Unsupportive family or friends? The surprising truth about what it means

“Ohhhh.”

It’s the sound we’ve all heard before ... the sound that seems to say:

“I’m not going to say this to your face yet, so instead I’ll just express my thoughts through a lack of enthusiasm and some little jokes here and there … because what I really think is that you’ve lost your mind. There’s no way you’re going to be able to make that happen.”

When the people around you (especially people you really care about) criticize your dreams or even maybe just don’t quite get what you’re trying to do, it’s never enjoyable.

“It really feeds the doubt monster. I let it get me off track …. I know better but for some reason I still let it happen.” --Sandra, entrepreneur

Why we care what others think

We’re wired to want to please the people in our circle and not make waves, because when people get along they tend to stick together. Thousands of years ago, that could mean life or death! The more cooperative and conformist you were, the more likely you’d survive and pass on your genes. 

That’s why even today, when our survival really doesn’t depend much on the opinion of others, we continue to experience discomfort when we perceive that we’re not seeing eye-to-eye. And some people experience that sensation more strongly than others.  

Fun fact: Scientists can temporarily change whether or not we care what others think, just by targeting the appropriate region of the brain.  

What’s going on when they disagree

But there’s a little more to the story than that…

Stick with me, because I’m about to bring up two things that seem contradictory but are both completely true.

It’s all about them

Everything from our backgrounds to our brain chemistry shapes how we feel about risk. Some people believe life is better when you play it safe, and others can’t imagine how dull their life would be without taking chances.

Your big bold dreams will set off warning bells for risk-averse people, and they’ll want to “save” you. 

The friction comes if someone thinks the other should be more like them, rather than just letting things be. 

Tip #1: Understand that most risk-averse people have great intentions and probably believe you’re really about to self-destruct, but their opinion is no more valid than yours. It’s just different.

And sometimes, people aren’t just looking out for your best interests. They might actually be reacting to what your risk-taking means about themselves. 

• Is your partner worried that your relationship will change if you reach the success you’re looking for? 

• Is it hard for your mom to face the fact that her little girl doesn’t “need” her anymore? 

• Deep down, does your friend feel like she should take more risks, so if you succeed at something she wants for herself, she’ll be forced to take a hard look in the mirror rather than blaming events or circumstances in her life?

It gets complicated!

But that’s okay. Luckily, you don’t have to figure out everyone’s backstory … that’s for them to do. All you have to remember is that there can be a lot going on beneath the surface.

Tip #2: Remember that your actions, and the results of your actions, make people reflect on their own life and choices. You may be touching a nerve that you didn’t even know existed.

Unfortunately, this is why people sometimes fade from our lives when we start making big changes. The process of separation can hurt, but in the long run it’s less painful than conforming to someone else’s idea of how you should live your life.

“Negativity is contagious and when I have positive people around me they are encouraging and supportive!” -- Megan, soldier

Tip #3: Don’t be the person that dims your light for someone else’s benefit! Yes, they should be able to voice their opinions candidly to you, but they should ultimately agree that it’s your decision. 

It’s all about YOU

Let’s say you were lying in the park on a lazy Sunday, gazing up at the sky with your bestie.

“I just love looking at the clouds in the green sky,” she says.

“You mean blue sky,” you say.

“The sky’s not blue. It’s green!” she replies, looking at you as if you were crazy.

You friend may not see things your way … but her words don’t cut you to the core like they would if she were talking about your business plan. 

The difference is that you believe 100% in the blueness of the sky, but more like 50% in your ability to pull off that dream of yours. And while a certain level of uncertainty is natural with all new things, you need to be absolutely clear that you should be doing this and that your decisions are yours to make. 

“I realized that the more I believed in myself and my own goals, the less it mattered if other people did.” --Tom, athlete

And the people around you, especially the people that are closest to you, can read you like an open book. After all, only about 7% of communication comes through the words you use … the rest comes from nearly imperceptible variations in things like your tone of voice and body language.

Not only are those people reacting to the signals you’re putting out, but you are actually bringing those people and comments into your orbit so that they can reflect your inner beliefs back to you.

Why would you do that? Because your brain is wired to seek out evidence to support your beliefs. So if you think you’re making a dumb choice, your brain will find ways to help prove it!

It’s a big, vicious cycle. You doubt yourself … and then you subconsciously share those doubts with the exact people that will pick up on them and reflect them back to you.

Maybe you ask somebody who is risk-averse or has no understanding of what you’re trying to do. To paraphrase Teddy Roosevelt, if that person isn’t actually in the arena with you, why are you asking their opinion? 

(My husband is a soldier and I love him dearly, but I don’t ask him for business advice. I ask women who have already done what I’m trying to do.)

Or maybe you have a tendency to surround yourself with people that don’t see the best in you, because YOU don’t see the best in you.

Tip #4: If more than one person questions your dreams, use it as an opportunity to reexamine your beliefs. Get clear on your “why” and what it means to you to be a person who values growth. Work on your mindset to uncover any limiting beliefs that might be holding you back. Pay extra close attention to your fears and whether or not they are actually grounded in truth, and go out of your way to look for evidence that supports you … like surrounding yourself with other people that are growth-minded.  

“I do feel alone on this journey sometimes... I try not to let that get the best of me. I just have to remember my 'why' then I can get back on track.” -- Sonia, entrepreneur

So in other words, thank them for bringing this to your attention! If they had been your biggest cheerleader … if they had loaned you money … if they had offered to chip in and help … none of that would be more valuable than helping to shine a light on your own beliefs.

Because your beliefs are everything. They  drive your actions and your actions fuel your results … and ultimately, your success. 

What it all means

It’s natural to value the opinions of people you care about and want them to value the same things you do. So you’re not alone if you’ve been asking yourself what their words mean.  

Maybe their disbelief has you questioning your dreams, your abilities ... or your entire relationship. 

But I’ve got great news for you: YOU get to decide what you want to make it mean. 

“He loves protecting me.”

“As soon as I accomplish this, she’ll be the proudest of them all.”

“If they’d been born into a different generation, they’d totally be on board with this.”

“This will make the most amazing underdog story.”

In conclusion, what does it all mean? Whatever you want it to.

The choice is entirely yours.

The Goldman Sachs Sales Tactic That Backfired

I was 21 and on top of the world…

Literally. Sitting in the top floor of Chicago’s tallest building (then called the Sears Tower) in a Goldman Sachs conference room.

It was me and some other undergrads that Goldman had decided they wanted to employ upon graduation, and they were pitching us hard.

And I was eating up every word! 

After years of working harder than most everyone around me, I was being seen and recognized. They were admitting me to an elite club of power and prestige, and my life was set. 

But then a woman stood up to speak, and she changed my life forever…

After she’d had children, she said, Goldman supportively let her morph into a role that allowed a lifestyle other than their famed 100-hour workweeks: She launched a new global in-house childcare initiative for the company. 

It was an obvious sales tactic aimed at positioning the company as an enlightened and warm-fuzzy kind of place. 

And then, it happened….

She mentioned that it had been hard to make the switch. 

“Remember those crazy projects where we’d just catch a few hours of sleep here on a sofa, and then be back at it the next morning?” she joked-not-joked with a colleague.

And then she seemed to get lost in thought. Her hand floated up to her chest, fingering the white silk of her blouse as if she were wearing a pendant. She bit her lip slightly, and her gaze drifted to the side…. 

Her longing was so palpable that she could’ve been reminiscing about the best sex of her life, rather than a work assignment.   

It only lasted a split second, but I knew exactly what she was feeling.

… I knew the adrenaline rush that comes from caffeine, sugar, and burning the midnight oil on a super tight deadline.

… I knew the dopamine rush of struggling with a problem until you finally get that lightbulb moment (bonus points if somebody was underestimating you or naysaying while you were doing it!).

… And I knew the addictive pull to do it over and over again, because otherwise life seems boring and just … off, like you’re missing something.

I knew all this because it takes one to know one.

And that’s how  I also realized I could NOT let myself play with fire.

Accepting a job there would’ve been like a binge-drinker getting a job at a bar. 

I decided I wasn’t going to put myself in a situation where everyone around me was enabling my habit…

Where I’d risk “burning” my life away. 

AKA: waking up one day middle-aged, avoiding the vacations, finally taking one but incapable of really relaxing, and with a family I hardly knew (or kind of resented) and no real sense of self outside of my meaningless-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things work. 

So instead I chose a completely different path.

The week after graduation I left for Spain, immersed myself in la vida buena as devoutly as an anthropologist studying a lost civilization, lived on a tiny forgotten island surrounded by crystalline water and didn’t come home for many years.

(And it all worked out ok. The world didn’t stop spinning.)

Maybe you’re thinking, Jenna, this is a really strange note for you to be sending….

After all, your last email glorified the transformative effect of really owning your inner power player! In reality, there is no conflict.

Because TRUE power has nothing to do with the Goldman way of doing things (aka the modern way). 

Rushing to jump through the hoops that society has programmed you to want so that you can satisfy the directives of the most primitive, unevolved part of your brain is NOT powerful!

True power is when you’re

… Conscious about what’s really driving you (Reese Witherspoon was accepting unaligned roles out of fear … fear of not staying relevant, fear of not being good enough, fear of backlash if she didn’t play ball…)

… Clear about what YOU truly want (she wanted complex challenging roles, better representation of women’s stories, a seat at the table, creative freedom, more impact and money)

… Actually living into it (she made an uncommon choice to start her own business and compete directly with the studios that used to hire her).

It all comes down to knowing yourself and having your back, and then proving it.​

Because when you do, that’s when you:

• Start caring more about showing up as you really are for the RIGHT people rather than worrying what others think

• Trust you’ll find your way through that scary thing that’s calling to you

• Stop waiting for others to value you because you’re too focused on CREATING value  

Shouldn’t you feel like your life is something that YOU scripted? 

And NOW … rather than hoping you’ll get there one day in the future?

If you’re nodding your head “yes” but know you’re definitely not living into it, let’s talk.

(You don’t need to drop out and seclude yourself on an island in Spain to make a change! But don’t keep doing what’s not working for you, either.)

Here’s to living the life you really want,

Jenna

Reese

Let’s love on Reese for a minute. (Yes - Witherspoon.)


Did you know she won an Academy Award way back in 2005 for portraying June Carter in the Johnny Cash movie Walk the Line?


Talk about "making it," right? Young, gorgeous, talented … the Hollywood Trifecta. A real Leading Lady.


You’d think she had it all (picking and choosing her roles, respected everywhere, catered to like a queen, wealthy beyond her wildest dreams).


Except … her story doesn’t play out like that.


She went on to "lead" in a string of forgettable rom com fluff movies (How Do You Know, Four Christmases, This Means War) in the riveting role of Girl Unsure About Her Guy / Which Guy.


She was paid less than men with equivalent credentials. Her ideas were sometimes entertained but usually not acted upon.


Until one day she got really sick of the status quo and the whole barely-scratching-the-surface-of-her-potential thing and said...


"F this, I’m going to start my own damn production company!"


(That’s totally not a direct quote btw. Though maybe it is.)


Anyway…


Boom:


Wild, Gone Girl, Big Little Lies, The Morning Show (and about 20 more, most still in production).


Complex, challenging roles. Accolades. Award nominations (and wins!). Respect. FREEDOM.


Some things she stars in, some she doesn’t.


But *this* for all of them:


-- SHE calls the shots
-- SHE chooses the script
-- SHE ok’s the cast
-- SHE brings HER vision to life
-- She has a seat at the table in a way that she NEVER had before.


So what changed?


SHE did.


Nothing changed on the outside...


Nobody gave her the permission slip.
She didn’t keep "working her way up" and "playing the game."
She didn’t wait for the right time or the stars to align.


She knew deep down that she was capable of more, and decided to start acting like it.


Yes, it was scary.
Of course she second-guessed herself.
No she didn’t do it all alone; she had support (smart lady).


Usually when clients seek me out, it’s for help with something they think they lack.


But the most important thing they leave with is always what we unlock (and then nurture) from within.


Sure, I like a good geek-fest on tactics and how-tos. But what I really do is teach entrepreneurs how to show up and own it and think like and ACT like one.


(A very unique and successful one, naturally!)


Reese always had that inner power woman, waiting to shine. The Emmys and fans and box office cash are a natural result of allowing it.


She stopped playing by "the rules" … and made her own rules.


Her own uncommon way.


Here’s to yours,


💛 Jenna


P.S. Once you’ve truly decided, there’s (literally) no good reason not to go all in and start acting the part, including getting the support you deserve. If you’re an entrepreneur who is actively earning money, ready to level up, and looking to find "your" coach who can help you holistically (business+life) on an ongoing basis, let’s see if it makes sense to join forces.

Should You or Shouldn't You??

A few weeks ago I told you how I was beginning a new year-long certification program because continual professional and personal development is one of my core values.

But I didn’t share the whole story.

I didn’t tell you that aligning to that value means I had to overcome the many reasons my brain serves up NOT to!!!

-- I don’t have time!
-- Shouldn’t I be doing something else with my time?!
-- Shouldn’t I be doing something else with my money?!
-- Maybe I already know enough about that!
-- Maybe I should do it next year, instead!


(If you’re human like me, your brain probably likes to speak in exclamatory phrases, too.)


So, getting honest.... When I look back, maybe I’ll see some inconvenient consequences from this decision.


It’s totally possible that I’ll have posted less, or earned less, or missed out on family or me time.


But then again, maybe not. (Or maybe yes, but it won’t even be that big of a deal.)

That’s the thing about doubts: they’re always imaginary.

We can’t truly know the outcome until we’ve lived it.


Doubts try to trick you into thinking you’re just being reasonable and level-headed, even though they come from a totally different part of the brain.


(Want to know if something is a doubt or just a rational analysis? Pay attention to how your body responds to the thought.)


But here’s a clue about a doubt’s REAL agenda: If you listened to it, you’d be exactly where you started. ALWAYS.


Acting on your own best decisions even though you’re human and have doubts is what living an uncommon life is all about.


Because in order to call your own shots, you have to get clear on what truly matters to you and then outmaneuver anything (including yourself!) that keeps you from doing it.


It’s about overriding your autopilot in favor of your pilot ✈️


Here’s to your next step,


Jenna

P.S. Ready to feel totally decisive and on track? The doors to Uplevel Your Life will open soon, so watch this space!


P.P.S. Can’t wait? I’ve got one spot open for private coaching on Thursdays at 11:30am Eastern. You can apply here. n do the thing that made you uncomfortable.

“Receive” More, This Way

It makes me go … wait, what?!


Somehow an entire year has passed since I spent a month in Greece with my almost-2-year-old. (And what a year it has been!)


Since we’re no longer traveling, I've been feeling extra nostalgic and thinking back on what an epic month it was.


… I checked something off my bucket list (I’d always dreamed of recreating the time my mom spent with me in Greece when I was Dylan’s age)


… Celebrated the financial and location independence that allowed me to take the trip, while at the same time awoke to just how much I depended on people in other ways (like for childcare help—HOW do single moms do it??)


… I kickstarted my best quarter ever (while working less than I had in years)


And as I scrolled back through my social media posts from that time, I realized that my most popular one needed to be re-shared (see below).


Because it’s even more relevant now than it was back then.

It’s about how we’re conditioned to block ourselves from receiving.

(And how it’s such a normal part of the way we operate that we usually don’t even realize we’re doing it!)


When I wrote the post, I was talking about how hard it is under NORMAL circumstances.


(It felt SO awkward and "braggy" to me to share posts about my dream vacation in Greece!)


But 2020 has been anything but normal.


And if you’re anything like me, then when your attention is focused on the true suffering of others around you


… disease and death, economic hardship, racial injustice …

That’s when it feels especially difficult to welcome in your own abundance with open arms.

But what if it’s possible (and ok) to maintain your compassion + the ability to examine yourself and your life self-critically … while still receiving MORE?


I say it is. (Even if it’s a work in progress.)

And your job is just to find that balance.

So if lately you’ve been caught in inaction, or working harder than ever but not seeing results, then maybe this blog (and the post below) is meant for you today 💛


Jenna


✨💛✨

Do you let yourself RECEIVE?? Example:

“Oh, no, that’s ok! I don’t want to use up your water!!”


-- said my mom the first night she arrived here at the cottage, after I suggested she use bottled water rather than that awful stuff from the underground cistern that smells like old garbage.


Did you grow up with a model of self-sacrifice, too? Then stick around - you’ll probably get a kick out of what comes next!


A few minutes later we got into an argument over who should get up with the baby in the morning and let the other sleep in: me, who’s been here for weeks and is fully acclimated, or her, who just spent 24 hours traveling!


And over the last two days I’ve marveled at how painful it is for her to let me pay for anything, even though I’m treating her to an all-expense-paid vacay for her “big” birthday.


But even though I’m laughing about it, I’m crying, too…


Because I see versions of this play out every day with my clients, and I know for sure I’ve lived it myself!!


Is it hard for you to receive, too? If so, maybe you find yourself:


❇️ With a sneaking suspicion that YOU’re the one blocking yourself from clients that want to pay you


❇️ Hearing your partner say, “Well why didn’t you just say so?” after you finally blow a gasket and say you need some help


❇️ Feeling guilty about the investments you make in your business (so you just make lots of tiny ones instead, like binge-shopping at Marshall’s)


❇️ Absolutely exhausted from doing everything for everyone and then *trying* to show your biz-baby some love, too. (But everything the biz-baby puts out has to be extra extra perfect if you’re ever going to truly deserve to make money from it!)


❇️ Saying “I’m sorry.” A lot and habitually.


If one or more of these made you go, “Uh, yup!” then I’m dying to share three magic words that will start to shift everything for you:


I’M NOT SORRY.


Say it when your inner critic pipes up to shame you.


Say it before every sales call.
Say it with every investment.
Say it when you do something frivolous.
Say it when you feel weird asking for support / space / understanding / money / love
Say it when you stop yourself from sharing because “others” will think you’re full of yourself.
Say it when you catch yourself sounding like your mother 😄


And then do the thing that made you uncomfortable.

The Right Way to Choose Your Next Business Investment

Today I start a year-long program for a certification I absolutely DON’T need.


(And I wouldn’t have it any other way.)


I got up early and took Skye for a walk around my town’s ivy-covered college campus for the first time since we moved here.


It brought me right back to my own college days! Tiny Pennsylvania town, graystone buildings, historical significance, and stunning crisp fall weather.


Which was all part of my strategy 🤔 I wanted to kick off my first day as a student again by reconnecting with the joy of learning for learning’s sake.


Not because of a scarcity-based “I need this in order to…”
but because “and what else is possible?”


I think the trap that lots of us fall into when we’re starting out as entrepreneurs is that we’re only able to justify an investment in ourselves if we think we really neeeed it. (That was me!)


“I suck at sales. If I don’t take this sales course, I’ll never reach my dream!” Etc.


And maybe that’s true to a point. Nobody’s born with all the skills you need to run a successful solo business!


But there’s a big problem:


We exhaust ourselves trying to fix the SYMPTOMS without ever addressing the real CAUSE.

Because if we enter into something with a sense of lack and being less than, we usually come out the very same way!

Conveniently, we don’t see the results we want, and that helps us reinforce our “not-enough-yet-ness”. (Such clever brains!)


Wouldn’t it be amazing if instead we simply asked, “What’s the next right step in my evolution?”


And then we actually went with our gut?


And just subverted the whole damn cycle?!


I think so :) (In fact, I know so!)

Rather than just scrolling to the next email in your inbox, why not take a few minutes to really feel into YOUR next best step?

Is it sales? Is it marketing? Or maybe gardening? Or shamanic dance?


Or is it learning to manage your mind so you can create your results from within, and get where you’re ALREADY GOING quicker and more easily?


Whatever your answer, I’m giving you a permission slip to ACTUALLY DO THAT THING.


Because as long as you don't give up, you're going to have a successful business. So consider it done.


There’s nothing else you need to do or prove or be in order to start living your life for you.


Life (and business) is better when you finally start letting your inner visionary run the show 💛


—Jenna

My Spanish Lover + Making Decisions

You know how sometimes you smell something, and suddenly you’re transported to a place you’d forgotten?


Like when I think about Javi…


Obviously I know I love(d) him.


I even know I loved him fully, recklessly and probably more purely than is ever possible once you’ve been really heartbroken or broken hearts.


But as soon as I smell orange blossoms, which were blooming in Sevilla when he first began his nightly serenades under my balcony (True story! But he didn’t actually know I was there listening, because of the orange trees.)...


That’s when I really feel it.


All of a sudden I’m standing in his closet, fingertips brushing his shirts, wondering how the hell I’m going to survive the next day when I leave him and fly back across the Atlantic to continue my studies.


Which is just like what happens when I’m talking to someone and they tell me about how angry they’ve become with themselves (or how ridiculed they feel by other people) because they can’t make up their mind.


It’s not that I forget there was a period of my life when it was painful to be an abstract thinker who had no idea she was an abstract thinker and therefore no understanding of why it was so hard to “just pick something!” and “get it together!” like other people.


But sometimes something about the voice of the person I’m speaking to makes me feel as if it happened yesterday.


… That look in her eyes when she smirked and said, “Oh, you’re on to something else again now?”

… The weight of looking through my college’s alumni newsletter to see allll of my classmates (so it seemed) moving forward steadily with careers they’d talked about in college.

… The irrational despair when the $10 palm reader in the West Village told me, no, she couldn’t tell me what I was supposed to do with my life. (As if that was my last hope. Done. Nothing left to try now!)


Looking back, it’s so easy for me now to see what nobody ever told me…


My indecision wasn’t all bad.


In fact, in some ways it reflected really well on me.


So if there’s something in your life for which you’re not quiteee at a decision point, I want to be the one to say it to YOU:


Congratulations.


Among other things, it means you’re demonstrating the ability to think strategically.


And if you’d like some more compliments (because, ummyeah!), check out these 5 great things your indecision says about you.


And finally, this:


Your uncertainty doesn’t have to be that agonizing. You just need to start by viewing it as something positive and something that can be solved.


Here’s to our greatest traits,


Jenna


P.S. I didn’t leave that day :)

9 Signs You’re an Abstract Thinker (+so what?)

“Ugh, I’m just not sure which idea is the right one. I want it to make sense, but I also want it to mean something, you know? I guess I’m kinda stuck in research mode. Well, to be honest sometimes I start moving forward, but then usually I get caught up with an even better idea….” her voice trails off.


“Out of curiosity, do you consider yourself an abstract thinker?” I ask.


, I can’t tell you how often the answer to that question is either “no” or “What’s that?” (Just like it was with this client.)


Whether they’re talking about what business to start,
how to pivot or grow their business,
their next career path, or
what they (in general) want to do with their life…


I tend to meet a LOT of abstract thinkers in my work! (Even if they don’t realize it.)


It’s probably because I’m an abstract thinker, too. For two looong decades I struggled with clarity and with understanding how to both manage and make the most of the way my brain works.


And even though some people come to me for exactly that reason (they found me through one of my multiple blog posts on the subject)...

The majority of abstract thinkers have no idea that they are.

Which means they also don’t understand that it’s influencing HOW you are.


Because the way you think affects:

-- how you tend to make decisions and store information

-- what you prefer to focus on

-- your propensity to create meaning and also your reliance on that meaning

-- and so much more.


So if you’re unsure about whether you’re an abstract thinker, you are NOT alone.


And luckily I created this fun blog post to help you figure it out:


9 Signs You’re an Abstract Thinker


After you read it, I’d love to know … yes or no? 🤣


And although I’m totally being nosy, I’m not only being nosy! Your answer will help determine whether or not I share more tools with you in the future to help you get the most out of your gifts (yes, gifts).


With love (a very abstract concept),


Jenna

Stuck Under The Tuscan Sun

“How's the novel going?”


“Not so well.… But the procrastination is coming along fabulously. Soon it will breed abject self-loathing, and then I'll just become a writing machine.”


That right there is one of my favorite movie lines.


One of those that somehow makes you say “ouch!” and laugh at the same time, because It’s so damn relatable!


(It’s from Under the Tuscan Sun, btw, in case you hadn’t guessed by my subject line. I remember when it came out - it made we want to move to Cortona and renovate a farmhouse right away (honey, guess what we should do!))



Anyway, abject self-loathing is a thing.


It’s a highly motivating thing. I’ve tried it. Lots of times. It helps me finally draw the line in the sand and be like, “That’s it! Time to change something!”


For some people, like sexy-but-scarred novelist Frances Mayes, it’s the normal modus operandi.


For others, it’s seasonal. Or monthly. Or pretty rare.


And ideally, it’d be nice to get away from loathing yourself and just get into a happy flow. (Self: please note.)

But there’s a universal precursor to abject self-loathing: Doing nothing.

Seriously. It’s like once you’re in the habit of working out, you just keep working out.


The hardest part of working out is getting started! And then maybe those first few times until you get into a rhythm.


But soon, you start feeling so much better when you work out. And you’re like, “Why did I ever stop?!”


Just like when you finally get in the flow of writing, and then it’s time to stop and you’re like nooooo, I’m on such a roll!

The reason is because of The Efficiency Factor.

Over millennia, the human brain learned to conserve energy and effort by NOT changing the status quo.


If something works, it keeps doing just that.


It takes a LOT of energy to change, and stirs up a bunch of discomfort.


Our brains like mental discomfort about as much as we like a trip to the dentist!

Abject self-loathing helps override The Efficiency Factor.

The discomfort of NOT doing something becomes stronger than the discomfort of making change.


But usually there’s still some time where we resist it, or ignore it, or debate it in our head, or procrastinate with a million other things…


(P.S. There’s probably something underlying the procrastination that goes even deeper than the efficiency factor … but that’s a bigger subject.)


Until we FINALLY either jump in with our clothes on or we start easing into that thing we really know we need to do…


And WHY do we need to do it? Because the most visionary part of ourselves knows that we’re here to grow and evolve! And that there’s tremendous upside waiting for us on the other side of the discomfort.


So if you want to overcome inertia and ease back into a rhythm that feels great, what’s a girl to do?


Take a second look at the simple trick in my “Idea to I Did It” guide!


I’ve shared my favorite brain hack for getting into action.


It’s based on exercise … and fashion … and it’s pretty cool and brilliantly painless, imho.


You can download your free copy here.


(See page 3.)



Here’s to less drama and some metaphorical warm Tuscan sun,


Jennae

Not taking action? It might be fiu.

PSLs might be back at Starbucks, but rather than rushing into autumn - with its big bursts of energy and productivity - I’ve learned there’s something magical about holding onto the slow pace of summer (and the easy beach hair!) as long as I can.


Like last year when Dylan and I spent the month in Greece, hanging out at the beach and sipping fruity drinks until the end of September, totally ignoring the fact that we’d need to put winter coats on over our shorts as soon as we landed home in Colorado.


And this year, when I loyally make my way to the farmers’ market each week, insisting to Ben that the peaches coming straight from the local Pennsylvania countryside are indeed just as sweet as they were back in July.

I think it all started when I learned about fiu.

Fiu is an amazing cultural phenomenon that we discovered in Bora Bora.


Basically, it’s the feeling of being totally unmotivated, with an underlying longing to just relax and get away from it all.


And while the feeling is universal, what makes fiu so original is how they use it.


We’re talking

• shops closed in the middle of the day in high tourist season

• road construction sites sitting empty with lonely looking machinery

• breakfast cafes that finally open at noon

… all with nothing more in the way of notice than a sign that says “Closed for fiu”!


(And sometimes, not even that.)


You can read more about fiu (and how to move past it) in this blog from a few years ago.


But it makes me wonder…


What would it be like if that feeling were considered a normal thing that should be acted upon immediately?


And that when you did, you knew your customers or boss or family would just shrug and be like, “Yeah, I get it.”

If we didn’t make a lack of motivation or action mean anything about us?


Zero guilt. No self-recrimination.


As I’ve started playing with this more (not easy for this girl), I’ve been finding that it’s best to try not to move past fiu too quickly because really great things can happen when you do step away.


(It all depends on what preceded the fiu.)


Last year, that month in Greece brought me a huge jump in business revenue.


And this year, in the midst of moving, while my attention was more focused on keeping Dylan from destroying our hotel room than it was on generating business…


Google miraculously decided I belonged on the front page of search results for “female business coach,” and I’ve been blessed with a steady stream of inquiries and clients who are definitely in action mode.


So if you’ve been beating yourself up over taking a break, maybe it’s time to imagine you’re just feeling fiu … and that’s ok, and there might be something great waiting on the other side.


Here’s to a great late-summer weekend,


Jenna


P.S. If you’re thinking, “But Jenna, my problem is that I can’t even get started!” or if you’re really ready to move past the fiu but just can’t seem to do it, I’ve got you. Read this and look out for my next email :)