Ep# 98:Detox From Overwhelmed Hot Mess To Create More Easeful Business Growth as Women Entrepreneurs With Lauren Dito
Episode Summary
Have you ever wondered how to transform from your feelings of being overwhelmed and disorganized to becoming a confident and empowered entrepreneur?
In today’s fast-paced world, many women entrepreneurs find themselves juggling multiple responsibilities, often leading to feelings of being a hot mess.
This episode delves into practical strategies for revamping your mindset, offers, and processes to create a more streamlined and powerful business life.
In this episode, you will:
Gain insights on how to detox from a chaotic mindset and adopt a powerful, capable approach to business.
Learn practical tips for systematizing your business processes to reduce stress and increase efficiency.
Hear a real-life success story of how one entrepreneur transformed her business and personal life by making strategic changes.
Scroll up & press play now to discover the steps to take your business and life from chaos to clarity and confidence!
Schedule a call with Jenna about joining the Clarity Accelerator to dial in signature offers and strategies and a first-rate mindset.
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Links mentioned
https://www.foundryhome.design/
The Uncommon Way is led by business coach Jenna Harrison, who helps women entrepreneurs feel confident, find their ideal clients effortlessly and avoid overwork so they can manifest money and abundance in their business and life.
This podcast empowers female entrepreneurs to overcome imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and limiting beliefs through somatics, mindset, and spirituality, create 7-figure offers, and build an online coaching business with clarity and alignment.
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Full Episode Transcript:
Speaker: [00:00:00] What does it really look like to revamp your mindset and your offer and your processes and to move from feeling like a hot mess to feeling capable and powerful? Stick around and find out.
Speaker 2: You're listening to the Uncommon Way business and life coaching podcast. The podcast that helps women entrepreneurs get clear on signature offers and strategies that sell themselves. So you can lean back and stop the hustle. You will learn to maximize your mindset, messaging and strategy and step into the uncommonly successful business and life you are creating.
Here's your host. Top ranked business coach and reformed over analyzer turned Queen of Clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Speaker: Welcome back to The Uncommon Way. How are [00:01:00] you? I've got a really fun show for you today where you'll hear from my client, Lauren, who has detoxed so many things that just weren't serving her and is really transforming her business to make it work for her and flow more easily. And she's exceeded her goals to bring in more clients at higher prices.
But has also so completely said goodbye to being a hot mess that it has dramatically changed her life. But first, I just have to tell you about the best day yesterday taking my six year old to an amusement park, which is about 40 minutes away. It's called Hershey Park. Yes, as in Hershey Chocolate, and I haven't opened an episode with a personal story in a while now, cause I do want to keep these short and to the point for you, but this really ties into what we're talking about today, so just hang with me.
Alright, so there we were. It's the end of the day, and he's convinced me to go on this big roller coaster called the Jolly [00:02:00] Rancher. And even though he's 6, he's very tall, so he met the height requirement for all but the scariest coasters. Which, by the way, was where my husband Ben was having fun at that moment.
So it's me and Dylan getting strapped in on this Jolly Rancher thing, where they pull the car backwards up this huge slope, and then bing! They let you go, and you race down this hill into this loop de loop and corkscrew and back into a tunnel and another loop and then back up another slope just like the one you started on.
Except, this time, the car's backwards. And then you slide back down that slope and do the whole course backwards. And while I love loops and flips and things, I hate the big drops. I hate it so much. So for most of the day, I was like, no Later on, here I am, really [00:03:00] sweating bullets. I have this new ring that monitors my stress levels and heartbeat.
It was just hilarious at the exact moment in the day. It's the highest it's ever been, it was sky high. But Dylan looks at me and he's like, Mama, you got this. I love you. I'm right here with you. It's only 45 seconds. You're gonna be okay. You can do this. Which I thought was so adorable and mature, but it actually felt reassuring.
Even though he's six and we're on this colossal roller coaster, somehow those words felt amazing. Now, it turns out that's exactly what Ben told him when it was Dylan's first time on that. And by the way, it is not 45 seconds. But in that moment, it felt very meta, because that is how, of course, Ben talks to him, how I talk to him, how I talk to my clients too sometimes.
And now here he is doing the same for [00:04:00] me. And by the way, I did end up loving the ride. But, friend, this is exactly what it's like in your business. You start out doing all the things to support and take care of your business, and maybe even your kids, too, if that's the path you're walking. And then when you add in the way that we've been taught to succeed, which is being all the things for everybody, it's natural you get stretched so thin that you are dropping balls and underperforming.
And you end up feeling exhausted and like a hot mess and blaming yourself, which of course leads to more drop balls and underperforming. But it's not going to be that way forever if you're proactive, especially for my clients. And you'll hear from Lauren soon and know that it's possible for you too. If done right, that little business baby starts to be like, I got you.
But what's [00:05:00] amazing is that usually you become. That calm, capable CEO first, and right away, you're making different decisions, you're showing up differently, and that's what creates the conditions that your business needs to grow up and take care of you for a change. All of our episodes this month has really been about this process.
They've been about detoxing the things that aren't working for you in your business Yes But also in your mindset and the way you react and of course they've been exposing some things that you didn't even realize We're holding you back Us too We all have blind spots and I can't think of a better way for you to see what this kind of revamp Really looks like in the wild Then to hear from Lauren.
So in this episode, you'll get an up close and candid look at how the personal shows up in business, both positively and negatively. You'll get invaluable insights about how [00:06:00] to detox that hot mess identity and victim mentality in favor of a more powerful way of acting and making decisions. And you'll get Lauren's tactical, mindset, and even energetic tips.
That you can use now to kickstart that process for yourself. I say even energetic because Lauren is an engineer and is not into woo, which is fine, of course, but when you're in a community like ours and you are seeing such powerful outward manifestations of our inner world, it tends to make even the most avowed skeptic stop and scratch their head.
The exact same path that I walked myself. I have a feeling you're really going to enjoy and benefit from this one, so let's talk to Lauren. Lauren, welcome. I'm so glad you're here. I am so happy to be here. So we're going to be talking about all different things today because everything entwines as we know, but we'll be [00:07:00] talking about detoxing from that hot mess identity, uh, from detoxing from a victim mentality.
And also really allowing yourself to lean in to your best way of doing things and how to create like processes and systems around you to really support you so your business is supporting you rather than you just feeling inferior about what the business is like.
Speaker 3: In all things. Yes. Let's do it. I'm so excited.
Speaker: Yeah. So we've got a lot to talk about. I'm definitely, you have such a brilliant way of even framing things and talking about them that I know is going to be so helpful for people. And I'm also going to have you give, like, some of your tips and the things that you've learned because I think that will be really helpful for people as well.
But let's start out so that everyone feels completely normalized when they're listening to this and they know that they are not the only ones at all. [00:08:00] But let's just talk about what was going on with you that even had you looking for a business coach.
Speaker 3: Oh, it was like one of those middle of the night things.
Um, I had a rather dramatic entree into this period of my life. We all go through phases in life and mine involved a lot of like personal strife and I don't know, anxiety and antidepressant. And I had been a practicing interior designer before that period of my life and COVID hit and there was a lot of things that including having two kids.
And We had moved to Oregon and I was like ready to start my business again, and I just could not get traction. I was super frustrated. I had tried a number of different resources to really try to jumpstart the process and I was not succeeding and not getting the clientele that I wanted, though they were lovely, they were just not the direction I was trying to [00:09:00] go.
And it really was like a middle of the night, okay, so there's something has got to give here. And I think I've mentioned this to you before. I think you were like the second or third page based on the search criteria that I had used. Right. Which I couldn't tell you now, but I found you and I read your website and I was like, it was like a full body.
Yes.
Speaker 4: Like
Speaker 3: everything in me was like, this is my person. This is who I need to talk to. And so I sent you a message. I don't think I even sent messages out to any other coaches and you got back to me and it was like, okay, this is. It's crazy and I'm not making enough money in my business to like pay for this.
And yet I'm going to figure it out and I'm going to do it because it's like this or I just have to go out and get a job because either this or I have to give up on being a business owner and an entrepreneur.
Speaker: I remember you had a very keen awareness at the beginning, even when you were filling out the [00:10:00] questions before our call, where you knew that you were the thing getting in your way.
It's And not everyone has that understanding.
Speaker 3: It's like you're walking down a road and you see this giant boulder sitting in the middle of the road. And you're like, what do I even do here? Like the woods are dense on either side. What on earth is happening? And you look up and you're like, why does that look familiar?
And you look around and you're like, Oh, why is my face carved in that rock? It's literally me. I am the person. I cannot pass through here because I am literally the person standing in the way.
Speaker: Yes. And it is so hard for us to get beyond our own minds because we're so used to being in them. It's just, yeah.
How do you think things that you haven't thought and do things ways you haven't done them and just get out of your patterns and ways of being? I think it's great to let people know that you are a person that they can absolutely relate to [00:11:00] because you went from being this high achiever, engineer, doing all the right things to then taking a step in the direction of your own self interest and what was actually moving and meaningful to you by moving into a more creative path, an interior design, Then there was still this legacy thinking that we needed to start detoxing in order for you to really blossom in your own way of being.
Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.
Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from [00:12:00] Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to theuncommonway. com slash schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.
Speaker 3: Yeah, engineering was hard. So I became a materials engineer. I specialized in titanium. It's terribly nerdy and I loved it, but I worked in aerospace manufacturing.
And for any woman out there who is working in a business that is not friendly to women, believe me, I know where you are coming from. And I spent two years trying to figure out what that lateral move was going to be, because I knew I wanted to leave engineering. And my husband actually was like, why don't you do interior design?
And I was like, what am I going to pick out, Kurt? Like, what is this thing? And we lived in LA at the time. And so I took a class and it happened to feed into this certificate program that fed into a master's program. And I took one class and I called him and I was like, okay, so I'm done. Like, this is what we're doing [00:13:00] now.
It's like finding your website. Clearly there's a pattern here. And four years later, I had my master's in interior architecture. And yet, like you, that's not the end of the story, right? That seems like the happy ending to the story.
Speaker 4: And
Speaker 3: yet, then I went through the process of trying to learn how to become an entrepreneur.
And that education, that ongoing education is insane and humbling and incredible.
Speaker: So well said. Because we do. We're so used to just. Achieve whatever checkmark you need to achieve now. And then we get into entrepreneurship and we're like, what is this? What is this mess? Yes. Which is why it's such an amazing journey because we really get to find out who we are and how we want to do things and step into a really, a more powerful orientation in the world.
Yeah. So let's talk about that because that's the good stuff. So I was trying to remember [00:14:00] exactly when we had the conversation where I was like, you have to come on the podcast. But it is because so many of us spend our life in this place where we're just We just have a lot. I think that is like the entire country at this moment.
I'm trying to, trying to get this retirement party going for my husband now. And everyone's creating a video, like a, just saying a few words to him on video, and then we're compiling the video with some songs and photos as just a keepsake for him. It is so challenging. To get people to RSVP and to create their videos, and we know they all want to.
We only sent this to people that were really a big part of his career and we had close relationships with. So there's no doubt that we want to do the things, but there's just so much coming at us.
Speaker 3: Yes or
Speaker: no?
Speaker 3: Oh God. All the time. In any phase of life, really. We have small [00:15:00] kids and so that's a whole.
experience. Your husband is retiring. That's a whole experience. Each of us in our own ways are going through multiple individual experiences of overwhelm that maybe in a singular form would be fine to handle, but you still have to feed yourself and do the laundry and take care of the dog and mow the lawn and manage the people and plan the retirement party.
It's exhausting.
Speaker: Yes. So for you, I think what had happened was you and I had been working on Reinvention work, specifically, and detoxing some of these patterns that we were recognizing weren't helpful, and stepping into what would be possible and what you could create, what you could call in terms of really thinking bigger.
And then there was this point where it all just started, like you call it a flow on effect, where it all just started happening. We started seeing evidence of it start popping up. Can you talk about [00:16:00] that?
Speaker 3: So I have primarily been a residential designer working with people on their homes and I have had amazing success with some of my clients.
I still have clients in LA though I am currently in Portland and have loved that part of it. But I had a friend reach out to me, I had done some work for him and his wife who's also a very good friend of mine on their home and he decided to build his own plastic surgery practice and he was like, I have a designer that I'm working with who does doing the space planning.
But. This is a high end plastic surgery practice and it needs to be reflected as such. And so he and I started working together and built out this design that was just like amazing. I don't know, like it's rocker ish, we're using like black granite, but it just is so aligned with his vision. He started out with, I want this particular style and the more he and I talked about what [00:17:00] his personal brand was and like who he wanted to be in this practice.
It became something completely different. And it was a really amazing learning experience for me because I was stepping into commercial design, but also because it made me realize that I had this really special way of handling my clients in that I was able to, even in a commercial space where it can feel very, everything's like copy paste, really nailed down what his personal style was and help him reflect that in his practice.
And that space is under construction now, and it's going to be so amazing, I'm so excited about it.
Speaker: I love that because I'm helping you step away from the shoulds for you and really create something very cool and interesting and powerful, and then you're helping your clients step away from the shoulds and create something really unique for them and individual and powerful.
Yes. [00:18:00] Yes. And it ripples out. Yes. Yes. Yeah. So there were other ways too. So you were bringing on different clients. I remember you had told me, we just got on a call and you're like, Oh, and I decided to systematize all of the backend procedures for my business. Yes. I signed up for Dub Sotto and I've started creating all of these emails and it was such a huge break and departure from what before would have been.
The hot mess, challenged mom who's running around with like, whatever food, and just doing her best. And I remember once you had this really powerful image of you being at a park talking to another mom. And like, you had one child on one hip doing one thing, and the other one's being crazy running around doing something else.
And like, you were in the middle of this chaos. Just, yep, this is just the way it is. And we started playing with that, right? We're like, what if that no longer is the way it is in my life? And who would [00:19:00] that woman be? What would she be putting into place? And then I remember, yes, there was that day where you came back and you're like, oh, and I've just decided to completely systematize everything and make this.
And I'm like, that is what future Lauren would do.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And it like so much of the work that we did created in me a willingness to. Lean into the possibility that it could be easier. I no longer felt the need to make things difficult as a sign of success. And I realized that it's okay for me to automate things that can be automated well, to reflect my brand properly, to communicate with clients, especially those who are onboarding easily with a minimum of effort so that I can focus.
on the ways in which I bring the most value, which is doing the design work. It's not sending out the welcome email.
Speaker: And being in your most creative place when you do that high end design work.
Speaker 3: [00:20:00] Yes. So it really, I feel like so much of the work that we did created the room for the possibilities of it being different.
Like it wasn't necessarily that we laid out a plan, right? We just literally played with the idea that I could. Do things differently, and that could be better than where I am now, even if I can't imagine it that way, it just, it could be, maybe it'll be terrible, but maybe it'll be amazing. And that amount of breathing room was exactly what my brain needed to start spinning off in all directions.
And I have really spun into many directions, like, you know, me, I love tech.
Speaker 4: I love the
Speaker 3: nerdy, like, how do I make this work well? There's always a different app every time you talk. I always have an app. Every time. I'm like, have you seen this app? Have you seen this app? But what it has created is, I realized that I was willing to invest financially [00:21:00] in certain things.
But somehow I wanted to cheap out on creating the proper flow for my business, which is silly. Like it was such a mental block.
Speaker: Right. Because that's what a person who's running around in hot mess and a part of you potentially wanting to perpetuate that hot mess ness would never organize the shit out of the back end of their business.
Who wants to
Speaker 3: pay for software that works? I mean, honestly, that
Speaker: sounds like a terrible idea. So yeah. Yeah. Okay. And that's what I love seeing with you all, are those little breakthroughs when the evidence starts coming back in terms of what you've integrated. Not just what you've thought about, uh, hypothetically maybe, but when it starts sinking into your bones and you're like, it maybe started with the way you were showing up with your kids or it started with the way you were, I remember doing your hair and getting dressed, but then all of a sudden you're just making decisions in your business.
That align with [00:22:00] that future person
Speaker 3: and like confidently making them like I might need to change this later But this is the right decision for me right now and confidently making this business decisions for me was like an unattainable Dream, it felt very unachievable It felt like I was constantly skating on this really thin ice and I could never see where I might break through and plunge down into the water.
Making any sort of business decision confidently was a weird experience for me. And yet, because we had created room for the possibilities of so many positive things, once it finally clicked and it happened, it was like, Oh, Of course, I would do that. Of course, I would take care of this part of my business.
Of course, I would serve my clients in this way. And of course, I would then find that I feel that I am worth more to my clients. And of course, I would then reflect that in my [00:23:00] prices. That's right. You've raised your prices. Significantly. In fact. Yes. Yes. Really had no pushback on that. No friction. None. Who knew?
Literally nobody is like, that's too expensive. Everybody's like, oh, where do I sign? I'm like,
Speaker: clearly
Speaker 3: should have done this a while ago.
Speaker: Right. Yes. That's like when Mel was talking about her daughter. Were you there on that call? I may have missed that
Speaker 3: one.
Speaker: Oh, so good. She was saying, I don't know, maybe I'm overcharging.
And the daughter who's in high school, you gotta love this new generation, right? It was like, Mom, shouldn't you be more worried that you're undercharging?
Speaker 3: I need her daughter in my life. Right? That's amazing. Because
Speaker: of course, as women, It's more likely, it's statistically more likely that we will undercharge than that we will overcharge.
And yet we're always so worried that we might be overcharging. I know. And hurting someone's feelings.
Speaker 3: Why am I in charge of your [00:24:00] feelings anyway? That's a, that's a different podcast. So,
Speaker: yes. But let's talk about, because you have talked about the flow on effect. You said you were telling friends of yours, right, about this when they asked about business coaching.
Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely.
Speaker 3: It's funny because I have had friends that I've talked to who've had difficulties in their careers or like trouble with a personal relationship and the language that I use when I talk to them about it has changed and they're like, why are you so wise? And I'm like, it's trickle down therapy.
Like it's, I get help from everywhere and you're just getting the benefit of that. I have started to use the language of like, why don't we allow for the possibility that? What if this was an option, right? Which is something that you do to me a lot. And sometimes I love it. And other times I'm quite resentful, but so many people have been like, wow, like this coaching thing is like a real, this is a real thing.
This is really helpful. And I'm like, [00:25:00] yeah, you have no idea. Like, I cannot enumerate the number of ways in which my relationship with you and the coaching that you have. brought into my life has changed the way that I approach almost every facet of life. And it's really weird to think that like one relationship can have that kind of impact other than like, I don't know, your mom.
You've also created this community for me because I've had, I've really driven really high achieving women in my life. My friends are badasses. But none of them understand the drive to build something from scratch
Speaker 4: and
Speaker 3: to build a business and to see it grow and to push yourself to see what you're even capable of.
And you have also brought this community of women who are like, why wouldn't you do that? [00:26:00] And have normalized it for me. Yes. I feel a lot less like a weirdo these days because there's this community of women now. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's doing it. And so I can still have those amazing relationships with my very driven friends, and then I can still build these relationships with these other women who are like, Oh my gosh, I'm struggling with my mindset around this thing because entrepreneurship is hard and dumb and we shouldn't do it, but we do because we're gluttons for punishment.
Speaker: And because there's so much payoff.
Speaker 3: And because there's so much payoff. And because it's magic. Yes. Yes. Absolute and utter. magic to build something from scratch. Yes, created from
Speaker: our
Speaker 3: brains. How crazy is that? I know. I mean, I always say the inside of my head is a wild and wacky place and entrepreneurship is another check in that column, right?
Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker: I, it's hard though when I, First, meet with [00:27:00] somebody that's not really familiar with coaching and mindset work. They're just coming because they have some business kinks that they want to work through. Maybe they're just working too many hours and they want to work fewer hours. It's challenging for me to convey on that call how much their life is going to change through doing this kind of work.
It's challenging to say that to somebody who hasn't actually experienced it, but I know once you had said, you can totally. Tell me, we'll just edit this out of the podcast, if you're like, I don't really remember saying that, or if you're like, I don't know if I'm comfortable sharing that, but so many people have told me this, and it's something you've said, and it's that you've done years and years of therapy, but you've never changed so quickly in such a short amount of time than doing this kind of work.
It's so different.
Speaker 3: It's such a different kind of work. And yes, years of therapy. I love therapy. [00:28:00] Therapy is a beautiful place to be. And I, for those of you out there who have lost family members, everybody who raised me passed away before I had my second child,
Speaker 4: between
Speaker 3: the ages of 25 and 35, everybody who raised me passed away.
And so years of therapy, years of work on a number of different things, including honestly abusive professional relationships. So there's, we'll call it baggage. Don't worry. It's pretty and it all matches. So doing coaching is a little bit like, like therapy, I feel like addresses so much of the emotional side of things and coaching with you addresses that, but it so much addresses like mindset and the way we talk to ourselves, which was not an experience that I had in therapy.
And it also addresses execution. And so much of therapy is about talking about it and working through the thing, but it doesn't [00:29:00] actually have to do with execution. And it doesn't have to do with growth per se. And I do feel like healing and growth are two sides of the same coin. Therapy deals a lot with healing.
And coaching, in my limited experience, because I have only worked with you, has helped It unequivocally brought an incredible amount of growth. And so
Speaker: can you speak to how it does trickle into other areas of your life?
Speaker 3: Yes. So one of the things that you and I had talked about was like when something goes wrong or when you're feeling a certain way about something, there's like a really great opportunity to learn from
Speaker 4: it.
Speaker 3: And that has something that was something that I had understood intellectually, but never internalized, right? We know in our brains, many things, but. Whether or not we put those things into practice is very different.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I had started to really put that into practice and I had put it into [00:30:00] practice in how I approach things in my business, how I approach them personally and also in how I communicate it to my kids.
And my oldest boy is now nearly five and he just is deeply a perfectionist. He wants to do it right or not at all.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And this last week actually he was out hitting baseballs with my husband and he was on the concrete, like on the street. hits the ball and knocks that thing super far, but swings himself around so far that he falls and hits his butt and his knee and he's crying.
He's super upset about it. And as he's coming down from that feeling of upset, he says, I should stand on the grass next time. And that's such a small thing. Anybody else who's observing that would not imagine that as like an amazing mind shift and breakthrough. But it's true that it was a breakthrough [00:31:00] because here's this kid Who if he gets hurt or if he doesn't win the race or if somebody hurts his feelings, he's like i'm out Yeah, i'll go do something else.
I don't want to be here anymore Who suddenly is like I want to keep going? But, I'm going to learn the lesson from that.
Speaker: And that's through so many conversations he's had with you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we talk
Speaker: about mistakes,
Speaker 3: like, what mistakes did you make today? Oh, okay, let's try harder. If you're not making mistakes, then you're not learning.
You got to make mistakes. And okay, this was a thing that went badly. What can we learn from that? Can we learn a lesson from that? That means that it's a mistake that you needed to make.
Speaker: Yeah. And not just telling him from what you've told me, but also you modeling it for him.
Speaker 3: Absolutely. Oh, mama made that mistake.
What lesson should I learn from that? Oh, that was a mistake that I made. That's okay. I learned this and now I'll do that differently going forward. And just really like it, it's creating so much growth [00:32:00] in my children, in my three and five year old children and how they are willing to approach. Themselves and the world and mistakes and learning.
It's been incredible.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. I just, I know there have been so many times where you've been like, I'm going to keep going to the gym and I'm just going to make things work now. I'll talk to you when I'm at the gym. Right? It doesn't have to be perfect. Like I get back into my office and then sit down.
Like I'm going to make my life work for me in so many ways. And I know that has to. It just has to ripple out in so many things that you're doing. I was thinking it might be fun if I talked through just a couple of the bullet points in terms of ways you've changed and you tell us how you thought about it then.
Okay. And how you think about it now. Okay. Because for you now, it's second nature, but for someone listening to this, they might be like, that is mind blowing, [00:33:00] or that is revolutionary, so let's just share some of this gold. Okay. Talk about the things that are like, yes, taking the time to get your self support, systematize all of those things.
You talked about a little, but what, how did you used to think about it, how do you think about it now? Okay.
Speaker 3: I used to think that, like, I was supposed to do it by myself. I used to think that I couldn't really call myself an entrepreneur if I wasn't on this island of my own making, somehow making magic happen in a vacuum.
Speaker: So good.
Speaker 3: And now I Kind of back to the reference of that constellation. I recognize that there is no way for me to be successful without support and without having people that I can go to like resources and coaching even where I can go, Hey, I'm [00:34:00] screwing this up or Hey, how would you do this? Or Hey, I did this thing and I need to, like nobody else understands how excited I am about this dumb thing that I did.
Somebody cheer me on. I need applause for a half second. Because we do, as entrepreneurs, we get so little feedback and we especially get so little celebration of the things that are important that we're trying to do or change and to have a community around you that's like, Oh, that's so amazing. I know you were working so hard on that.
And you finally made this change that seems small, like my son saying, I need to be on the grass, right? It seems like a small shift. But it is, in fact, so incredible.
Speaker: Yeah. Along with the kids analogy again, it's like those relatives that come from out of town and they see your child after a year or two and they're like, Oh my gosh, they're so big.
But when you see them on a daily basis, everyone around them, [00:35:00] they don't get that same kind of feedback. And it's true with entrepreneurship. Our shifts are so important. But they're so micro each day and very rarely do we get someone who has been away from us for a year or two to then be like, Whoa, Lauren, you've changed.
Speaker 3: Who's also
Speaker: then willing
Speaker 3: to provide you with the feedback, right? Yes. Because a lot of times you're like, I haven't seen you in a year. Hey, like we don't know each other that well. Like really understand how important it is for me to be able to lean on people who are in the same situation. In the same community of entrepreneurship and personal growth, really, has been game changing.
Speaker: Yes. Okay. Let's talk about your thoughts about rest, because I remember there was definitely a period where I was like, you need to take a nap and you were like, give me the plan, dammit. You remember?
Speaker 3: I [00:36:00] remember we were in the middle of a group call and you were like, do you hear my regulated voice?
Because you're very activated right now, and I'm like, come on, you know,
Speaker: good times. So good. Okay. But yes, talk about that. Talk about how you think about it now and how you thought about it then. So people know they're not the only ones thinking of it that way.
Speaker 3: If you are the person out there thinking that you just have to work through it, go lay on the floor, stare at the ceiling and tell yourself you're not being chased by a tiger.
This is the best advice I've got. Um, I was, I feel like always in fight or flight when you and I first started working together. And one of the first things that you started working on with me was cinematics, regulating your system, really getting your nervous system back to something close to normal.
And there was this moment when we were first kind of building [00:37:00] our relationship and I was like, I think I just need some like accountability. Like I need somebody to be like, Hey. You are going to do this thing, or hey, I'm following up on this thing. And I remember distinctly you saying, what if there was a time where you didn't need somebody to ride herd on you because you are so capable of doing it yourself.
You have built all the tools, you have learned how to manage yourself, and you don't need somebody to check in with you. make you accountable because you know how to make yourself accountable. And I was like, my head exploded. I don't know. Like I was that emoji. And I think that was really the beginning of me starting to understand how rest plays into success.
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.
Speaker 3: And yeah. We were talking earlier and I was saying April was a hard year because my husband was out of town, like internationally traveling for two weeks. And I was still parenting, trying to run my business. I have active projects. I'm [00:38:00] on site and I got to the end of that second week and I was basically vibrating out of my chair, just like waiting for the moment that he arrived.
And I thought I'm going to rest for the weekend. And then next week I'm going to feel so much better and I may be ready to get back to it. That's not how it works. And my brain took a vacation. I was still trying to work. My brain was in Tahiti, so how effective I was at that work is questionable. It's like this constant learning experience for me and I have finally internalized that if I don't get the rest that I need.
Not just physical sleeping rest, but also rest without my phone, rest outdoors, rest, engaging and meaningful relationships. If I don't get those, then I cannot expect my brain to function in the ways that I need it to function in order to accomplish my [00:39:00] goals and design is very creative, but even for analytical work, you're not going to be as precise in any of that work.
if you can't give yourself the rest that you need.
Speaker: Yeah, and the crazy thing for us over workers is that you're not going to be as fast at it either No, we're trying to save like we're trying to do more by overworking But we take so much longer and I've seen you I've seen you on days where you've just been like, whoa I really I took Monday morning off and then I just Got so much done in that afternoon, or then I came up with this amazing design, or I just, oh, I remember you remember when you just downloaded all of your website copy?
You're like, oh, I know it's this and blah, blah, blah, blah. And you sent me that blurb. Yep. That you didn't have to struggle over writing it. It just, just, it just existed.
Speaker 3: I just needed to wait for it to show up.
Speaker 4: Yes,
Speaker 3: and there's been a lot of that, like [00:40:00] when I give myself moments of rest or I get outside, it's now getting into.
Spring and summer in Portland, which means less rain and more sunshine. I will take it. When I get outside and I go out and I'm walking among the trees and I come home, I could be mulling over a problem for an hour inside of my house, or I could go outside, rain or shine, walk my dog for 15 minutes and come back and it's like the answer is waiting at my front door.
It's like special delivery, here's what you needed. That was so much easier than I expected it to be. It is so much
Speaker: easier. We make things so hard for ourselves. Yeah. Absolutely. There are a couple podcasts for any of you that are just tuning in to the podcast that I'll link to. In the show notes that really talk about the mechanics behind how our, the best parts of our brain open up when we do rest and why it's so counterproductive to just try and knock one more thing out, knock one more thing out.
So I'll link to those for easy reference too, [00:41:00] but Lauren, you've lived it. I have lived it. I have lived
Speaker 3: it. Like the fast paced, I'm working 18 hours a day working on the weekends life. I've lived all of the stress of COVID with small kids and trying to build my business. And the thing, aside from the work that we have done, Jenna, which has been so incredible.
The only thing you had ever taught me was REST. That's the thing that would have been worth every penny. Because I think everything else might have come to me eventually. But the REST part was not something I was going to learn on my own.
Speaker: It was not native. Yeah.
Speaker 3: No. That was, my brain was like, I'm sorry, this does not compute.
What language are we speaking here? Like, no.
Speaker: All right, last topic here. Let's talk about your, like it being okay for you to do things your way. And that could be regarding the schedule or how you prioritize, but just your worth and [00:42:00] feelings of just doing it wrong.
Speaker 3: Well, you and I talked briefly about this, but for so long, and I think this is a socialization issue.
I think this is a, like a women's specific issue, maybe not. only women, but definitely primarily women, deal with this expectation that we are supposed to fit into the existing molds, right? And I talked about that as we are supposed to align ourselves from the outside in, from society's expectations and our jobs expectations and our family's expectations in.
We're supposed to meet all of those means. and not figure out how to align from the inside from the core of who we are out into the world. Like we aren't allowed to take up space.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Basically.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I was approaching my business in that way. I was approaching it as like, Oh, these systems work for so many people.
They should work for me too. So if there's an issue, it's clearly not a [00:43:00] system issue. It's a me issue. Like I was literally morally judging myself. For not liking Asana. I hate Asana. Speaking up.
Speaker: Oh, such a good example though, morally judging yourself for a software that doesn't work for you. Do you just, rather than just being like, Meh, this one doesn't work for me, I'll try this other one.
We make all this judgment on top of it. Yes. And we talk about a microcosm of all the things we judge ourselves on.
Speaker 3: It is. It is. Well, and, and you and I talk about like confirmation bias, right? Like I say, like. I use, I'm now learning to use confirmation bias for good, right? I'm using it to look for the things that are positive in my actions and in my life.
But for so long, I used confirmation bias as a way of proving to myself that I was not good enough, that I was a failure, that I was an imposter, all of those amazing things that we do to beat the crap out of ourselves. And this was one way that I did it. And when I finally [00:44:00] started And it didn't start with action.
It really just started with observation. When I started looking at what worked and what didn't from a very neutral perspective, instead of one where I'm trying to confirm my personal worth, it was really easy to be like, this just doesn't work for me. Like for whatever reason, it doesn't matter. I don't have to have a reason for everything.
I don't like it and it doesn't work. And it created this. situation where I was just able to shed so much unwanted, like, emotional and mental baggage. Like, I didn't have to worry about why. I didn't have to explain it. It's nobody's business. It just doesn't work and I don't like it. And so I shed softwares and I shed, like, I shed people, which is a different conversation.
I like, I just was able to go, okay, I don't need to drag these rocks [00:45:00] behind me anymore.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. I remember you were the one that said it was like Sisyphus. It was like carrying that rock up the hill all the time.
Speaker 3: Yes. And like watching it just roll back down and knowing that I had to trudge back down the hill and start again.
And I just didn't have that. It just fell away. And I was able to then start really going, okay, well, what could work? Like, what am I trying to do? Yeah. And what are the tools that might align with how I think and how I do things that would allow me to be successful in that?
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I set aside the idea of money because why am I going to cheap out?
Speaker: But. Yeah. And I remember it wasn't just softwares. It was also even the way you were prioritizing your task list or the way that you needed things that help you work better and get your things done, like internal systems you were also judging.
Speaker 3: actually as an aside for like the rest thing, right? [00:46:00] So many people think that Monday morning is supposed to be your most vital time.
I have small kids and even when I had small kids, I do not like Monday mornings. I don't like spending time trying to bend my brain back to work on a Monday morning. So I have started taking Monday mornings 9 to 11. I do not work. If there's an emergency or if I feel like it and literally, if I feel like it, if I don't, I might go sit out on my back deck, I might walk my dog, I might read a book, I might make a nice breakfast, or I might lay on the floor and remind myself that I'm not being chased by a tiger.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 3: But I don't force myself into any particular role for the first couple of hours of my work week. And that's very different than almost any productivity coach I've ever heard of.
Speaker: Mm hmm. Yes. We are very uncommon here.
Speaker 3: Yes, we are. At The Uncommon Way. But it was, I could not have thought of that if [00:47:00] I hadn't already been in this mode of observing what worked for me and what didn't.
And it really is a continual process
Speaker: of
Speaker 3: figuring out what works and what doesn't. But being able to just not, I just, I have the option to just not with life for two hours on Monday morning. My kids are in school, My house might or might not be a complete wreck, and it does not matter. I'm just going to sit here and enjoy my book.
Speaker: In a place where you were, which is, you're running around trying to do a million different things, you have a business, but it wouldn't necessarily, no one would be like, Oh, she's an amazing CEO. Look at this empire she's building, right? It's more like we're just doing our thing. And they are sitting here thinking about how things might be different for them, how it could be different, how, what would it be like if I weren't always feeling that way?
They're listening to your words. We're going to give them [00:48:00] kind of a tactical and a mindset tip. And energetic, if you can think of anything. But the tactical one, do you want to go with that, lay on the floor and tell yourself you're not being chased by a tiger, or is there something else coming up that's like one, one to do?
Speaker 3: That one's a great one. The other one that I would throw out there is that most women I know spend so much time in their own heads. And if there was a way to create some space, to create some clarity, it would be. Take 20 minutes and meditate if that's what works for you, get out of your house if that's what works for you, Jenna likes dance parties, I vote yes, do that, but give yourself space to not think about it and then allow your thoughts to very gently rest back on whatever the problem was.
Because a lot of times I feel like we dig in. It's almost, there's more resistance to finding the solution the harder we think about it. [00:49:00] And if we allow our minds to just like rest on it, sometimes it just pops up.
Speaker: Beautiful. Yes. So good. Okay. What's the mindset?
Speaker 3: I think like, you're either winning or you're learning.
And I don't know where I heard that. But like, Yes. Yes. Failure. I have redefined failure for myself and that is failure is if I quit something that I really wanted to do. That's it. If I quit something that I didn't like anyway, that's not failing. That's actually winning.
Speaker 4: Uh
Speaker 3: huh. See ya. Goodbye. Yeah. So I am either winning or I am learning.
So in any circumstance where I have fucked something up, I have done something silly, or I have made a mistake, Or even if it's outside of my control, but I'm responsible for it. If there's a lesson that I can learn, then I did not fail. I won.
Speaker: Yeah. So good, Lauren. Yes. Okay. I love that. Energetically. This has been an area where you've maybe [00:50:00] been watching a lot of the other ones of us talk about this, but is there anything coming up for you?
I have something I'm thinking of for you, but I want
Speaker 3: to hear what you have.
Speaker: Okay. So I'm thinking about the times where you've gotten really clear. And then that thing has, like, typically a new client has come in. Yes. So do you remember when we were like, first of all, right when you signed up with me, there was a client.
And then I remember there was a time where I was like, even though you don't have the capacity to take on another client right now, you can still be selling. Yeah. And what would those clients be like? And then boom, another. And then I got another client.
Speaker 3: So we've talked about human design. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm a manifesting generator.
And that is the thing. That is, that is a pattern in my life where I allow for the space to believe that's possible, right? Like it's not. I'm not firm. I'm not putting boundaries into the universe. I'm literally just going, what would that look like if I was still [00:51:00] selling right now? What would it look like to get that next amazing, incredible client?
And like, I envision that and it's not something I have to talk about. It's not something that I have to spend a lot of time on. It's the same as like resting my thoughts gently on something, right? I'm just allowing my mind to consider it and then it shows up before me. Okay. And if you can just allow yourself, allow your mind to consider the possibility of the next amazing thing.
There's no expectation. You're not forcing it. There's no need to make it happen. Just allow yourself to consider the possibility.
Speaker: Brilliant. Because that, so many people when they're trying to do that work. They have to believe it really hard, they have to repeat it to themselves every day, and so that is such a great tip for the energetic of just being open to possibility.
Yeah, that has made all the difference. Oh my gosh, [00:52:00] thank you, Lauren. Okay, two last things. What would you say to somebody who's, I should be able to do this on my own, I don't really have that money to invest right now, I should just make the money first and then get a coach, or should I even have a coach?
What would you say?
Speaker 3: One, can I hug you? And two, it feels so impossible. It feels so impossible to invest in yourself before you have seen a return on the investment in your business.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it does.
Speaker 3: Please believe that you are worth that investment. My biggest struggle was always that I felt that I wasn't worth the investment until my business.
Had made real money.
Speaker: Yes,
Speaker 3: and what I had to really learn was that I was worth that Whether or not my business [00:53:00] fails, coaching has been a success, and my business is not failing, by the way, it is growing, but whether or not my business fails, I now understand and deeply believe that I am worth the investment of coaching.
Speaker: Yes. Thank you. I think somebody needed to hear. I hope so. Yeah. And it takes, it is really a huge departure for our brains that I completely understand because I was there too. It's hard to wrap our brains around, right? I just want to reiterate again, I don't think there is any better investment than a woman with drive.
Really driven? Invest in her. She'll pay you dividends, by golly. Yeah, so good. Okay, if people want to find out more about you, where can they find you?
Speaker 3: They can go to foundryhome. design. The website is, I would say, currently under construction. But it's really delightful and we're very excited and it's growing and it's going to be amazing.
Speaker: Yes, we will [00:54:00] link to it in the show notes. Yeah. And it's so fun because so often people will listen to episodes in, who knows, six months from now or something and website and they'll be like, well, that looks pretty damn good to me. If you are looking, I think it'd be a really fun thing just to tell them also what they are getting into.
Because if you are looking for, okay, you just have to share the thing, I love it so much, about what you said about the people on Instagram or what your, who your clients really are. Do you remember this? I'm trying to lead you into it. I'm just gonna have to say it. Don't lead me. Just tell me. I'm just gonna say it.
We've had so many
Speaker 3: conversations, Jenna, and like the bits that you remember sometimes are very different than the bits that I remember.
Speaker: So, I remember this moment of clarity where you said, my ideal clients are the ones who want their house to look like what two years from now will be all over Instagram, or three years from now will be all over [00:55:00] Instagram.
So not the ones that want to look like everybody else, and I just think that anyone that's drawn to this podcast and the name The Uncommon Way is really looking to, so a lot of those people. Want help with their homes and the space that surrounds them and they should talk to you. That's what I'm trying to say Please talk to me.
Speaker 3: That's great Also, like my drive for design has always been how do I take this individual? this imperfect and beautiful and incredible individual and make their house feel like You walk in and you're like, Oh, this is you in your like most ideal state in that state where you have had the coach and you have done the work and you've built this great life that you are proud of and comfortable in.
And that's the space that you walk into.
Speaker: We have such different businesses, but we're all doing the same work. It's all,
Speaker 3: it's all the work of people. And life, and individuality, and success, and [00:56:00] artistry, and growth. And
Speaker: authenticity, and growth, and stepping into who you're here to be, and, oh my gosh, so awesome.
And
Speaker 3: generally being badasses. I mean, let's be honest.
Speaker: Oh, Lauren, it was so great having you on. Thank you for taking the time. Thank you again for having
Speaker 3: me. It's always wonderful to talk with you.
Speaker 2: Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit theuncommonway. com. See you next time.
