. And your thought leadership, it's been such a, uh, such a, I don't want to use the word shame because we're going to talk about shame, but it's to tamp that down is a disservice to the world because so many people say to [00:20:00] you when you're explaining things, Oh, that's so good.
Oh my gosh, that helps so much. I get it now. It clicks. You tell me I love people say that they love when I say X or when I say it in this way, they really love it. And all of that was kept bottled up inside instead of going out and rocking your people's world. It's true. And it makes me a little sad just to even think about it now.
But then I really redirect to how proud I am. But like, even when you said my thought leadership, there's a little Like, can I call myself that? Well, I didn't, you did, but I really received that because it's true. My clients tell me all the time, I hear you in my head saying, love your reasons, you know, decide ahead of time, all the things that I teach them.
And I love that. And I take it as motivation and a sign that I do have something new to say. It's my way. of [00:21:00] saying all of this. I think I was telling you this, Jenna, but I started listening to Mel Robbins new book, Let Them. And there's not anything in that book that hasn't been said before, but she says it in her own way, her simple way and makes it so actionable.
And then that's what makes it so valuable. And she's got a huge audience. So it really kind of slid that into place. For me that idea that I all I need to do is find my way and and that's going to be helpful to my people and your people Resonate from with you and they want to hear it from you in your way And they won't hear it in the same way from someone else.
Yeah, I really believe that And it happens to me all the time, right? Same thing for me. Someone will say, Oh, this book is amazing, and then I'll read it and I think, Hmm, is it? Yes. So, let's talk about feelings. Actually, why don't we just go straight there and why don't you tell the [00:22:00] audience The amazing practice of like, just screaming, go rage.
Yes. Jenna, you have unleashed the beast. Yeah, I mean, in a nutshell, my life, a lot of my life was spent not allowing big feelings. It was just not permitted in a large part of my life. So I really never learned to how to allow and process. Really big feelings and tolerate. Yes. Yes. It felt very intolerable.
And as I've worked with you and the practice of really learning to tolerate and process and allow all of those feelings. It brought up some real rage in my, in my life. And I went to see Wicked one day, I took myself to the movies and I didn't know why. I've learned to trust, you know, I kept thinking, I need to go see this movie.
I don't know why. I'm just [00:23:00] going to trust that. I took myself to the movie. and something about it and defying gravity, that whole, there's this whole dramatic scene in there. That's amazing. Yes. I came out of that movie and I was so filled with rage and fights and real and the rage was coming from, I'm just sick of holding myself back.
I'm sick of not being able to express myself, not having the courage, not doing the things I know I want to do. And I'm telling you, I was in the car screaming. Somebody would have thought I was a crazy person if they really saw what I was doing, but I didn't care because it felt like it needed to come out.
And that was really freeing, honestly. Yeah. And I came home and I was crying and my husband, I said, everything's really fine, but I just, I just have to get this out of me. And he's amazing. He's so there for me, but just being able to tolerate is a [00:24:00] great word process, allow those big feelings has built my capacity to keep going and keep building.
Yeah, and the open thing is that you find as you do that that you don't need to scream as much That's right. And all the things that you were doing to avoid screaming like overeating or whatever it might be Yeah, that's definitely a thing anymore. That's right. Talk about that as well. Yeah I'm so glad you said that because I know when I first came to you.
I remember saying I've never cried so much Since I started this business and turns out I needed to cry, but what I recognize is I'm not crying as much, you know, I don't feel the need to rage. I don't feel that bottled up tension and anger and the lump in my throat because I'm trying not to cry. I just don't have that.
And I think what happens is I'm not afraid of it, for one thing, and I [00:25:00] allow all the feelings that come with. So they come at more in small doses now and it doesn't all build up to where I have to have this big emotional release. What that lets you do is you're not afraid to feel anything anymore. I really am moving to that place where I am so with myself where this may be disappointing, but okay, we can handle disappointment, you know.
Somebody might judge me or think this is not a good idea, but can we handle that? Yeah, we can handle that. It's fine. And sometimes I might have to cry or get angry, and that's okay. I know what to do with that now. And that's when you finally start doing all the things that would have made you, that you found all these convenient excuses not to do in the past, or you didn't even consider in the past, or you kept, you were still two years later trying to work up the nerve to do the things, right?
[00:26:00] But now all of a sudden you're like, nah, I can handle that. I can tolerate that. It really is like that. I mean, it sounds so cavalier in a way when I hear you say it, but it's really true. This is really how I talk to myself now. I can handle that. I'm just going to do it. I know I'm so much more in touch with that quiet voice that is the real me, the me who feels driven, who has a mission, who's in touch with her values than that scared.
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. In touch with my intuition. And not letting the scared part of me drive the bus all the time. Yeah. So I know when you first came to me, we're really kind of impressed, you said, with my calm demeanor and my quiet certainty. But what people don't realize is that to get there, you have to go through it in the way that you have.
Because now you are so calm and you have a quiet [00:27:00] certainty, which you always did, but now it's even more grounded, right? And you bounce back even more quickly. Well, there was an edge, I think, to me before. You know, I'm a mom, I've been through lots of hard things in my life. I know how to handle things, but in the past there was always an edge to it.
Like, I can power through this. I can handle anything, but it was more like a, uh, I don't even know how to describe it, but it felt different. It felt like I had to maintain control where now I feel like I can handle anything and I don't have to be in control. Which is true power, it really is, because the truth is, we don't have control, right, right, so right, you can recognize that and not be afraid of it.
Yeah, then there's nothing you can't do. What exactly what could stop you? Or do you feel comfortable [00:28:00] talking about how when you are in that, like, I can get through this, I can keep it together mode, that it somehow leaks out in different ways, and for you it was overeating, for other people it's like obsessive exercising, like there's usually some sort of, they call it buffering activity, right?
That happens when you can't just You know when you don't know how to tolerate emotion big emotion. Yeah, do you mind talking about you've seen in that? Yeah, it's Unexpected I guess but if I really think about it, I'm a coach I know that this all goes together. But yeah, not being so afraid of the feelings or finding them unacceptable I realized that I just found them unacceptable like I shouldn't be angry.
I shouldn't be afraid. You know, I was just judging all of the feelings. And so I would definitely, my buffering of choice tends to be overeating and watching TV. Those are, and if I could do both at the same time. [00:29:00] Yeah. Yeah. Even better, but not better. So Be getting to this place where I realize I don't have to be in control and that's okay, like I'll figure it out releases that need to try to get away, like somehow not think about it, not deal with it, try to push it down, stuff it down.
Like when I'm overeating, I feel like I'm stuffing it down. It's not acceptable. So I need to cover it up. And so the more I move away from that, the less I rely on that. And the more I cannot leave this out, the more I give myself permission to have fun. This can be fun. I don't have to always be thinking about work or doing something, quote, responsible around the house.
The more fun I have, the more creative I am, the more courage I have, the more energy I have, it all goes [00:30:00] together. That's right. The more usable you are, the more, yes. That's right. Yes, and the more relaxed you are and then you have creative ideas and you sit down and write amazing content. Let's talk about that because I know that you felt really guilty and I've talked about this before so I have a feeling you'll be totally open book to talking about it but really feeling guilty that your husband is making more money than you and that you're not contributing as much.
Absolutely. It still comes up and I still have to put it in its place. But yeah, dealing with it's a great example because that was something I didn't want to look at. Yeah. I didn't want to recognize it and deal with it. And so I definitely felt so guilty in what it drove me to do this overworking thing.
Like, I have to make this work. I need to figure this out because I don't want to have this feeling anymore. I don't want to feel guilty anymore. Instead of facing head on, [00:31:00] like, what's really going on here? Yeah. And by the way, how about you have a conversation with him? Because, you know, I have an amazing marriage.
There's no reason for me not to be. Talking to him about things. So yeah, it definitely drives you to this place of where you're trying to force something to happen instead of being thoughtful about it. Yeah, and I know that it's also it was very self punishing because even when you were trying to enjoy time with him or with the family or any time outside of work, your way to make sure that you were still thinking of content or right still thinking about the business.
Or at least feeling bad enough as you should that the business wasn't where you want it to be, right? And so you could never have fun. And the ironic thing is that now your business is doing better and you have like real quality time. Like, talk about Christmas, talk about the holiday period. Oh my gosh, yeah.
We had a very quiet [00:32:00] holiday time this year and it was a lot of just relaxing and spending time together with family, with my husband. And I didn't feel compelled to constantly think about work. I was able to turn my, that part of me off and fill my cup. You know, I worked up until I decided I was not going to work anymore and then I stopped.
And, and then also there were a couple things I wanted to do through the holidays and I just let myself do it and not make it a big deal. That was a decision. It wasn't doing it out of compulsion, but I came out of the holidays. not just feeling revitalized and creative and energetic and full, but I also recognized that I needed to make some changes about how I That guilt was preventing me from going out and doing things that I really enjoy that create that feeling that makes me want to work, that makes me want to serve, that makes me want to think about my [00:33:00] clients and what they need from me.
And so I've been doing a lot more fun things, including things I really want to do, like exercising. I wouldn't even make time for that sometimes because I thought, no, I need to be working. I should be making more money. And yeah, it's, it's a mess. Oh my goodness. I know so many people can relate. to all of this.
I'm sure. I'm sure. So the last thing I want to make sure and then I want to see if there are any loose ends for you, but I want to talk about this thing that happens, this difference in this qualitative, I don't know, sensational difference when something finally lands in your body. And what that means is, for you, you've done a lot of personal development work, you yourself are a coach, and there have been things, though, that we know intellectually, and talk about what changes when you've described it to me, you're like, oh my gosh, I can tell this has [00:34:00] finally landed in my body.
So talk about that. Yeah, well, you know, I'm a thinker, you know, I love to live in my head and, and it serves me really well until it doesn't anymore because what I've discovered is I can't think, figure it all out cognitively. I need to. Let my body be connected and I think it all ties back to what we talked about like Allowing the rage and just getting it out of me letting myself feel guilty and getting curious about that You know, why do I want to keep feeling guilty?
Is this helping and Letting myself feel my way through these ways that I want to be who I want to be and not just being a platitude and affirmation a quote that I heard somewhere, but actually letting it sink into my body and letting it land and become like a groundedness in me. What that means to me, like, I feel a visceral [00:35:00] shift when I am letting go of resistance.
I guess that's what it is, is not allowing for the new way of thinking to change me. Whereas, I think what I used to do was if I think hard enough, if I think about it hard enough, then suddenly I'll be a different person, you know, but I was gatekeeping from my body. I was not allowing it to Sink in to like, I really believe so much in the mind body connection now, and I've decided that overthinking is underfeeling and it just keeps you stuck if you're overthinking because you're trying to avoid feeling.
And when you let go and just relax into it and lean into it and let it feel however it's going to feel, sometimes it feels uncomfortable. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it feels like amazing, but you'll never know if you don't allow it to travel through you. [00:36:00] And that's when things really click and you start behaving differently.
And I call it sticking with it long enough for the magic to happen. Sometimes it feels the most uncomfortable right when it's going to take hold. Yeah. And just relaxing into that and letting it ground you. Yeah. And then it shows up all throughout your life and people start noticing. I remember you had a big family event that before probably would have gotten you all triggered in certain ways, but you noticed that you were like the central grounded piece of it.
And that everyone was actually thanking you for your presence throughout that week. Am I getting that right? Yeah. Yeah. We had a couple of, we had a big family gathering, you know, as with big family gatherings, there are a couple of sticky situations that come up and I just show up differently now. I handle things with a calmness.
But also I allow for like a sense of humor, you know, it's not we have to fix this It's you know, how can [00:37:00] I lead through this? You know, I'm all about leadership. So showing up as a leader is Being an integrity being centered being the calm in the storm and I really take pride in doing that in a much More, you know, I think people have always known they can rely on me, but there's a certain calm confidence that I feel that I hadn't felt in the past, because now I truly believe whatever happens, I'll figure it out.
Such a good note to end on. But let me just make sure before you tell people about exactly where they can find you and if they know anyone that needs you. Is there anything that you would want to let people know? It could be anything we haven't talked about, any like, misconceptions that they might have about working with me, or the process, or what we do, about coaching.
Well, I've learned that [00:38:00] you really can release shame, but first you have to recognize when it's showing up for you. I realized through my work with you, I think it was already bubbling up, but it really started to come to the surface and recognizing that shame was driving me and maybe like trying to avoid shame was driving me, but I didn't recognize it as shame right away.
And I think it feels like is feeling ashamed or in anticipation of feeling ashamed and prevents you from doing things you want to do. So what I have realized, and I've put this framework around it that I love sharing with people is that once you recognize it or that you're anticipating it. you can have a little talk with yourself and say, is shame appropriate here?
A shame is only appropriate when I'm acting out of integrity with who I want to be. So if I'm intentionally hurting someone, for example, I want [00:39:00] shame to come up because I don't want to be that person. But if I'm thinking about launching a workshop and I'm worried that no one will sign up and I'll feel so ashamed of that.
No, no, no, no. That is not a place for shame. If nothing else, I can feel proud of myself for having the confidence and courage to put it out there. So I now recognize when shame is coming up by how it feels in my body or the anticipation of shame. And I can simply decide, is shame appropriate here? And if not, I can move on to something that's more helpful.
And that is such a good takeaway. Yes. It's a complete revelation. When I hear myself say it, it sounds so simple. And it is simple. And it is incredibly profound, like it literally is changing my life day by day to be able to see it and put it in its place and decide that I'm not going to let it hold me back anymore.
And I think there's [00:40:00] so many women who are being controlled by their shame and they just don't even realize it. Yes. It doesn't have to be that way. Their shame and their guilt, absolutely. Yeah, and I really think they go hand in hand. Absolutely. So I just could not share that. No, so good. Because I even said earlier, that was one of the things I wanted to talk about because you've been able to release that so much more quickly than many people that I've worked with.
And that, and also your ability, like we all come in with such a strong negativity bias. And so many of us live so much of our life in that space, not realizing that it's optional, that we actually don't have to live in that way. And you're another, that's another thing because we're in now our second round, but it's really just been those six months that we were working together where all of these huge changes were happening for you.
And that happened just really quickly that you were able to just. absolutely gain leadership in your [00:41:00] own brain of those parts of you that were driving the shame or driving the negative thinking and driving the keeping yourself safe from getting too excited or anticipatory or believing that something like be happier in your work and you'll actually make more money like any of that craziness.
Yeah. Right. What are you talking about? I just have to work harder. That's always the answer. Yeah, absolutely. It's incredibly freeing. And I think I heard myself say leaders lead themselves first. One too many times and then I realized, what am I doing here? I have the opportunity to lead myself. And so I'm stepping into that and it's just incredible.
I can't overstate the effect it's had on myself and I look forward to seeing how that's going to play out in my business. Yes, and that is a perfect example of landing in the body. Yes. You can say it over and [00:42:00] over, lead yourself, be the leader in your own mind, and right, and you can say that we shouldn't feel shame and that shame is And you can say these things and know them intellectually, but it doesn't, you know, there's a point where it finally sinks into your body.
And I think that's what you and I, why we're talking today. We wanted to let women know some of these, you know, more advanced concepts or things that were not taught in high school, right? But know that if you're on the path there as Lisa was, right, it happens. There comes a point where it will land in your body, you'll, you'll listen to the podcast, or you'll find the book, or you'll work with the coach, or whatever method it is for you, these shifts will happen, and then it will just, oh, you'll just be different.
Yes. Yes. You just be different. Stick with it long enough for the magic to happen. It is not linear. It is messy. It is emotional [00:43:00] and it's all the things that we perfect achievement oriented ladies want to avoid. We want to always look like we're so put together, let yourself fall apart a little bit, and then put yourself back together in a way that feels so much better to you.
So good. Lisa, if anybody knows. anyone that needs a leadership coach. And you can maybe give us a little more detail about who your people are, but we want to know what that is, what's available to the people that work with you in if they do the work, of course, and then also where people can find you, please.
Yeah, absolutely. I love working with corporate women who are either already in leadership or aspiring to. Move into leadership and I help them cultivate their leadership presence and when the respect and recognition they deserve because you know, you want to make an impact out there and you, the only way to do that is by developing your own [00:44:00] self respect.
And this is new, but I'm going to share it and learning to brag. We're going to take back the word brag ladies. And Brad, to me, is boldly recognizing achievement and growth, and we need to be out there doing that. Yes, yes, yes, I love it. You actually, because of the date of this recording, you have not heard the podcast where I have all of the statistics about how women are.
Right? Consistently underrepresent themselves. So that it's fun because everyone will have listened to that and then they'll be hearing you. And it hopefully will really, really land. But that was so well said and so beautiful. And I know that all of you listening are like, feeling like I am into Lisa's thought leadership and how we do want to hear her voice and how she says things because.
They're so clear and they're so, yes, they just land for us so well. So keep up the good work. Lisa, where can people find you? [00:45:00] Well, go look for me at lisastriker. com or I spend a lot of time on LinkedIn. You can find me there. And I would love to talk to anyone that you know, who's looking to elevate their leadership and learn to brag.
Let's do this. Let's do it. Yes. Thank you, Lisa, so much for coming on and sharing your story. Thank you for having me, Jenna. I have to say that it's so funny to think about, probably a year ago, I couldn't wait to meet you. And now here I am on your podcast. So fun. Yes. Love it. All right. Bye. Bye, everybody. Oh, I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did.
There's so many great nuggets and takeaways. So to wrap up for you, remember, you can't just work harder at the same thing and expect different results. Sometimes the smallest tweaks change everything. And since entrepreneurship is one long experiment, don't be afraid of tweaking things. Success comes from [00:46:00] curiosity, not perfection.
Plus, overthinking is just underfeeling, in Lisa's wise words. The more you try to outrun fear and shame and other strong emotions, the longer they chase you. Facing them is where freedom begins. You no longer need to be in control of everything because you can handle anything. That is true power. Okay, my friend, that's it for today.
Let's talk again on Tuesday. Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.
Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to [00:47:00] theuncommonway. com slash schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.
Thanks for joining us here at the Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the clarity first strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit the uncommon way.com. See you next time.
