Did he really just say that about me?

I totally wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. I’m kinda surprised I even heard it, since I tend to get so lost in thought that my family has to say my name a time or two to get my attention!


But on that day I guess I happened to be moving from one room to the next at just the right moment to overhear Ben on speaker phone, talking to a relative.

"How’s that business that Jenna’s working on?"


"Good! She just got a new website up."


"Oh yeah? How much did THAT set you back?!"


To this day, Ben doesn’t know.

He doesn’t know how I stopped short
how it felt like the wind had been knocked out of me
how after a second of pure shock all the blood rushed to my face in a feeling of shame and worthlessness, and
how it took years until I didn’t feel like a wounded animal around that relative.

At the time, I thought the reason it hit me so hard was because he was misjudging me for the very thing I’d spent my entire life proving to myself and the world (until recently)...


...that I’d NEVER be dependent on anyone, especially a man!


Because here’s what I was convinced he was really saying:


She’s costing you way too much money and she’s doing the wrong thing by asking you to pour your hard-earned money down the drain into an imaginary "business" and she’s obviously a selfish person because otherwise she would’ve just gotten a real job by now and totally entitled to think that it’s ok to not pull her weight financially and who does she think she is, anyway, to be too good for the kind of real job that everybody else in the world settles for and obviously she’s a loser because she still hasn’t figured things out even after taking those expensive "online business courses," and arrogant to think that people would even pay her for that and flighty because next time we talk she’ll probably have moved on to some great new business idea and (especially) … a woman who should feel ashamed for playing right into gender stereotypes about a helpless female that needs to rely on her man.


Phew.


It’s amazing how quickly the thoughts can come, right?!


But here’s what I realize now:

Those thoughts came easily because they were SO familiar!

I had already been saying those mean things to myself, in an under-my-breath, I’m-not-really-listening-to-you-but-I’m-listening-to-you, barely conscious way.


And so hearing something that might be aligned with those thoughts was like handing my inner critic a megaphone.

The REAL reason it hit me so hard is because part of me believed it.

So thanks to that moment and the journey of discovery that it set me on, I now know what to do whenever someone says something that stings.


I ask myself two important questions, and then dive into the work of figuring out the answers and then weeding out those unhelpful beliefs.


"What part of me thinks it’s true?"


AND


"Where am I giving my power away to someone else, and letting them pierce the sanctity of my inner mental space?"

Because shifting beliefs and building your self-confidence comes BEFORE the success.

, if there’s a part of you that's feeling a little bad or uncertain about having the tenacity to keep dreaming, I want you to know that you’re not alone.


All around the world, women are waking up to what’s possible.


And with that first sense of possibility also comes doubt, because that’s how human brains work.


But doubt is just a stage.


It’s not truth. It’s just something we all have to work through.


...That woman you see who’s where you want to be? She did it.


...The ones who are doing things you admire but would never dream of doing yourself? They did it.


...And every one of your ancestors who pushed the envelope a little more and a little more so you could have the opportunities you do today? They each did it.


And now it’s your turn.


And you can do it, too.


💛 Jenna

Is this one little word controlling you?

“Noooo! Nooooo!!” he screams. I sigh and watch his tiny naked body retreat down the hall, legs moving faster than physics. The diaper will have to wait.


Cohabitating with my two-year-old is a constant exercise in trying to anticipate and then influence someone who knows exactly what he wants and doesn’t … and feels he has all the time in the world to negotiate it.


If Dylan hears that he can have 1 more minute, his immediate response is, “How about 3”?


If “No, you can’t eat that peach right now,” then it’s, “One little bite and then all done!”


And if it’s a firm “no” and I don’t immediately distract him afterwards, he’s relentless. (Enough to make Chinese water torture seem familiar.)


But that’s not what this note is about.


This is about the other times - usually when he’s finally asleep - when I can marvel at his strong sense of self and reflect on the bigger picture:

When do we learn to stop asking for and lobbying for what we really want?

(Especially as women.)


...When was the last time you felt shame about being “too pushy”?


...When was the last time you decided it just wasn’t worth the effort?


...When have you put your needs on the back burner so you don’t have to risk a “no”?


Ohhh, that one little super-powerful word. No.


When did it become a source of such embarrassment? When did a no come to mean that YOU had failed? Or worse - that you are a failure?


Nos happen. Maybe you’ll hear one when you ask for…


Better division of labor with your partner
A raise or a sale
An extended payment plan or other creative arrangement
An interview or mentorship with an expert
Some “quiet time” from your toddler

But comparatively, how many more yeses would you hear?

And what would that mean for you over the course of your life?


Here’s to reawakening the best part of your uninhibited inner two-year-old,


Jenna


P.S. I'M TAKING ON ONE NEW PRIVATE CLIENT IN AUGUST. Are you the one? Let's chat about it.

What's your oxygen?

It’s really green here.

Yesterday I was walking down my favorite little path in our new hometown - the pretty wooded one next to the babbling brook - and thinking about all the oxygen.

And if you’ve been living at or near sea level, you might think that’s kinda weird...

But if you’ve ever lived in an ultra dry, mile-high desert (like where I have for the last three years), you’ll probably never ever take oxygen for granted!

...You’ll drink in long, quenching breaths…

...Run up and down a few hills just because it doesn’t wind you…

...And feast your eyes on fields of grass and foliage.

Seriously, I have to pinch myself each day because it’s like I’m stepping through a passage written by Thoreau. Just take a look!

Isn’t it crazy that none of this gorgeousness was cultivated?!

It’s totally natural.

All because of that oxygen-thing that most of us take for granted…

And there are tons of things we take for granted, aren’t there?

Especially when it comes to ourselves!

Like when people go, "Oh, you’re so _________________!"

And you’re like, really??

It’s tough to appreciate what we take for granted! A fish wouldn’t know it’s in an aquarium unless you could somehow take it out and show it.

But knowing what makes you "you" is the best way to feel truly confident.

(both in yourself and in the path you choose to walk).

Because then there’s no way NOT to do it.

It’s just who you are.

So whether you want to get clear on your purpose or what you want next in life or what kind of business to start or how to niche…

...and whether you want knowingness, or joy, or a sense of meaning, or a brimming bank account (or all of the above, thank you!)...

I’ll give you a tip:

The answer doesn’t lie in your certifications or qualifications.

It doesn’t lie in the skill set from your past jobs. Or even in the things you love and can’t seem to get enough of. (Even though that’s what so many people tell you to focus on!)


It's more like my client who told me she wasn't sure whether to do high-end art consulting or create LinkedIn courses ... as she lounged amidst the gorgeous art and furniture she'd collected, looking like a regal goddess.


Or the one who seemed so surprised that the clients coming to her felt inhibited and longed to break free of their good-girl shell ... even though she exuded all this untamed yin energy and felt zero embarrassment about showing up to a call in her underwear or trying out her new TikTok dance moves during her Facebook live.

It’s about who you are and how you are … even when you’re not trying.

Here’s to YOUR oxygen, baby! (And rocking it.)

Jenna

His Plastic Car, My Client, and Crazy 2020

I’m sitting on the porch, watching as my son’s plastic toy car, the rug from Germany, and an old chair that my husband would be SO happy to "accidentally lose" get carried out to a huge truck bound for Pennsylvania.


It’s moving day! And I’m so glad it’s finally here.

Naturally, it’s making me think a lot about closure…


... taking one last gaze at my view of the snow-capped Rockies


… waving goodbye to the hospital where my son was born (I can see it from my house)


… lovingly mending nail holes so we can sell the first house that Ben and I purchased jointly


But I’ve realized it’s not just personal memories … I grew a business baby, too, and have a full (mental) album of business memories to show for it.


Over the last 3 years I’ve taken some really scary leaps: I’ve invested more, put myself "out there" more, produced more, earned more, coached more and just generally upleveled my mind more than seemed possible when we first moved here.


Which has been great sometimes, and terrible other times, but all around amazing. But there’s not a single thing I’ve done which compares to the closure and accomplishment I feel from creating Uplevel Your Life.

It’s the best work I’ve ever done, hands down.

It’s the first time I’ve been able to sequence everything that needs to be said, rather than trying to fit in important lessons in between tactical business advice.


And knowing that I’ll be able to help so many more people than in the past brings a sense of gravity and knowingness that I’ve never felt before (in a good way!).


But it wouldn’t have happened without the amazing women that signed up for the beta launch. Through getting to know them and care about their dreams, I got to create straight from the heart.

So before I close the book on this chapter, I really want to thank them.

Bonnie, Michele, Andrea, Dana and Jessica ... thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your candor and engagement and support for one another; your willingness to stretch yourself and grow; your questions and helpful feedback made this program what it is today and at the same time made my long-cherished dream come true.


Even though our human brains like to focus on what’s wrong around us (and that’s a super-important and necessary agent of positive change), reflecting on what’s right is equally helpful (and too often forgotten).


So as we all deal with the emotions of a new year that has been unlike anything we’ve ever seen and brought an awakening for change and course-correction in so many of us…


I encourage you to take a pause, and think about the things in your life that are coming to a close but deserve to be missed and appreciated.


Here’s to loving both our past and our future,

💛 Jenna

How To Train Your Brain To Dream Bigger (4 Mistakes You're Making With Your Visualizations)

"Ohh … you’ve gotta be kidding me!" I heard my husband groan into his phone, and immediately felt my body stiffen.


Remember how two weeks ago we found out we needed to move across the country in just a matter of weeks? And I was using visualizations to help quiet my nerves?


Well that feels like an eternity ago.


Since then, the Army has had us in a yes-no-start-stop loop. Yes we’re moving; no we’re not. We’re moving now; nope, we’ll have to wait. Put the house on the market and line up the car shipments, motorhome rental, and furniture movers … nope, wait! Don’t do that after all.


So I’ve really had to double down the "leaning into my inner visionary" technique that I shared with you! (It’s here on the blog if you want a refresher.)


And I realized …

This is actually where a lot of people pull back rather than lean in.

Now that there’s an obstacle or two and the brain is doom-and-glooming, "It might not happen!"...


They tell themselves:


… I don’t want to jinx it
… I don’t want to get my hopes up
… I’d rather tell myself I don’t really want it that much anyway.

But you do want it, don’t you?

And by giving your brain mixed signals, it won’t go hunting for the solutions and inspiration you need.


Or it might get you to put off signals that undermine what you want.

Worst of all, you’re actually training your brain NOT to dream big ... because you start, but then stop. 

I’m so passionate about this that I’ll be hopping on Facebook live later today (12:30p ET) to share "How to Train Your Brain to Dream Bigger (4 Mistakes You’re Making with Your Visualizations)."


Click here to get a reminder.


Mistake #1 is this … that you stop your visualizations because you might jinx them (I’ll tell you where that thought is coming from).


Then I’ll also share:

• How your once-a-day morning visualization practice might be backfiring

• Why you’re not really "feeling it"
  

• The big mindset reality that has left a few of my clients slapping their heads and saying, "So THAT’s why they haven’t really been working for me!"

Here’s to really believing in our dreams,


Jenna

Why Your Research Addiction is NOT Helping You Make Better Decisions

"Are you still awake?!" Ben asked drowsily, as I guiltily turned my phone away so the light wouldn’t shine in his face.

It was nearly midnight now, and a good 90 minutes since I’d opened my eyes in bed and thought, "Ooh … let me just look one thing up really quickly."

If you’re anything like me, you know how an unmade decision can keep you up at night …

And how you always hope that if you research and find the ONE piece of information your brain was waiting for, everything will become clear, the decision gets made, and you can finally be at peace.

Except it doesn’t usually happen like that, does it?

We don’t just unlock our phone, Google what we need, open the first search result, and make a decision.

Instead we spend hours, days, weeks or even months deliberating. (And deliberating, and deliberating.)

I know a thing or two about deliberation.

After all, it took me two decades to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I basically researched my way through my 20s and most of my 30s!

Here’s what I didn’t realize at the time:

After a certain point, researching becomes an addiction that actually IMPEDES your ability to make great decisions.

Not only do you become a worse decision maker (in fact, maybe you don’t ever even make the decision … you just move on to something else), but you end up confusing yourself.

The brain doesn’t do well when overloaded with information. But you know what else?

You already MADE your decision, anyway!

Research shows that our unconscious brain makes our decisions long before our conscious brain … and that the rest is us merely trying to rationalize our decision to ourselves.

I talk more about all this in the 7-minute live video I created for you this week, and also share my 2 top tips for becoming a better decision maker.

Here’s to more time spent living and accomplishing your dreams, and far less time researching,

Jenna

Exactly What I DIDN'T Want To Hear

Late on Friday we heard the words we’d been wondering about ever since the stay-at-home orders started:

"We want you here right away."

And what that means is that -- In just about a month from now -- Ben needs to be in Pennsylvania to report in for his new assignment. I’ll follow a week or two later, after the movers come, with Dylan and Skye.

So in the next six weeks we need to

sell our house
ship our cars
and move two households, a toddler and a dog across the country (my mom is moving too).

During a pandemic.

Which brings up all this uncertainty. And the whole hassle of it all.

And the possibility that the movers will damage beloved heirlooms … and lose every single one of my blouses, dress pants, and belts ... many of them painstakingly collected in NYC sample sales and Morrocan medinas ... and NONE of them fully reimbursable because of course nobody saves clothing receipts from those places … or ANY places!!

(That actually happened when we moved here to Colorado three years ago. So it could totally happen again, right?! Or worse!)

As you can imagine, none of this feels very … comfortable.

But then again, the icky feelings that come with moving are just like the ones that come from ANY change in life.

Because the truth is that where you are right now reflects EXACTLY where you feel you should be.

(Not where you feel you WANT to be, but where deep down you feel you should be. Because it’s what’s safe or known or COMFORTABLE.)

So it stands to reason that it’s inherently UNcomfortable to change ...

We think about that new destination we want to get to and it sounds so GREAT! Omg it’s going to be amazing.

Until it’s really time to do something, and then we start thinking about ...

… what could go wrong in the future
… the extra time, effort or money we’ll "waste"
… what went wrong in the past

That’s when lots of people feel the discomfort, and they pull back.

They think it means they chose the wrong destination.  
Or they need to prepare more first.
Or it was never really realistic anyway.

Or maybe they busy themselves with something else so they don’t actually have to think about it at all!

But hopefully, not you …

Because the visionary in you knows it’s time to find out what’s truly possible.

So what's a girl to do to actually get from "here" to "there"?


Here's one way I'm leaning on my inner visionary:

It’s a Wednesday in August, and I’m sitting down to write you a note...

I’m telling you how much I love my new little East Coast town and the way the ivy covers the old brick buildings just like you see in pictures. I’m sitting in the beautiful home office I created, and Dylan is delighting in the magical fireflies that come out at dusk.

Skye thinks she’s died and gone to heaven because the neighborhood kids regularly come play ball with her, and Ben strolls home each day for lunch and again when he’s done teaching.

Everything’s so compact that we really don’t have to drive anywhere … but if I want to, I can hop on a train and be in Manhattan in just a few hours!

And all that stuff I wrote about back in May? Sure, I had butterflies. But they were manageable. And it was worth it.

The uncertainty. The hassle. The discomfort.

It was all so, so worth it.

💛 Jenna

P.S. And my things made it here fine ;-)

The #1 LIE You’re Telling Yourself

Here’s the thought that’s making your life way harder:

"It makes me feel X."

… This pandemic is making me so anxious

… He’s makes me feel bad

… The lack of comments on my social media posts are crushing me

Which means you’re at constant battle with what is.

But actually, none of those things control how you feel…

YOU control how you feel.

**Truth Bomb: There is NO set of outside circumstances that will ever make your brain behave.**

Even if you have more money than you know what to do with…
Adoring fans…
The sexiest spouse on the planet…

Your brain will continue to feed you really uncomfortable, unpleasant thoughts in reaction to things you don’t like. And you’ll continue to feel really crappy.

(Just ask any superstar who has gone off the deep end.)

The ONLY way out is to make a choice.

You need to choose to no longer be controlled by anything other than YOU.

And then get down to the work of showing your mind a different way of doing things.


💛 Jenna

Closing My Biz! → Here’s Why

I’m saying goodbye to business coaching, and wanted you to be the first to know!

But first, let me thank you from the bottom of my heart . . .

I’m honestly the luckiest woman in the industry … from the amazing women in Women Taking the Leap to the equally amazing women who give me space in their inbox each week, you’ve made this ride so. much. fun.

Your replies and comments and questions have fueled me like nothing else, and it’s an honor to know you, be part of your journey, and count so many of you as my friends!

"Ok then, so what’s the deal??" you might be asking yourself . . .

This morning around 11:30 ET on my Uncommon Way Facebook business page I’m going live to give you all the deets, but here are the highlights:

1) When your mission calls, you answer!

You all know how strongly I believe in staying true to your mission and getting clear on what you truly want (because #notsorry and also that’s what it means to create an uncommon life).

Well, as soon as this current crisis hit, I knew exactly how I most wanted to contribute to the world, even if it meant closing a successful business that gives me and my clients 5-figure months.

(So I guess you could say the Crisis to Clarity Event has already had a transformative effect on one person! 😊)

2) This new path is more aligned with the lifestyle I want to create AND what so many people need.

There were times with clients when I felt we needed to focus less on messaging and sales flow and other tactics, and more on managing the mind. (And I saw the incredible results when we actually did that!) But with so much "to do" and so much going on in their businesses, sometimes it was tough to find the space or interest.

Now I’m going to be doing this work full-time. But I won’t be solely focused on entrepreneurs.

All of us are already 100% capable of getting whatever we want in life. You just need the right (mental) tools to not only recognize but actually transform the patterns that have been keeping your foot on the brake.

3) I’m pumped to be an example for you!

Over the years I’ve heard countless variations of, "But Jenna, I don’t think you can make money unless you’re selling how to make money!"

Really? Watch me!

4) So where does that leave us?

Don’t worry -- I wouldn’t leave you hanging.

I know this creates a hole in the market. I honestly don’t know of other business coaches that offer the holistic business-building and support that I do . . .

. . . helping you get clear and focused, reading every line of copy and comparing that to market research so we know we’re nailing it, listening to sales conversation replays so I can offer direct improvements . . .

. . . and if they do, they’re charging WAY more or their clients just aren’t seeing the same types of results.

So as I transition my business, and until I find a person or persons that I can refer people to, I’ll continue to take on some clients . . . as long as they’re as awesome as the women I’m currently working with!

And . . . that’s it! That’s the story.

Thank you so much for supporting me as I follow my heart! I just can’t say enough how grateful I am for you.

I hope you not only enjoy the rest of the Clarity event, but that you get tons of value from it! (Phase 2 and 3 are going to be JUICY!)

And that while you and your families stay healthy and strong, my weekly newsletters continue to serve you far into the future and help give you the tools to upgrade your mind and create your best life.

If you have any questions, please hop on the livestream this morning! (Or if you can’t make it, just hit reply.) I’m an open book.

Here’s to living the life that YOU want to create,

Jenna

Jessica from Korea has something you've got to hear TODAY

Phew, ! What a doozie of a … week? Month? Year? Time is kinda blurry now, right?

Anyway, I made a newsletter all about #lemonade (it’s a hashtag in the Women Taking The Leap Facebook group where we’ll take a break from all the serious news and serious content, and instead focus on the positive / lighter side!).

So here are 3 glasses of #lemonade for you, my friend:

1) Jessica from Korea says it’s going to get better

Fellow Leaper Jessica has been living in South Korea for years, so she’s been quarantined longer than any of us!

She shares that the first couple of weeks are the most difficult, but before you know it you’re in a new routine (and moms - that goes for your kids, too!). So it DOES get better. And truthfully, now she’s actually really enjoying it. (#introvertsunderstand)

2) Life is still happening, and BUSINESS is still happening

People want+need support and guidance for navigating this difficult time more than EVER before. So if you’re in the coaching or teaching industries (any field) or you support businesses, now is your time to shine. Period.

→ If you wish you just knew exactly where to focus your efforts and how to maximize your impact (and revenue) now, I’m opening a limited number of slots for single 1:1 calls -- something I normally don’t offer. Details in the P.S.

→ And we’ll also be hosting community Clarity Boost calls to address ANY of your "I’m not 100% clear" thoughts. They're hotseat style so you'll have an entire group of inspired women banding together to bring YOUR truth into focus. Shoot me a reply if you’d like to join!

3) This is an OPPORTUNITY to go BIG with your mission

If you’re not entirely convinced about #2 or you feel uncomfortable selling or you just want to do it anyway, then get out there and SERVE for free or low cost. (I’m doing both, in addition to my normal offers and content.)

Ask yourself this: What’s the link between what I’m here to do in the world and what people really need now? (It’s ok to broaden your niche if you’re called to do so.) It’s a different question than, "What does my ICA want to pay for?" although they’re not mutually exclusive.

As for me,

I’m moved to help you and the rest of the world use this crisis as a springboard to uplevel your life …

I want you to emerge from this with greater clarity and conviction about what you really want out of life and the contribution you want to make … and then turn that into a business with consistent revenue so you actually have the freedom to act on those choices.

(Which is a pretty uncommon way of living, unfortunately.)

And how cool will it be for people to say,

"It was during one of the gravest times in my life, right in the middle of a pandemic, that I got clear, understood my next steps, and finally made it happen!"?


Here’s to love, calm and people helping people,

Jenna

P.S.S. What are you doing so your business can thrive NOW and also set yourself up for explosive growth once this crisis is over? (I get that this is a tough time, but people still need your help.)

If you’re not exactly sure … would you like eyes on your business from a coach who helps people reach 5-figure months?

If so, this is for you …

🛑I’m offering 5 Clarity Breakthrough Calls to help you get crystal clear on your "crisis strategy"🛑

Did you know this crisis is creating amazing opportunities to step up as a leader and GROW YOUR BUSINESS? If you have an online business, this is NOT the time to "wait things out."

Click the link below (or PM me) so you can get into focused action!!

What you get from this call:

➡️  You’ll walk away with a step-by-step strategy that will let you figure out the perfect action items for YOU, aligned with what you’re really about and what will most deeply serve your audience

➡️ You’ll weed out the initiatives that really DON’T matter … because success is as much about knowing what NOT to waste your time on as it is knowing what to focus on.

➡️ A customized plan to ensure you stay motivated for the long haul, rather than getting overwhelmed or sidetracked by shiny object syndrome.

Helping you go from "Why isn’t this working?" to "Yaeeee it feels so GOOD!!" is my superpower. Seriously. I’ve helped my clients:

➡️ FINALLY (after a year of getting nowhere on her own) launch a business doing something she loved (despite having no formal training), recouping her investment 4X within 3 months (and paid off all credit card debt, saved 6 months of living expenses, and quit her J-O-B within 5 months).

➡️ Go from low-priced offers and a client here or there to her first $10k month.

➡️ Throw out a business strategy that was getting her nowhere (zero paying clients) in favor of a reproducible "Clients on Demand" process that she can scale up or down.

My normal price for intensives is $495, but I’m offering these limited 90-minute Clarity Breakthrough sessions for $295 - an offer usually reserved for my Business Accelerator mastermind clients (reason why is below).

💢Interested? PM me or click the link below using offer code CORONA 💢

https://theuncommonway.as.me/?appointmentType=1752976

Note: Why am I doing this? As someone who has built a career around helping people find clarity in their business and life, I consider it my mission to help as many people as possible during this crisis arrive at their deepest clarity ever … because even though we’d never wish this on ourselves or anyone else, a crisis has the power to transform fear into strength and clarity like never before (if we let it) 💛 

And also ... Since we’ve withdrawn my son from preschool, I honestly don’t know if I’ll be offering this again. No false urgency, just sayin’. If you want this, now’s the time.