Episode Summary

Jenna shows you how your beliefs about selling are affecting the way you show up in your business and gives you a new approach to sales.

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Show Notes

How do you feel about selling? Does it fill you with confidence and ease or do you want to hide away and avoid it altogether? Long ago, you formed an opinion about sales, and it probably wasn’t a very positive one. Now, here you are, running a business and having all this mind drama about having to generate revenue by – you guessed it – selling. But what if it didn’t have to be this way? What if you could sell more by trying less?

Whether conscious or subconscious, the beliefs you currently hold about selling are affecting the way you market and sell. But just like all the other norms we’re upending, we can start doing things differently, and that includes selling. So this week, I’m helping you create your own uncommon approach to sales.  

In this episode, learn two beliefs that could be affecting your sales and how to start selling more by trying less. Discover a counterintuitive approach to selling that will change everything for you, and I lead you through a somatic exercise so you can experience what this feels like.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• How what is meant for you will not pass you by.

• Why people have a tendency to go overboard when it comes to sales.

• How to believe the best of yourself and your client.

• Why the way you are offering your product or offer could be obscuring its value.

• How to identify where you may be overselling.

• Why striking the right balance is easy once you build a body of belief about your offer.

• How to move out of desperate energy and start selling with confidence and conviction.

Listen to the Full Episode:

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• Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Full Episode Transcript:

Long ago, you formed an opinion about sales, and it probably wasn't a very positive one. And now here you are, running a business and having to generate revenue by, ugh, selling. But you know what? Just like all the other norms were upending, we can do things differently. Why don't we create our own uncommon approach to sales?

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach, and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, friends, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I am back from my mastermind retreat in Mexico; it was fantastic. I went whale watching. I saw all this activity; mamas and babies and breaching whales, and tail slapping, and all the things in this huge room from which I could watch the sunrise over the Sea of Cortez. So romantic.

It was this full luxury, all-inclusive. And get this, I could have room service every day if I wanted, at no extra charge. Or, I could enjoy the wonderful restaurants. My favorites were the alfresco ceviche restaurant. They had this tostada with fresh crab and avocado. It was the most tender crab I've ever had. There was another restaurant where the chef had not one but two Michelin stars. I was tripping over myself; I was so excited.

But the most important thing of all, of course, was the accelerated mental uplevel that's possible when you're exchanging ideas with other people who are focused on the same things as you. It's like a true retreat for the mind.

And you're pulling your wisdom, and you're being challenged to make powerful and scary decisions. Depending on where you live, entrepreneurism can feel a little lonely. And the more that we can get together, the more invigorating and the better. Right?

So, right now, I'm super inspired with so many great things that I want to bring back to you all. So, stay tuned, right? There's lots and lots of good stuff coming your way.

Now, the inspiration for this particular episode came as I was in the airport about to leave. Somebody was selling something to me, and I became absolutely enthralled thinking about what he must be thinking in that moment, to say the things he was saying and do the things he was doing. I'll describe what was going on in a second, but my hunch is that it all boiled down to two very common but very unhelpful beliefs.

I'm going to break those down for you so you can think about whether you have them too. They likely don't show up for you the way they were showing up for him, or at least I hope not. But if they're there at all, they're affecting your sales and, therefore, your impact in the world. And this is true whether you're a coach doing direct sales calls or if you're selling physical products via email or your website.

At the end, we're going to talk about how you can sell more by trying or convincing less. That's right, sell more by trying less. And what that looks like. It's very counterintuitive, but it will change everything for you. And then, I'm going to walk you through a somatic exercise at the end so you can feel what this feels like, too, in case you've never actually experienced it for yourself.

Okay, so here I am in the airport with some time to kill, and I wander into the store with beauty products. I always look for beauty products when I travel. Greece has my favorite, by the way, you should check them out. They're all organic and very gentle.

While I was in there, there was this very friendly associate, and he was helping me, and he suggested I try this miracle product, right? It's this infrared light device. I agreed, so he went and got this esthetician who was going to demonstrate it for me.

Now, it turns out that the esthetician was in charge of selling me the product, too. Ask me how I know. Okay, instead of giving you the whole play-by-play, I'm just going to give you a few key examples. But I want you to be thinking, as I'm telling you about this, think about what might have been motivating those actions. Like, what was the exact thought or belief that led to each of them? Ready? Okay, this is gonna be fun.

So first, he told me that he knows everything about skin because he has a med spa on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. And they do every kind of cosmetic enhancement procedure imaginable there. Out of all of them, this product is his very favorite.

And the only reason he's here, in a store in an airport today, is because he's training his staff. Right? Even though there was nobody listening to his demonstration, it was just him and me, but he was there training his staff. Instead of being on Rodeo Drive in his very successful med spa. Okay?

Number two, he kept showering this praise on me about how beautiful I am. And the less I reacted, it was like the harder he tried to pour on the personality.

Number three, he kept saying that this was NASA technology and would pull up a pre-loaded Google Images search on his iPad to show infrared light being used in different medical procedures. And when I asked him questions… I asked him how his product was any different than any other infrared products. Like that one that's a mask. Have you seen that? You just put this mask on, and it just glows?

Well, he just dismissively waved behind him, and he said, “Oh, yeah, we sell those things, too. But they're really awful. And this one's the best because they work with NASA.” It's like, why are you selling it if you think it's so awful? Anyway.

Number four, when it came time to talk price, he pulled up this website that showed the product with an inflated price, quadruple that of what he was selling it for. And then, he quickly closed it out so I couldn't see the website. But there’s a product, and there's a price; that’s all I see.

And number five, all of this was very choreographed. He had all the web pages pulled up already on his iPad. And he kept directing my attention back to those visuals and asking me lots of questions where the response would be yes, etc.

Okay, I don't know about you. But I was having so much fun watching his thoughts on display. But I'm curious how you feel right now. Just check-in? Are you also thinking this is so fun? Or are you feeling disgusted? Judgmental? Maybe a little defensive? Triggered, remembering an old-school sales experience that you've been involved with? Or, are you sorry for him that I'm poking fun at him in this situation? Feeling bad for him because he's just trying to sell the thing and make a living.

This is important. Because in my experience, we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to this type of salesperson, to this type of sales method. Some of us do everything we can to not be this person because we have such a strong visceral reaction to it. And we never want to do that to someone else or be “that kind of person.” Right?

If you think about it, is there anyone lower on the ethical totem pole than the stereotype of the used car salesman? Or, perhaps Bernie Madoff, you know, the Ponzi scheme people that are so hungry for money they'll do anything? That's very, very low on the totem pole. These are the outcasts of society. And we don't like being outcasts, right? We don't like anyone to frown upon our behavior.

So, you hold back consciously or subconsciously when it comes to selling. You avoid selling altogether. Or, you avoid being visible in your selling. Or, you dance around the selling process. Maybe you avoid including calls to action, or your language is just watered down like you're tiptoeing on eggshells.

You might be thinking that the only way to sell is to oversell, and you don't want to do it. Or that you don't even want to do any kind of selling because you don't want to be associated with salespeople at all. So, you're basically telling your people and the universe that you don't really want people to buy right now.

Listen, I have been there. I remember the first time I was doing a push to get people into my Facebook group. I wasn't even selling them anything. I was offering to give them free, valuable advice in my group. But just the ask, just posting in other Facebook groups in their promo threads, made me feel like I needed to go shower. Oh my god, that seems like eons ago, but I can still remember it.

Having come to the other side now, I am here to tell you that any energy that you are putting into avoiding that and trying not to be like that is energy you are leaking. And I guarantee it is showing up as lost revenue. Now, it's natural that you don't want to be that. But it's not productive that you're questioning that you might be that. You are not.

You might have gone a little far with something in the past. A shadow side might have taken the reins briefly. But the fact that you're concerned and course-correcting already shows that you are not that person. Stop letting those people affect your results.

Okay. Now, what do you think he was thinking and believing during all of this? What was coming up for you? To me, it can be summarized in two main core beliefs:

Number one, this is how it has to be done. This is how it has to be done, which led him to act performatively and didn't allow for any variation based on the client. You know, he didn't ask me any questions about my level of knowledge or awareness, any of my pain points, etc. He just had this script, and he was sticking to the script because someone somewhere must know better than he does. Kiss of Death.

The second belief, hear me when I say this, this is a big one. He was believing that the person in front of him will say no unless he does something about it. You hear that? We believe that the person in front of us will say no unless we do something about it instead of believing that they'll most likely say yes.

Now, let's get real. I am a white woman. And we white women age. And I've been around the sun a time or two. Plus, I have disposable income. And I've just been on vacation, and I've been pampering myself. Why not pamper myself a little more?

I am a fantastic candidate for actually saying yes to this. I'm like the ideal customer. Why not assume that? I'll say yes. It really doesn't make much sense. But inventory your thoughts right now. Because if you're noticing that you think this too, that you think most people would say no rather than say yes, then when you do try to sell, you'll probably be overselling.

And on some subconscious level, your people might be like me in Mexico. Why is he trying so hard here? Right? It feels overboard. So, something must be off. This could be the best product ever. I wouldn't know because my alert system went up, and I felt like I had to be on the defensive. Right?

When someone's saying, “This product is the best ever. You can’t afford to miss this. It's so valuable that it's usually really, really expensive. But you can get it for a quarter of the price. Aren't you lucky?” I mean, none of us talk like that. We kind of do, in different ways sometimes.

There’s all these acrobatics, even though the person literally signed up to get on a call with you, or they clicked on your ad, or they searched and found your website. Newsflash, they want to buy; they really, really want their problem solved, and they're hoping to leave with a solution.

Your product might be the best in the world like I said, but the frame through which you're offering it is obscuring the value. It's the frame which creates the result of yes or no, usually not the product. I'll say that again. It's the frame that creates the result of yes or no, usually not the product.

But what if you believed in the best of yourself and your client? It's an option, you know. There are people in this world that believe they have something uniquely valuable to offer in this world. And they believe that their people are very happy and excited to buy it.

Some of you might be nodding and saying, “Actually, I already believed that.” But just check-in. Just check in and get a little real. Do you ever move into convincing energy? Not like the airport guy, exactly. But maybe you just want to make sure they know how credentialed you are. And, “Oh, this is actually a really great price.” And that you really have to turn up your energy and be on and create this good bond. There's no shame here.

But you could probably be making more sales. Even people that know nothing about energetics are very good at picking up on your energetics. They can't describe what leads them to say no. So, they'll say, “Something just doesn't feel quite right right now. Let me think about it some more.”

When you stop overselling, when you actually try less, it creates a sense of safety and trust for your people. They can enjoy the fun of buying and create that change that they want in their life. What is more exciting than that?

There's a scene in the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall. My husband, by the way, loves anything that Judd Apatow has ever created. So, I've seen them all. I think I've seen every Judd Apatow movie. Anyway, Paul Rudd is a surf instructor in Hawaii, and he's giving Jason Segel his first surf lesson, so they’re on the sand. Paul’s like, “No, don't think, don't try.” Every time Jason jumps up, Paul Rudd was like, “No, you're trying too hard. Stop thinking.”

Finally, Jason Segel just lays there on the surfboard, and Paul’s like, “Well, okay, try a little harder than that.” If what I'm saying right now sounds like, “Don't try. But okay, don't lay on the surfboard either,” striking the right balance, it really isn't that hard.

Once you've built up a body of beliefs about how your offer is so unique and differentiated from anything else out there. And a body of beliefs about how you and your exact chosen people are such an ideal match, like a made-in-heaven type fit. It really is that simple.

Think about it. If you really believe that, that you and your people, it's just kismet. Right? And that you have this perfect fit offer that's exactly what they've been hoping for. Then you would not be believing that they're about to say no, and you really need to convince them to say yes, right?

If you've been walking around looking for the matching glass slipper, and I have the exact matching pair, you're not going to be like, “I'm not really sure. I don't really think this is a good idea.” You'd be like, “Hallelujah! I found the glass slipper.”

Now, if you're feeling like this is an area that you really need to strengthen for yourself, and you're in the Clarity Accelerator, just go to modules four and five, where we make those very powerful decisions about who your people are, and we get to know them deeply. And then, head the module seven, where we tease out the secret sauce of your offer.

That's where you'll find what you're looking for here. Because you want to get really clear on those before moving into the Uncommon Selling of module nine. Because if you haven't cleaned up your thoughts about all this, you won't be able to get the most out of that information. No matter what you do, it will still be off for your people.

Now, we don't realize just how much our hidden beliefs get in our way, so don't skip over this part. I was just coaching a multiple six-figure earner about this while I was there at the mastermind. The way she said it was, she had difficulty overcoming objections, and she wanted to understand how I was able to convert so highly. Especially to cold traffic; to people that had not been on my list. Didn't know me. Right? They just had a conversation with me and decided to say yes.

But what that focus on objections is telling me is that she's thinking she needs to convince them during the objection phase if she wants to have more clients and stop leaving money on the table. So, she's thinking that the reason she's not making as many sales is because she doesn't know how to overcome objections.

But I didn't coach her on overcoming objections. Although, it's not that objections are a big deal, right? People have human brains. And sometimes, those brains will offer an objection, and that shouldn't make us uncomfortable. I coached her to more fully own the value of what she was offering and who her ideal people were. This is my simple system, after all; know yourself, know your people, and then connect the dots for them.

She wasn't clear on how her mission necessitates that she be discerning with the clients she brings on. And she wasn't deeply understanding her secret sauce in a way that makes it obvious that she was the premier choice for her people. Because she was spending her focus thinking about what to do if they say no, right?

She was doing everything in her power to grace the way to them saying yes. Meaning she wasn't interviewing them. She wasn’t discerning. I'll say that again: She was doing everything in her power to grace the way to them saying yes. Meaning she wasn't interviewing them at all.

If you really believed that you're here to do this specific thing. And this offer wants to move through you and is perfect for this specific type of person that you're here to connect with. In order to fulfill this purpose, in order for both of you to fulfill this purpose, then you'd make sure that this is your person, right? Because those are the people that say yes.

You're not thinking about them saying no; you’re diving deep into seeing if they're your people. With uncommon selling, we aren't trying to make them say yes. We aren’t overselling, because we know we're sitting on fucking gold. We know this coming together is like two magnets; what is meant for you will not pass you by. Okay, I have to say that one again, too: What is meant for you will not pass you by.

This was really surprising to her when I was coaching her on this. But she had never thought about interviewing her clients. She'd never even thought that it was fair for her to actually ask some questions. To push back on them a little bit about whether they were going to be committed enough or make the time, or be resourceful.

For instance, if I'm on a call with someone, and they're telling me how overwhelmed and busy they are, you can bet that at some point, I'm going to ask them how they plan to make room in their schedule for coaching, given how busy they feel, right?

So, there's never a situation where I tell someone my price, and then they say, “Well, I just don't know if I have time right now. But maybe I'll do it in a few months.” I don't get those kinds of objections. And I can relax into this because I believe so fully in my offer and my right people that I'm willing to not try.

I don't want to sell to people that are actually a no, in the greater interest of finding the people that I've already decided want what I'm offering enough to move mountains to make it happen. And since my beliefs are so strong, and they pick up on that, they feel even more safe to say yes; it’s like a virtuous cycle.

I've said this before, but conviction sells, and so does resonance. When you know you're looking for someone willing to move mountains and they know there's someone willing to move mountains, it's like there's this collective, albeit subconscious, sigh of relief. Like, “Oh, good, we found each other.”

And for those of you who don't do sales calls, I'm challenging you to see how this is relevant to you and relates to you. Is there verbiage on your site where you're plainly stating who this is not for? Are you willing to be specific about who you're calling in? Or are you trying to cast the biggest, broadest net? I see you. I've seen it all.

I can take one look at a person's website and know, not to creep you out or anything, but I'm very attuned to this. I think it's one of the superpowers I developed growing up as a military kid. We were moving all the time, so I had to learn to read people very quickly and pick up on their interests and motivations. I couldn't always rely on the norms of body language because I was moving to cultures where the norms didn't always apply, right? So, I had to learn to read what was going on behind the facade.

And what we present, either in person or on our website, is a type of facade. It's the way we're choosing to present ourselves, and it always reflects our internal world.

Okay, before we close, I want to take you through an exercise. You’re probably used to a slightly or highly activated nervous system when it comes to selling. And when I give you a different experience, I want you to feel this deeply in your body so we can start rewriting that programming.

If possible, just sit down for a minute with your eyes closed or lay down. If you can't, that's okay. But it will really help this sink in in a different way if you can. So if you are driving right now, or whatever's going on, you might want to revisit this later, again, okay? And again. And again. And again. It never hurts to feel, and feel, and feel our way into what we want to create.

Okay, take a few deep breaths. And with each exhale, imagine that your breath is blowing the autumn leaves off of a small tree. Imagine those leaves just floating to the ground. Each exhale is helping those leaves just fall to the ground and come to deep rest. Good.

When all the leaves are on the ground, imagine now you're turning your vision to a future place in time. It's you going about your business as your future self. You're feeling into how your body feels, and you feel power radiating, pulsing through your body. As you tune into it, you know the deep confidence and conviction that you feel about yourself, about your offer, your people, and your work in the world.

And now, you notice that you're in a large room filled with people. There are so many people, but you don't blend in. Your energy, it's like it taps people on the shoulder, and they just turn to look. They can't help but be pulled towards you.

You're moving slowly through the crowd, meeting people, smiling warmly, and stopping to talk briefly. Each time you do, you're just searching. Is there that clique of resonance? If not, you part friends, and you move on. It's a very big room, after all.

And then, at some point, you meet someone, and you end up speaking to her longer. This conversation is becoming more and more interesting. You're speaking clearly, concisely, and very calmly. You don't have to be anyone you're not. She doesn't have to be anyone she's not. There's deep resonance here. You two just know. You decide to join forces. You know that you are two powerful people who, together, can do something amazing. It feels right. It feels safe.

You’ve felt that before. Ask your body to show you exactly what that feels like. Yes, imagine feeling that safety, even with showing up as your fullest, most powerful, most extraordinary self. Yes, even then you feel very, very, very safe.

Okay, my friends, feel free to stay here in this grounded, powerful energy for as long as you'd like. This is where you belong.

Thank you so much for joining me here today. And I wish you so much success in the coming week. And remember, friends, you know who you are. You know who you are. And each day, you're stepping further into what you are here to create.

Hey, if you're a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this. Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation.

Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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